Chapter 5
Hollywood
Ruby dove into a box full of cords under the TV that I kept for some reason I was sure I’d discover someday. She yanked out a black cable, dragging three other cords with it. Visions of the child getting twisted up and strangling in half a dozen cords hit me.
“No, no.” I rushed over and took the cords from her, cramming them back into the box. “Not toys, Ruby.”
“Mine!” she insisted.
“No. Mine.”
She stamped her foot, tears welling up. Oh, damn it. I couldn’t handle the tears. Not that I could let her play with this tangle of cords, either. Dang it.
Ruby had fallen asleep in the car on the way back from the hospital and I’d put her on my bed with a pillow barrier for a while, but she’d woken up when Joyride delivered pullups, wipes, and a couple bags full of kiddie snacks.
She’d gotten a sort of strange second wind where she wouldn’t sit still. She roamed the apartment, grabbing anything and everything, making me aware that this place was a fucking hazard.
My flat-screen TV took up most of the wall, with about two feet of space between it and a coffee table that had sharp corners I’d never noticed before.
The couch took up the rest of the living room, with one end table that held a lamp made of old pipe and industrial gears.
I’d thought it was so cool when I found it at a craft fair, but now it just looked like a concussion waiting to happen.
I picked up the box of cords and sat them on the kitchen counter, then added the heavy lamp and the empty coffee cups cluttering the coffee table. “There. Maybe my apartment won’t injure you so much that your aunt kills me.”
Ruby followed me, still fussing over the cords, but as soon as we entered the kitchen, she got distracted by the cabinets. She yanked open the one under the sink and reached for the bottle of bleach.
“Nope!” I grabbed all the cleaning supplies, adding them to the counter as well. At this rate, I’d never be able to prepare food in here again.
Ruby was undaunted, moving on to the drawer next to the cabinet. She found dish towels and began hauling them all out. Fuck it. Towels couldn’t hurt her, at least.
How the fuck did Carrie do this alone? I’d had custody of Ruby for less than an hour and I was exhausted.
While Ruby was throwing a towel party, I went through my other cabinets, pulling out breakable casserole dishes and leaving the pans she could bang on harmlessly.
Out of counter space, I had to use the top of the stove and those tiny cabinets over the refrigerator to store things out of Ruby’s reach.
A knock came on the door.
“Come in!” I called.
The door opened and Tex leaned in. “Hey, I’ve got a bed and—whoa. It looks like a tornado went off in here.”
Ruby whirled, eyes wide when she saw Tex. “You!”
“Me,” he agreed with a grin. “How are you doing, girlie?”
She raised her arms in the universal sign of pick me up. She’d all but insisted I not pick her up ever since we got here. I wasn’t sure what made Tex different until she demanded throw.
“Apparently, you’re the carnival ride,” I said.
Tex obliged by tossing her in the air and catching her. “Not my first time.”
Ruby giggled. She already liked him way more than me. I collapsed onto my sofa. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Of course you can.” He opted to spin Ruby, rather than throw her, and she squealed. “You’re her dad.”
“I don’t know how to be a dad.”
“No one does,” Tex said. “It’s not like any parent has all the answers. You just do your best.”
I waved my arm. “Look at this place, though. It’s a death trap!”
Tex laughed as he settled Ruby on his hip, bouncing her enough to entertain her. “You just need to buy some childproof cabinet locks.”
“They make those?”
“Parents everywhere have the same problems, so yeah, they make all sorts of toddler-proofing items. I’d also get the little plastic plug-ins so she can’t try to shove something into an outlet and—”
“Oh god,” I exclaimed, looking at the nearest outlet.
“It’s just a precaution, but don’t let her get her hands on any silverware or something metal she might put in there.”
“I won’t,” I said, already doing a mental inventory of everything she could reach. I’d have to clear out another drawer to be safe.
“Also, a baby gate could be useful,” Tex said. “I doubt Ruby can climb one of those yet. Which brings me to the reason I’m here. I’ve got a toddler bed outside. She’s too old for a crib because she could climb out and fall, but this means she can get up whenever she wants.”
“Won’t be any worse than my bed, then. I just want her to have her own place to sleep.” I glanced around the room. “I guess we can shove the coffee table against the wall and put it here? There’s not enough room in my bedroom.”
“Sounds doable,” he said.
Ruby squirmed to get down, and as soon as she hit the floor, she zoomed back into the kitchen. Oh, damn, not again!
I whirled toward Tex. “You don’t know how to make her go to sleep, do you?”
He chuckled. “She’ll wear herself out eventually. She’s probably a little manic because she’s in a new place. It’s got to be confusing.”
“She cried for Carrie when she first woke up, and she refused to go back to sleep.”
Tex nodded. “It might be a rough night for you both.”
My face must have given away my dread because Tex came closer and clasped my shoulder. “Hey, I won’t leave until you’re ready, okay? I’ve got to bring in all this stuff and get it arranged. And if Ruby is still running wild, I’ll stay awhile.”
I blew out a breath. “I should be able to handle it.”
“It’s okay if you need a little help,” Tex said softly.
I should refuse his offer. I tried to call up the anger I’d been nursing for months, the resentment that he’d run away from the feelings between us, but I couldn’t find it. I was like a closet stuffed full of boxes, every label reading Ruby. There was no room for anything else.
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
A pan clattered loudly in the kitchen. I cringed. “Shit. Ruby.”
“Go get her,” he said. “I’ll start hauling stuff in.”
For the next thirty minutes, I ran interference with my daughter while Tex brought in a bed, a booster seat and potty chair, and a couple of bags of clothes.
Ruby had lost steam by then, and she clung to my leg at the entry to the living room, watching Tex wrangle the bed into position between the sofa and TV.
“Does that look familiar?” I asked her.
“Bed?” she said, sounding dubious.
“Yep.” I picked her up and walked over, giving her a closer view. “Ruby’s bed.”
I set her down on the bed. She patted the mattress, then got on hands and knees and crawled toward the head of the bed. “Ruby’s bedtime?”
“It sure is, sweetie. We just need to make the bed.”
“Not sure I’ve got sheets for it,” Tex said. “Do you have some we could just fold over and use?”
“Yeah.” I ran into my bedroom and dug out my only spare set of sheets. They were pale blue, rather than white, and slippery satin. But hopefully they’d do. I grabbed the blanket Ruby brought home from the hospital, too, and the little stuffed bunny that Aiden had picked up for her at the gift shop.
I handed the sheets to Tex and lifted Ruby off the bed. “Ready to go night-night?”
She laid her head on my shoulder. “Want Mama.”
I handed her the bunny. “We’ll see Mama tomorrow.”
“Want Mama now,” she insisted, squeezing the bunny to her chest.
My heart ached for her. This had to be so confusing for her. I should have let Kelly take her. She’d be in a familiar place with familiar people. It might have been less confusing for her. I was a stranger, for fuck’s sake.
“Stop spiraling,” Tex said, jolting me from my thoughts.
“How did you—”
“Because your eyebrows draw together and you look constipated.”
I snorted. “Real nice.”
“Don’t worry. You still look as gorgeous as ever,” he said playfully.
I opened my mouth and closed it again. What the fuck was that? Tex liked to tease me about being a pretty boy, but it had never come off as a genuine compliment before. Certainly, he’d never said anything that implied he found me attractive.
I’d had my suspicions. Very strong ones. Otherwise, I’d have never kissed him. His gaze had lingered on me and not just on my face. He’d made a lot of excuses to touch me, just small, casual touches, but they always lasted a fraction too long for a totally straight, uninterested guy.
But he’d made it clear after the kiss he didn’t want to acknowledge the attraction.
“C’mere, Ruby.” He lifted her out of my arms. “Check out your new digs.”
He’d wrapped the sheets around the mattress, ensuring they were snug. Ruby stroked the sheets. “Pretty.”
“They are pretty,” Tex said. “Perfect for a pretty Ruby.”
She hugged her bunny, eyes heavy. She’d been exhausted hours ago. The poor kid needed to sleep.
“I don’t have any other clothes for her,” I murmured.
“She can sleep in her T-shirt and diaper for tonight,” Tex said. “My sister sent clothes, but we probably need to wash them. They’ve been in the garage for a while.”
“Right. There’s a laundry room in the basement.”
He nodded to the garbage bags full of toddler clothes. “Why don’t you go throw some in. I’ll help Ruby get settled.”
I hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Unless you don’t want me to—”
“No. I just thought you might want to get out of here. It’s getting late.”
Tex shrugged. “I don’t have anywhere I need to be.”
My exhale was shaky. “Really?”
“Yeah, of course.”
A smile tugged at my lips. The lead anvil sitting on my heart shrank to the size of a large rock. It wasn’t gone, but it was a hell of a lot lighter. “Okay! Yeah. That’s great. I’ll be right back.”
I grabbed a bag of clothes and headed out the door and down the hallway to the stairs. I jogged down to the laundry room, still vibrating like a plucked guitar string. Tex would stay until I had a handle on things. He wouldn’t abandon me. Not this time, anyw—
No. I wasn’t going there. I needed Tex—and he was here. No reason to ruin that.
It was late, so all the washers and dryers were available. I started a load and headed back to the apartment. When I got there, the lights were off—only the glow of the TV illuminating the room. Tex had muted it.
He raised a finger to his lips and nodded toward the toddler bed.
Ruby lay on her belly, under the blanket, her little bunny pressed to her side. Tex had given her one of my pillows. Her breathing was deep and even.
“Asleep?” I whispered.
He nodded.
I gestured for him to follow me into the kitchen. I withdrew two beers, then I led him to my bedroom.
His eyebrows rose.
“I don’t want to wake Ruby,” I said quietly. “Not trying to seduce you.”
He smirked. “I know, Holly. It’s not really your style.”
What would he know about my style of seduction? Impulsively kissing a guy I wanted was hardly my usual method. My cheeks heated and I lifted my beer to take a drink.
“I hate this IPA shit,” Tex grumbled, but he lifted his bottle and gulped it down, his throat working with each swallow.
I tore my gaze from his throat and sank onto the end of the bed. “You think she’ll sleep through the night?”
“She tired herself out pretty good, but it’s hard to say. New place. New people.”
“Yeah. She might have been more comfortable with her family.”
“You are her family.” Tex sat down beside me and knocked his shoulder into mine.
“You know what I mean,” I mumbled.
“Do you want to be her dad?” he asked bluntly.
I jerked my head up. “Of course I do!”
“Then start acting like it. This is your chance to show everyone you can be the father she needs. This is your second chance, Holls. This is your redemption.”
“Right.” I took a breath. “You’re right. I have to prove myself.”
“Well, I didn’t say that,” Tex said, the contrarian bastard. “You’re her father, whether anyone likes it or not. You’ve got nothing to prove. But you can certainly show them they’ve all been wrong about you.”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
“And you’re not alone in this. You’ve got me.”
I looked over, trying to read his intention. How much help could he really be from Hayworth? Unless he meant he’d come back…
He averted his gaze, not meeting my eyes. “Knight and the guys too,” he said. “You know they’ll be here for you.”
“Knight wasn’t exactly jumping to help with Ruby at the hospital. He seemed out of his depth.”
Tex grinned. “Finally something he’s afraid of, huh?”
“Maybe a little, yeah. None of the guys seemed all that comfortable with her. Just you.”
“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Tex said.
I glanced at the clock and winced. It was after ten. “I’ve still got to move the laundry to the dryer, then wait on that cycle. It might be late by the time I finish. Do you mind staying a while longer?”
“It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just crash here if it’s cool with you. I can stretch out on the couch. Ruby might be restless, so this way, she won’t wake up and get into trouble without you knowing.”
My heart dropped. “Shit, I didn’t even consider that.”
“Lots of practice,” he reminded me.
“I can take the couch, though,” I said. “You can sleep in my bed.”
“Nah. You’re going to need your rest if you’re going to keep up with the munchkin.”
“If you’re sure…”
“Very sure.” He nudged me. “Go finish the laundry, Holls. I’m going to grab a shower and steal a pair of your underwear to sleep in.”
I turned toward the door to hide my face. Jesus. I had a toddler in my living room. The last thing I needed was to picture Tex naked and wet in my shower or pulling on a pair of my underwear over that sexy, muscular ass I couldn’t have.
“Extra towels are under the sink,” I choked out. “Be back in a few.”
I hurried for the door. I wasn’t sure I could hide my reaction if I actually witnessed the scenes playing out in my imagination.
“Sure,” Tex said easily. “Take your time.”