Chapter 6 #2
‘Yoohoo!’ We swing round to see Tash shimmying through the hallway in a skintight all-in-one flesh-coloured fitted jumpsuit.
I do a double take as she drops a multitude of duty-free bags to the floor with a loud clink and throws her arms in the air as though filming a Kardashian Christmas in the Nude special. ‘Where my bitches at?’
She must mean me and Liberty. We dutifully scurry over and exchange air kisses – because she has a full face of make-up and elaborate contouring that we wouldn’t dare smudge.
Tash thoughtfully keeps her glittering Christmas nails away from us too.
They are as long as kitchen knives and just as sharp.
Sister Kevin is towering over her and looking very pleased.
‘Well, isn’t this place picture perfect?’ Tash gushes. ‘I’ve walked into a Christmas Hallmark movie.’
‘Wait until you see the bedrooms. They’re stunning.’
Tash lets out an almighty gasp.
She must have spotted the magnificent Christmas tree by the doors to the Juliet balcony.
‘OMG!’ Tash shrieks, pointing at the wooden crates of Lovington.
‘They’re here!’ She races towards them, arms out wide.
She tears off the top of the nearest crate with the strength of a grizzly bear, flings the shredded paper packaging to one side and carefully lifts out a bottle.
‘Kev! Let’s get some of these in the fridge. ’
A loud clearing of the throat alerts us to the butler hovering nearby. ‘Allow me to show you to your room, madame. I’ll need to instruct the staff to bring the suitcases up in stages. Which of the ten will you be needing imminently?’
‘Just the knock-off Louis Vuitton ones to the room please. Everything else can go with the rest of the wedding clothes. Connie will know.’
Again, we are all part of the same WhatsApp group. I have told them repeatedly that I am not in sole charge of the wedding planning.
‘Actually, Liberty is down for organising the costumes,’ I say.
‘Am I, babes?’ Liberty says as though I didn’t just show her the to-do list moments earlier.
Tash waits for me to respond. I sigh, pointing across the room towards the duck-egg-blue double doors. ‘Put the rest of the cases in the ballroom, I guess. Until we get sorted. We can discuss the itinerary and confirm who is doing what over dinner tonight.’
‘Good plan, babes.’ Tash waves the bottle around. ‘Let’s do a selfie!’ Before I know what’s happening she’s whipped out her phone and is taking a ton of selfies posing with the bottle. ‘It’s really important that we don’t forget to promote the Lovington brand during the wedding, yeah?’
‘Yeah, hun. It’s on-brand for me anyway,’ offers Liberty, grabbing a bottle and handing it straight to Nacho as though he’s her personal assistant.
Nacho seems only too willing to help, and I do wonder if he wants more from Liberty than friendship.
But like Matteo says, they are adults. It’s none of my business what they get up to.
‘You still doing the whole charisma consultancy thing, babes?’ Tash asks.
‘When I have time, yeah.’ Liberty bats her lashes at Nacho. ‘I’m between clients at the moment.’
Tash screws her eyes as she too watches their body language. ‘Wait. Are you guys boning?’
Liberty huffs dramatically. ‘No! Of course not.’ She is grinning from ear to ear.
‘What is boning?’ Nacho asks, smirking. ‘It is good thing, no?’
Matteo tuts. He is not enjoying the flirtatious nature of his brother and the girlfriend of his extremely new and extremely rich and well-connected business partner.
They exchange a few words in Spanish, but this only seems to make Nacho more playful.
It is the first time I’m witnessing their teasing dynamic up close.
‘Chill out, pet,’ Nacho finally says to him in a thick Spanish accent before he and Liberty burst into giggles.
‘We’re doing an intercambio, aren’t we, Nacho, pet?’ Liberty articulates, winking at Tash. ‘I’m teaching him how to speak Geordie.’
‘It is like learning a whole new language,’ Nacho agrees. ‘There don’t seem to be any rules.’
‘Divvint be daft,’ Tash tells him. ‘Yill lorn it in nee time, man. Here, hold that Lovington bottle a bit higher and pretend to drink out of it. Christ, you’re gorgeous, pet. We could make a fortune with this deal.’ She thrusts a phone camera in his face.
Nacho is clearly baffled, which causes Liberty to throw her arms around his neck. ‘You are so cute. You have no clue what’s going on.’
I feel Matteo stiffen. Understandably. It’s hard to say who is using who as they all seem to be getting something out of this bizarre exchange.
The staff frown at the crates of booze and the bottles being opened. When they disappear from the room to move the luggage, Tash reaches her Christmas-themed fingernails to her lips and takes a deep inhale on her vape.
‘Are you smoking?’ I ask. ‘Indoors?’
‘No,’ she declares.
I watch as she slowly exhales a cloud of sickly-sweet breath. ‘I can see smoke.’ I waft it away from my face. ‘I’m not sure we’re allowed to vape indoors, Tash.’
‘You’re definitely not allowed to vape or smoke in the house. You’ll need to go outside,’ Matteo says in an authoritative tone.
‘And it is bad for your health,’ Nacho states. ‘Very bad.’
‘Really? I hadn’t heard,’ Tash says facetiously. ‘Libs, hun, we’ll need to set time aside to make some proper assets for Lovington. I’m thinking the Dollz can move into content creation for some of our favourite brands. We’d get shitloads of freebies.’
Liberty’s eyes light up. ‘I’m in!’
‘We’ll approach this vape company. These spiced mulled-wine-flavoured ones are so effing expensive.’ She shows Liberty the vape pen before putting it to her lips once more.
‘The family have a strict policy against smoking. Just like their policy for no children in the house. The children I assured them wouldn’t be coming.’ Matteo glares at her, clearly annoyed.
Tash petulantly rolls her eyes for Sister Kevin’s benefit before addressing Matteo. ‘Is this the same family who are currently on board a mega-yacht off the Amalfi coast with a Saudi prince?’
Matteo doesn’t even get a chance to reply as she yanks Sister Kevin by the arm. ‘Let’s crack on, babes. See you all at dinner.’
I blink slowly. I can already feel that this is going to be the longest week of my entire life.