Chapter 11 #2
She lowers the elaborately decorated fan from her face. ‘Successful?’ she mouths confidently, as though getting hold of the potentially incriminating footage is a done deal and I have saved the day.
I shake my head. ‘Not yet.’
Liberty emits a frustrated groan just as Big Mand and Big Sue arrive hand in hand.
Big Sue is resplendent in dark green, her elegant gown complementing the deep crimson opulence of her lover’s costume.
Big Mand would look stunning – if only her dress fitted properly.
The luxurious velvet fabric is hanging off her and swamping her now tiny frame.
The shoulders are halfway down her arms, the bodice hangs loose against her once voluptuous bangers and the hem trails along the floor an inch too long.
I can see Cherry eyeing her closely, assessing the alterations that need to be done.
She bustles to the PA system, rummages in her oversized bag and opens up her laptop.
‘Gather round, everyone!’ Cherry shouts, her voice echoing. ‘I’m going to show you the dance we’ve been practising and take you through the choreography. It’s basically five simple steps repeated and then we’ll all have a run-through.’
The doors are flung open and Jean-Marc walks in with his tripod under his arm, camera slung round his neck.
‘Bonjour.’ He smiles in greeting as he sets up.
‘Sorry I am late. I went to check small cameras in the kitchens and the wine cellar. We will speed up the action over the days into a few seconds. It will look incredible.’
Wine cellar? Fuckety fuck.
‘No worries. You’re just in time,’ says Liam, smiling. ‘We’re rehearsing the first dance. Me and Ged will start it off and then we’ll wow all of the guests as the others join in and we sort of become an eighteenth-century flash mob.’ His eyes are bright with excitement.
‘He’ll shoot from this direction, and we’ll have extra footage from those cameras.’ Ged nods towards the corners of the ballroom where cameras have been fastened to the walls above the ornate lamps. One of them is literally pointing at the secret wall panel.
I swallow hard, flicking my gaze briefly to Matteo. ‘How long have they been running?’ I ask Liam in as light a tone as I can manage.
He shrugs. ‘Since Jean-Marc set them up this morning. Or was it last night? Who cares. Anyway, we’re after a warts-and-all exposé.
What really happens behind the scenes of a destination wedding?
We want scandal. Drama. Sizzling tension.
We’re thinking of doing something a bit like Mormon Wives but on WeddingTok. ’
Shit.
While Cherry takes us through the steps and Dom chases the children around the room trying to get them to stay still for five seconds while he listens to their mummy, Matteo murmurs in my ear that this would be a great time to approach Jean-Marc and get him to agree to showing us the footage.
‘Good plan,’ I whisper back. ‘When we’re finished the dance rehearsal, why don’t I keep Ged and Liam occupied while you hang back and talk to Jean-Marc?’
‘Attention please!’ barks Cherry. ‘From the top, everyone. Places. Watch carefully and follow my lead. And a one, two, three, dip… turn to the left. One, two, three, dip and turn to the right… and a four and a five and back to the start. Okay?’ She makes it seem effortless.
I’m pleased to see her husband gazing admiringly at her while he has Clementine clasped around his torso and Peaches clinging to his leg sucking hard on the dummy, occasionally plucking it from her lips to quizzically contemplate it before popping it back in. ‘Dom, let’s show them how it’s done.’
Dom prises the children off and sits them down with a couple of sausage rolls to keep them occupied.
He is surprisingly nimble considering how haggard and tired he is, and Cherry seems tiny in his arms as he waltzes her around the room.
They are in perfect time with the music and in perfect step with each other. After a few moments their faces relax.
‘It’s almost like they don’t hate each other,’ Liberty murmurs in my ear.
The longer they dance, the more Dom starts smiling. It’s the happiest I’ve seen him since he arrived. Even Cherry begins to shine in his embrace. When the music stops, I think we’re all a little saddened to see the stress return so speedily to both of their faces.
Cherry snaps back into instructor mode and we spend the next two hours determined to get it right, like we’re rehearsing for a Broadway show.
We co-ordinate the dance with our vocals.
It starts with me singing solo then each of the Dollz joining in as they are swept onto the dance floor by their partners.
Ged and Liam stand back and watch the children while we perform the routine a final time so that they can see what we’ll all look and sound like on the day.
By the time the music fades, Ged and Liam are practically in tears with how brilliant we perform.
‘You guys,’ Ged says, choking slightly. ‘Thank you so much. I can’t wait to see my parents’ faces. They are such huge Whitney fans.’
‘Same,’ says Liam. ‘They’ll be blown away. Cherry, you’ve done a fantastic job of choreographing, as usual.’
When Dom gives her a proud look, she instantly blushes before hurriedly breaking eye contact to busy herself with the children. ‘Here, let me take them,’ he says. ‘I don’t want them to spoil your dress. You look beautiful in it.’
Cherry looks as though she’s choking on her words as he takes the girls’ messy hands in his and leads them away. ‘Sure. Okay. Thanks. Sure.’
Once we’ve cleared out of the ballroom to head back to our rooms and change out of our costumes, a flustered Cherry approaches Big Mand to see about adjusting her dress. There is a lot of nodding and hitching up of fabric until, eventually, they leave together.
I search for Liam. ‘He’s gone up to the room,’ whispers Ged, guiding me by the arm through to the bar area. ‘I need to run something by you.’
‘Sure,’ I say, delighted not to be faking a distraction. The ballroom is now completely empty for Matteo to check the film. ‘What’s up?’
‘It’s Louis. We love him.’
‘Okaaay.’
‘Do you think Matteo will help us adopt him?’
‘But you told me not to tell him.’
He frowns. ‘But he’s your husband.’
‘Yes, and you specifically told me not to tell him,’ I repeat.
‘But why are you keeping secrets from your husband? We just assumed… Well, now you can tell him because we also want Louis to be the ring bearer.’
‘The ring bearer?’
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ Ged murmurs.
I doubt it very much. I’m thinking, what a cheek, telling me not to tell Matteo but secretly assuming I would tell him because everyone and their dog knows that married couples shouldn’t have any secrets. Is this a bad omen? Have I jinxed our marriage by willingly keeping secrets from the get-go?
‘You’re thinking, where are we going to get an outfit for Louis to wear at such short notice?’ Ged continues.
I’m absolutely not.
‘So, we need you to ask Cherry. What do you think? Will she be able to make something for us? Will she be able to keep Louis a secret until the big day?’
I knit my brows together, pretending to think.
‘Hmmm. Let me see. Cherry, who has two feral children, one whom I suspect has a severe case of worms, a clapped-out husband who I suspect she has to micromanage while also being run ragged trying to do all of the choreography and dress alterations, and who is very clearly on the verge of a catastrophic meltdown… I’m not sure.
What do you think? Can she find a spare five minutes to design and make a wedding suit for a kidnapped puppy out of thin air?
’ My voice is almost a shriek. ‘Probably friggin’ not!
Use the internet like every bugger else on the planet! ’
Before Ged can answer he peers over my shoulder. Jules is filming us with a handheld camera.
OH. MY. EFFING. WORD.
‘Seriously?’ I wail. ‘Is nothing off limits? I thought this was a private conversation!’
‘It is. It is,’ says Ged hurriedly. ‘Or at least it can be. We’ll fix it in post, won’t we, Jules? We can delete footage in post-production, before anyone sees?’