Chapter 25 #3
Her phone vibrated, but not nearly as much as her shaking hands. Laurin’s own hands were full, but he wrapped the sweet-laden arm around her waist to ease the pressure on her wobbly knees.
“Go on, now. Check your phone.”
“Damn you,” she muttered, holding back tears only to ruin it with a sniffle.
Laurin kissed the corner of her eye. “Look at my phone as you check the message.”
She did even though she already knew what she’d see. She unlocked her phone and, as soon as she clicked to open the message, the bubble with her miniature picture dropped down next to his last text.
Laurin
I LOVE YOU.
“You don’t mean that,” she whispered. “You don’t know me.”
“Of course I do, bonbon. What do you think I was doing this last month when I was watching your old episodes?”
She tightened her lips, letting them swish back and forth while she debated how silly she’d look being truthful, but how bad could it be? “Learning your competition?”
Laurin laughed boldly and tossed the paper plate aside to scoop her up and spin her.
“Je t’aime, bonbon. Je t’aime tellement.
I was learning you. I was making sure that you were the person I wanted to fight for.
And you are.” He kissed her hard, leaning back so she had no choice but to fall into him.
And she kissed him back. She couldn’t help it.
But when she pulled back, he said, “I’m fighting for you, Candace. You’re going to win that competition — ah ah ah, don’t fight me on this — and I’m going to win you.”
“You’re crazy!” she protested breathlessly, but that only got his eyes twinkling and his grin flashing.
“Crazy in love. You will be, too. You’re not there yet, but you will be.” He leaned forward this time, dipping her in a swoon, kissing her more gently, savoring each one.
Lulling her.
And she was apparently one to be lulled, because by the time their lips parted again, she was clutching his shirt and craning forward for one last taste.
“Why did you leave me like that?”
She frowned and looked down to where she held him as though she wasn’t going to leave this time. As though she was scared that he would try to escape.
She shook her head, refusing to answer.
“I’m not going to be mad at you, no matter what you say.”
“I know,” she said, her voice weak. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He finally set her back on her feet, but only to hug her close, to rock her and rest her cheek on his chest. “I know why. And I understand. And I won’t be mad. But I need you to say it.”
She turned her head so his flannel could muffle her confession of, “I can’t give everything up for you.”
“What are you giving up for me?”
She reared back, scowling. Whether he was right or not, he didn’t need to call her out. “Look, I know my life seems pretty danged awful and-and-and maybe it is, but that doesn’t mean I have nothing—”
Laurin silenced her with a hard, quick kiss. “No, bonbon, I mean what have I asked you to give up? How could you possibly know what I want you to do when you won’t talk to me about what we can do?”
“Because what can we do? Your entire life is here, and it’s so much bigger than mine!”
“You’re practically a household name.”
“And that’s all I am is a name,” Candace said bitterly, no matter how hard she wanted to reign in her irritation.
It was no more Laurin’s fault that he was so deeply rooted here that there wasn’t an inch to bend than it was Candace’s fault she was little more than a kite with a string waiting to be pulled.
“It doesn’t matter how much we talk about it, because at the end of the day, you have everything and I have nothing.
There will never be a meeting in the middle.
I’ll just become . . .” She turned her gaze up to the trees above.
The leaves had fallen, the canopy leaving behind only the ugliest pines on the face of the earth.
She swallowed and said, “I’ll just become yours. ”
He closed the gap between them once again to stroke her cheek. “Would that really be so terrible? I could give you a happy life here.”
She flinched at that. Blood pounded in her ears. It was everything she ever wanted to hear, but all it did was trigger every warning bell within herself. “And then you’re going to leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“Everyone does.”
“I haven’t.”
“You will.”
“Candace. Bonbon.” He sighed and dropped down on one knee.
Her eyes went wide as she flailed her hands at him.
“Oh. Ha!” Laurin laughed nervously. “I’m not proposing.
I just thought I should be below you. Like, it seemed like I would be more trustworthy down here if .
. . well, now it doesn’t seem trustworthy at all,” he sighed.
“Spend Christmas with me and my family. Do you have any plans next week? Anywhere you need to be? I heard you were working in other bakeries this month. Are you going home to another one?”
Candace shook her head, feeling like she should ask how he knew that but knowing better than to waste what time they had.
“Then stay the week. Do Christmas with my family, pick up guest spots at the Food2Love offices or work in my bakery or just relax, take a vacation, and then do New Year's with me. I’ve got tickets to the aquarium.”
“Oh?” Candace said with a smirk, her adrenaline cooling back off as Laurin snaked his arms behind her knees and walked her up to him so he could rest his chin on her stomach. Yeah, maybe this position was a little better. “You already got the tickets? Who were you going to take?”
Laurin grunted. “Manon. Obviously. Did I tell you she’s staying until February now?
She’s driving me mad.” But he said it with a grin, proving he was really over the moon about his family being together.
“Stay the week. Give me that. Promise me a week, and I’ll promise I won’t leave, either.
We can start with that. That’s easy, right? ”
Candace eyed him shrewdly. “And then what?”
“And then you can leave if you want. Or you can stay, and I’ll promise you a week again. You can leave, and I’ll still promise you another week, if that’s what you want. We’ll figure it out. One week, Candace. You can leave me first, but give me one week.”
Candace rolled her head back to stare at the gray sky between the branches of the scrubby pine.
It sounded nice. Perfect. She’d long ago decided that her ex had never loved her and everything he’d ever said was to trick her into marrying him, and none of it had ever sounded this good.
Her throat felt dry as sandpaper as she said, “What if I can’t love you?
What if I’ve just been hurt too many times? ”
He straightened up with a pained grunt and started to say, “Now, I don’t believe—”
“Oh my god, your leg!” Candace cried out, rushing to his side to brace him. “Why would you kneel like that, Laurin?”
He laughed loudly, scooping her up so she had no choice but to throw her arms around his neck and lean into him as he carried her in the direction of the pavilion.
“I may not be able to play in the World Cup ever again, but I can kneel as well as anyone else. And you may not think you can love again, but I’d rather you try instead of just giving up. One week. A test run. A try-out.”
“You’re not going to give up, are you?”
“Nope.”
“And you’re not bothered by the fact that I haven’t said ‘I love you’ back?”
“Nope. I’ve worked a lot harder to get to know you. Now it’s your turn.”
She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. This did feel good. Very comfortable. A week wasn’t so big of a deal.
If she could fall in love at all, she could probably fall in love in a week.
And her brain was telling her that was a bad thing, but her heart? Her heart was thinking maybe it could survive one more break. Maybe it wouldn’t be broken at all.
“Have you talked to that guy?” she asked, attempting a casual conversation as she delayed the inevitable. A week wasn’t a huge commitment, but it was also her life. “The Spaniard?”
That had him pausing and frowning. “What are you talking about?”
“Caballero, the soccer player who fractured his tibia a couple weeks ago. You know him, right?”
He frowned. “Oh, I do, but we’re not close.” He brightened up a little. “Have you been watching football?” He said football firmly, like he was willing to fight her about it.
“Not really,” she said, grinning at his insistence, like he’d let her have almost anything but not the word soccer.
“But when you said you were having nightmares about it, I found an article about what just happened to Caballero, how they’re already predicting his career is over.
You should call him. If your positions were reversed and you had just been injured and he was the one who was having a good life after his career had ended, wouldn’t you want to hear from him? ”
“Have I told you yet today that you’re incredible?”