Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Gideon padded into the kitchen. His wrists ached. His fingertips were sore. And his eyes needed moisture. But most importantly, his body needed food. Or better yet, cake.
It sat on the kitchen counter in a glass dish with a lid that someone had replaced crookedly. That was the kind of thing that drove Gideon crazy. His mom had been a neat freak. She’d hated clutter, and she’d passed that obsession onto Gideon.
It had helped him in his career. The ability to keep code organized both on the screen and in his head made his creative process less congested. It also helped him keep the memory of his mom close.
He lifted the lid and the scent of chocolate hit his nostrils. It was rich and it didn’t smell like the kind of cake that came from a box. Not that he knew how to tell the difference, but this one had that bakery quality.
"Don’t tell Wynn that this is my second helping," Kane said.
"Christ." Gideon jumped. "You scared me."
"Sorry." Kane sat at the long table with a plate, a fork, a massive piece of cake, and one hell of a smile.
"You know, Shepherd made this, from scratch.
" He waved the fork. "He said it was for the team.
" Kane carved off another bite. "Last time I checked, I'm on the team.
Even if I'm the one who can't do anything useful. "
"You're healing. That's useful." Gideon grabbed a plate from the cabinet and cut himself a generous slice. He'd eaten dinner. And then he’d had a second serving. His dad had always referred to him as the human garbage can, and that wasn’t too far from the truth.
He sat down across from Kane and dug in. His mom used to make him homemade chocolate cake with vanilla frosting every year on his birthday. It was the best cake ever. Nothing else came close. But Gideon had to admit the sugar swirling around in his mouth reminded him of home.
"How's the planning going?" Kane asked.
"We're as ready as we're going to be."
"That's not exactly a ringing endorsement."
"It's an honest one."
Zadie appeared in the doorway in bare feet and one of Gideon's shirts, which she'd started stealing without permission and he'd stopped caring about entirely. She spotted the cake, made a sound that was closer to worship than language, and went straight for the counter.
"God, I love Shepherd’s cake."
"Isn’t that supposed to be pie?" Kane laughed.
"I love that too, but no one in this bunker knows how to make that dish like my dad used to." She dropped into the chair beside Gideon, tucked one leg beneath her, and took a bite that left chocolate on her lower lip.
Gideon watched her tongue catch it. He could stare at her all night and never get bored.
"I’ve tried, and it ends up more like mashed mush with soggy corn and burnt meat." She took another bite, closed her eyes, and groaned. "Almost as good as sex."
Gideon coughed.
Kane chuckled as if he knew— which he probably did. There were no secrets in this place. And that, Gideon had to admit, was part of the charm. However, he didn't need that part of his life plastered on a billboard.
"How have you been feeling?" Zadie asked.
Kane set down his fork. "Darwin told me today I need more tests. Things he can't run here, so I’m going to need to go back to the spinal institute."
It seems you don’t enjoy going there," Gideon said.
"It’s not that." Kane dragged his thumb along the edge of his plate. "It means someone on the team has to drive me there and back. It means exposure, and I’m safer here. We’re all safer in this bunker."
"That may be true, but you need medical treatment, and Darwin can’t provide everything here." Zadie cocked her head and glared.
Kane pushed the plate forward an inch. "I don't want to be the reason someone else gets hurt."
Gideon rubbed the center of his chest. It had been a long time since he'd been at the center of anything he could describe as… family.
"We do what we have to do. If the tables were turned, you’d make that drive without blinking," Zadie said.
"Doesn't mean I have to like you doing it."
"I’ve always hated having people take care of me.
" Gideon polished off his last bite of cake.
As he swallowed, an image of his mother from when he'd been a small boy, rose in his mind. He’d been maybe six or seven and had fallen off his bicycle and scraped his knee.
He'd tried to be brave and take care of the cut himself.
But, there was nothing like having his mother wrap her arms around him and ruffle his hair.
This wasn't the same, however, the idea of having people in his corner was. "But the alternative means you have no one. I’m learning I’d rather deal with my pride being injured than being totally alone again."
"I agree," Kane said. "But that’s not going to stop me from complaining about it."
"Of course not." Zadie stood. She groaned and grabbed the edge of the table.
"Sit down. I’ll take care of those," Gideon said.
"I’m fine." She gathered the plates. "It’s good for me to move and stretch."
"Don’t overdo it." He’d learned that arguing with her was a waste of oxygen.
"I should get some sleep.” Kane moved toward the door. “Darwin's got me on a schedule that I'm fairly certain violates his Hippocratic oath."
"Goodnight," Gideon said.
Kane took his cane and hobbled down the corridor.
Zadie stood at the sink washing the dishes. "He's scared."
"I don’t blame him," Gideon said. "Darwin told me what happened. I know that’s his area of expertise, and that drug he put Kane on has done wonders for a lot of people, but I’d be freaking out over all the what ifs."
"Between being a ghost and feeling useless, he’s not sure what to do with himself."
Gideon stood and took her hand. "That’s a tough spot to be in, but he’s got all of you. That’s something." He kissed her cheek. "It's everything."
"We’d all be lost without each other."
"Let’s go to bed." He looped his arm around her waist. "My room?"
"As if you have to ask."
"I wouldn't dare presume," he said. "But I'd never say no."
Just as they rounded the corner to head down the corridor toward the bedrooms, Zadie abruptly stopped. She put her hand on his chest. "Oh my," she whispered.
Wynn scurried out of her bedroom in sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. She pushed open Darwin’s door, not bothering to knock. A second later, the door clicked shut.
Zadie grabbed his arm. "It's eleven-thirty at night and they went to bed hours ago."
"I’m aware."
"She just waltzed right in like he… like he… was expecting her." Zadie glanced up with wide eyes. "I need details. Do you think this is a first-time thing? Or has it been going on? Because if Wynn has been sneaking into Darwin's room and didn't tell me—"
"Or we could give them their privacy."
"Absolutely not." She pulled him down the corridor. "I hope she has to make a very embarrassing condom run with Scout. I hope Scout charges her a commentary fee. I hope there are follow-up questions."
"Darwin is personal friends with Gus. Gus runs this bunker through Shepherd." Gideon leaned against the wall opposite his door. "I'd bet money Shepherd keeps that kind of supply stocked."
Zadie's face went blank. "What?"
"Darwin thinks ahead. About everything. And I mean everything." Gideon chuckled. "You should see his meal planner."
"What are you saying?"
"Just that he’s probably the kind of man who has five conversations about sex before actually having it."
"Weird, but okay." She gasped. "Damn. That means there might have been condoms in this bunker the entire time."
"Maybe."
"And nobody told me." Her eyes narrowed. "Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to endure Scout's endless commentary about brand, color, and size preferences—"
"You don’t know how long she’s been sneaking into his room," Gideon said. "This could be the first night. And stop stressing over Scout. She does it because she knows it bothers you. Remember, she’s not buying them for herself. Just you, and Coulter’s got his own stash, so there’s that."
"I didn’t think about that. Poor Scout." Zadie tugged him toward his room. "I do hope Wynn and Darwin are spending the night together because they’re perfect for each other."
"Agreed." Gideon opened his door. He turned and she was right there. Closer than he expected. The lamplight caught her eyes and turned the brown to something deeper.
She rose on her toes and kissed him—softly at first. She threaded her fingers through his hair, and she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.
His hands squeezed her waist. He pulled back. Not far. Just enough to see her.
Her lips were flushed and her breathing jagged.
"What?" she whispered.
"I need to say something."
"If you tell me we should slow down, I will cause you physical harm. You should understand how serious I am from my willingness to cause bodily harm, given that I like you, and I don't want to hurt you."
He laughed. It came from somewhere deep and surprised him. "I'm not saying that."
"Then what?"
He took her face in his hands. He traced the line of her jaw, and she leaned into his palms.
"I've never had this." The words came out rough.
"I've had a few relationships. Months here.
Weeks there. Women who eventually got tired of waiting for me to show up in the ways that mattered.
I never blamed them. I was never all the way in.
I always had a foot out the door, because work was always more important. Always took priority."
Her hands dropped from his collar to his chest. Palms flat. Right over his heart.
"I don't have a foot out the door with you.
" He swallowed. "I don't even want to open the door.
I want this. I want you. Not just right now.
Not just while we're underground running missions.
After. When this is over. When the world gets quiet, and we're not stuck here anymore, I want to be standing next to you. "
Her lips parted, and she blinked.