Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Candlelight shimmered softly in the darkness, making the atmosphere of the church feel magical as snowflakes fell gently outside the windows.
This time, the atmospheric choice was intentional, since the electricity was not off, but Roland and Nelly had decided that to have the entire service by candlelight would give a special feel to the entire thing, and enhance the holiday mood.
Plus, back when Jesus was born, whether it was in the winter or not, there definitely was not electricity.
Not that turning the lights out for one evening gave anyone the idea that they were similar to biblical times, but it lent a shimmer of authenticity to the Christmas program.
Roland had been instrumental in helping Nelly work through her pre-program jitters, joking with her, and easing her fears.
She didn't know why she always got nervous. It was up to the children to do well, not her. She couldn't force kids to learn their lines or parts.
Still, as co-directors, it all came back to Roland and her.
But she needn't have feared. Robert McBride, Roland's nephew, did an amazing job as Joseph, delivering his lines perfectly, and Nelly suspected that Roland had gone over them with him more than once.
Maryellen had also done an excellent job as Mary, and little Lilly shone as a silent angel.
Even though angels were all men in the Bible, American tradition seemed to typically cast them as female, and Lilly excelled in her role, looking angelic and sweet.
At the end of the play, Pastor got up and spoke a few words, just an invitation to the congregation, reminding them that the heavenly family always had room for one more who was willing to accept Jesus's finished work on the cross as atonement for their sins, and accept His free gift of salvation, which He offered to all who would believe.
It was the only way to heaven, since Jesus said He was the way, the truth, and the life, and no man came unto the father except through him.
It was a beautiful message, short, to the point, and a perfect end cap to a beautiful play.
The pastor emphasized the baby in the manger being God's gift to humankind, just as salvation was a gift, not something that could be earned or paid for.
It was also the reason that tradition had evolved for people to give gifts at Christmas time, in imitation of the gift that God had given to them.
Nelly had thought about the Secret Saint, and all the different things that she and Roland had done that season. They were all gifts, freely given. No payment expected or even wanted in return. That was what a gift was.
But, she supposed that she did enjoy seeing people appreciate her gift, and then, she appreciated even more seeing people use it wisely.
At the very end of the service, Pastor had gotten up and announced that the perpetrator of the stolen money had been caught.
He also said that she had expressed remorse, and asked for forgiveness.
Pastor said a few words about forgiveness, and how we were to forgive others as God had forgiven us.
It wasn't a large step from there to the fact that she had been granted forgiveness, and had said that she was going to be paying everything back.
Pastor had no sooner said that when Mrs. Tucker stood up.
"I can't sit here and allow Pastor to say that without admitting that it was me. I was the one who was stealing the money." A ripple went through the crowd, and Nelly stared at Mrs. Tucker. She had not expected this.
"I did say I was sorry. I did ask for forgiveness. I'm ashamed of what I did. And while I felt like I had reasons at the time, I offer no excuse." She swallowed hard, and Nelly knew this had to be exceptionally difficult for her.
"I wanted to publicly apologize to Roland McBride.
I had cast aspersions on his good name, knowing that his reputation was such that he probably would not be formally charged.
I also knew that he could probably shake it off, and I knew as well that there was no evidence that linked him to the crime, so he could not possibly be punished for it.
I thought I was doing a good thing by picking someone who could not be connected with a crime, but I realize that instead of allowing my good name to be soiled, I soiled his.
There's no excuse for that, and I'm sorry. "
The sanctuary was completely silent, as the echo of Mrs. Tucker's voice faded away.
Nelly for one couldn't contain her astonishment. She knew her mouth hung open, but she couldn't change it. Mrs. Tucker had apologized. She had done so in such a way as to make Roland look good, while making herself look bad. It took a very big person to do that.
And, from the look on her face, she didn't expect the congregation to offer forgiveness as much as they offered judgment and condemnation.
But, as Nelly continued to think about it, Mr. Johnson stood up in the back.
"I think everyone should have compassion on you, Mrs. Tucker.
You've been through a very difficult time, having lost your husband recently, and it never even occurred to me that money might be tight.
I'm sorry about that. I admire you for taking the blame, and making sure that everyone knows that Roland wasn't involved. "
Soon another man stood up and said basically the same thing. Until the entire congregation had not only stood up, but had started moving toward Mrs. Tucker, taking turns, hugging her, and telling her that it was okay. That they forgave her.
Nelly found herself swept up in the crowd, and even though she had already told Mrs. Tucker that she didn't hold it against her, she moved towards her, to give her another hug.
"What a brave woman you are," she said, when it was her turn to stand in front of Mrs. Tucker.
"Not brave. Forgiven. Redeemed. But still sinful."
It was a simple answer, but it was true for everyone. Nelly couldn't judge Mrs. Tucker, unless she wanted someone else to look at her life and judge her. She certainly wasn't perfect.
Her eyes swept the crowd, until she saw Roland standing with his mother, still waiting to talk to Mrs. Tucker.
He had been looking at her, and when their gazes met, he smiled.
There was no bitterness or anger on his face, and she knew that he had completely forgiven Mrs. Tucker. Especially after what they had agreed to do for her.
After tonight, Mrs. Tucker would find out that all of her debt had been paid, and if her son still moved in, the money he paid in rent would be extra income for her to supplement her small Social Security check.
The thought made Nelly smile wider, as Roland stepped up, and wrapped his arms around the older woman.
Maybe it was Nelly's imagination, but it seemed like Mrs. Tucker gave him an extra big hug.
"Congratulations on such a wonderful program. I believe that's the best Christmas program I've ever had the privilege of attending," Kelsey Trainer broke into Nelly's musings.
And before she knew it, she had a line of people waiting to talk to her and congratulate her.
She made sure that she told each of them that Roland had done just as much if not more than she had, because she could not take credit for the Christmas program herself.
Roland had definitely made a difference.
It was another hour until the sanctuary cleared out, with the last person speaking to her being Pastor, who had thanked her for taking the program on along with Roland.
He didn't realize how difficult that had been for her to begin with, and she was grateful that she had made the decision to say yes anyway.
Her life had changed over this Christmas season, and Roland was the reason.
As Pastor walked away, she realized that Roland had been standing to the side, although she didn't know for how long.
"You put on a good program," he said softly, as he strode to her, the candlelight still glittering in the windows and the sound of the congregation enjoying the refreshments downstairs drifting up as a muted, cheerful background noise.
"That's what everybody's been saying, and I keep saying the same thing: I couldn't have done it without you. You had just as much to do with it as I did, if not more."
"I don't know about that, but I'll definitely share in the credit."
She laughed at how he said it.
"But that's not really what I wanted to talk to you about," he said, as he finished closing the distance between them, and stopped in front of her.
As she had been talking to all the other people, she'd been slowly putting costumes and props away, as had he, and now, they stood at the front of the church, done for the evening, as she blinked.
"What did you want to talk to me about? Some Secret Saint activity we need to do tonight yet?" she asked, glancing around the sanctuary to make sure that they were alone. If they were going to be talking about the Secret Saint, she didn't want anyone overhearing them.
"No. I wanted to talk about how I feel about you." He grinned a bit, and tilted his head. "I'm not used to saying things like that. Or talking about how I feel."
"Okay," she said carefully. Was he saying what she thought he might be saying? Because she knew exactly how she felt about him, and she'd been thinking about telling him for a while.
Could he feel the same? Or maybe he just wanted to tell her what a great friend she was. The idea was a little discouraging. She didn't want to be a great friend. Although, that wasn't true. She did want to be a great friend. She just wanted to be more. So much more.
"I guess I could start at the very beginning, which is actually before that Valentine's Day when I said those things I didn't really mean, and started the whole thing."
"It was my fault. I didn't have to take it so badly, and hold onto it for so long."
"I'm trying to talk here," he said, grinning, humor in his tone.
"I'm sorry," she said, laughing.
"No. I was teasing you. Because this is hard, harder than it really should be.
I just wanted you to know that I think I'm falling in love with you.
I've enjoyed working with you, and... I didn't mean all of those things I said back then either.
I had a huge crush on you at the time, and I think that it's only gotten stronger. "
She held her breath. He seemed to be wanting to say one more thing.
"Nelly, I love you. I understand if you don't feel the same—"
"I do. I love you too! Everyone I talk to says that they thought our antagonism and competition was just that, me masking my feelings because I was secretly attracted to you.
And maybe it was. I know for sure that I've never worked with anyone I've gotten along better with, and not only do I love you, but I admire you, and how you handled things with Mrs. Tucker just confirmed everything I thought about you. "
Maybe she said more than she needed to, but he had been listening, drinking in her words like he was hanging on every syllable, and enjoyed hearing her.
"So... Would you like to spend Christmas at my house tomorrow?" he asked softly.
"I'd love to. Except... My gram." She was downstairs with the other ladies. From what Nelly had seen, she had been lucid all evening.
"Her too. Of course. My mom would love to have another lady her age there, maybe it will help take everyone's mind off of her, and help her as well."
"I'm sure her grandkids will help with that, but if you don't think anyone would mind?" She paused. "I'd love to spend Christmas with you." She'd love to spend the rest of her life with him.
As though he read her mind, he said, "I'd love to spend the rest of my Christmases with you.
I don't want to push too hard, but I'm not playing.
I am looking at a serious relationship that ends in marriage in the not too distant future.
Does that scare you?" he asked, and grinned a bit, almost as though he were afraid of her reaction.
"Far from scaring me. That makes me happy."
"Nice." He hesitated just a moment and then said, "It would make me happy to kiss you."
Her smile filled her face. "I was so upset when we got interrupted the other day while we were delivering gifts, and you passed up the perfect opportunity to kiss me. I thought that meant you didn't have feelings for me."
"I thought I was being a gentleman."
She laughed. "Maybe you were, but I think there are certain times in a woman's life where she doesn't want her man to act like a gentleman."
"I'm your man?" he asked, his head lowering towards hers.
"I think that's what we just established."
"Hmm." He said. "I thought we just established that I was going to kiss you."
The light shimmered, and laughter drifted up from downstairs, as he leaned closer and his lips settled on hers.
She couldn't think of a more romantic setting, and she couldn't think of a better outcome for the Christmas program.
And then she quit thinking, and just enjoyed the feel of his lips on hers, his hands on her back, the cords of his neck under her fingers, and a sweet spirit of Christmas swirling all around.