Chapter 22
Tex
“You ready?”
Hollywood leaned out the bathroom door, a cloud of steam escaping with him. “You can’t rush beauty.”
I chuckled. “Darlin’, are you saying your beauty isn’t all natural?”
He glared at me playfully. “Just watch your Wiggles with Ruby. I’ve seen you eyeing the purple guy.”
I snorted. That wasn’t even close to the truth. For one thing, The Wiggles were too annoying to be attractive. John Pearce was also nowhere close to Hollywood’s league, looks-wise, though I suppose once you removed the exaggerated facial expressions, he was pretty okay.
I had caught myself paying more attention to men lately, subtly waiting for that kick of attraction.
So far, it hadn’t happened with anyone but Holly.
I could appreciate that Joyride was a good-looking kid.
A little too good-looking to be spending so much time with my—with Hollywood.
Knight had a strong face and an edgy vibe that was kind of sexy.
At least until he started mother-henning over everyone.
I could see why Aiden jumped his bones, but I didn’t think I’d ever want to.
Hell, maybe I was just too gone over Hollywood to want anyone else that way. It wasn’t like I was feeling any sparks toward the women in my life, either, few as they were.
Hollywood emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, hair styled, face glowing pink from the humidity. He looked hot as hell in designer jeans, a dark blue shirt with pale blue cuffs and collar, and leather sneakers.
This is what he wore to the park? This man was ten miles out my league.
His phone rang as he came down the hall. He pulled it from his back pocket and made a face. “It’s my mom. I should take it real quick.”
“Okay, sure.”
While Hollywood took the call, I checked my phone for messages from Dad. He’d promised to pay me back for those plants as soon as the job was done.
I’d texted him a couple of days ago. He’d said there’d been a delay, but he was working on it. I fired off another quick message: ETA on getting me paid?
I waited, but there was no sign he’d seen it. I sighed and pocketed the phone. Holly perched on the sofa, phone in hand, looking like his conversation wasn’t going much better.
“We’re doing fine, Mom. I promise. Ruby is great.” His eyes sought me out. “I’ve got a…friend to help out.”
He didn’t seem to know how to label me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to call me, either. Though friend wasn’t hitting the spot all that great.
I sidled a little closer so I could hear his mother’s end of the call.
“I can’t believe she dumped that little girl on you after refusing to let you see her! I oughta call her and give her a piece of my mind.”
“No!” Holly said quickly. “I’m glad to get the chance to know Ruby. I wanted to take her.”
“But how are you managing? You can barely take care of yourself.”
“I do fine,” he said shortly.
I put a hand on his back, rubbing lightly. He glanced at me, his expression softening.
“I don’t understand why you stay in that piddly town. You could get a better job somewhere else.”
“You told me to clean up my own mess, remember?” Hollywood said. “That’s what I’m doing.”
“Yes, sweetie, and you’ve worked hard at it. I see that now. If you want some help…”
“No. I’m really okay, Mom.” He sighed. “I should get going, though. I’m taking Ruby to the park.”
“All right. I’ve got a conference call starting soon, anyway. Take care.”
She clicked off the call. Hollywood remained where he was, a frown creasing his forehead.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” His smile was small. “Since prison, things are just a little awkward between us. Our careers were mostly all we had in common, and now that’s gone.”
“Yeah, family is tricky,” I said, thinking of my father’s sudden appearance at the greenhouse. “We hate to disappoint them.”
“Yeah.”
“So you, uh, mentioned me to her. That I was here helping with Ruby. Does she know you’re bi?”
“Yeah, it’s old news with my parents, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure she thinks you’re only a friend.”
“Okay,” I said uncertainly.
He stood abruptly. “Let’s go. I need some air. Ruby, ready to hit the park?”
Ruby tore her eyes from the television. “Park! Yay!”
She wiggled down off the sofa and ran toward the door.
Hollywood wrangled her into a jacket, and I grabbed a bag that had a few things she might need: sippy cup of apple juice, some Goldfish crackers, and a spare pullup and outfit.
Ruby had been doing really well with potty training.
She wore the pullups mostly as a precaution at this point.
But she got her clothes filthy on the regular, so we had to be prepared.
We swung by Zacos to pick up some lunch—then Wendy’s to grab Ruby some chicken nuggets—and headed for a nearby park. Ruby had been to the Clover Leaf playground many times. Today, she could explore new ground.
When we got her out of the car, she took off at a run. She immediately fell. Hollywood made a wounded sound and hurried forward, but she popped right up and started running again.
We parked ourselves on a bench where we could keep an eye on her. She made a beeline for the play set in the center of the park. It included two plastic yellow slides, a little house with a window on the bottom, and a tunnel to crawl through.
I unloaded the Zacos bag.
“Should we make her come eat?” Hollywood asked.
“She’s too excited. Let her explore a little. We can call her over in a few minutes.”
He nodded. “Yeah, it would probably be mean to bring her to the park and make her wait to play.”
I handed him the veggie Zaco he’d chosen, and he unwrapped it. He took a big bite, eyes crinkling at the corners when he caught me watching him. “What? Do I have sauce on my mouth?” He brushed at the corner of his lips.
“Nah. If you did, I’d just lick it off.”
His eyes widened, and he glanced around, but there was no one nearby to overhear me. I’d clocked a couple of moms on benches on the other side of the swing set, and a bored-looking dad leaning against a tree while texting on his phone.
“It’s hard to believe you can make a veggie Zaco look so good,” I teased as I unwrapped my sausage-and-peppers one.
He rolled his eyes. “Because meat is so sexy?”
“You seem to like mine.”
He gave an embarrassed laugh. “Okay, apparently I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Oh, you can take me anywhere,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows.
Color rushed into his face again, and this time, it wasn’t embarrassment. It was a flush of arousal. I loved that I could do that to him.
The more we were together, the more my attraction to him grew. That wasn’t my usual experience when dating. But hell, I wasn’t really dating Hollywood, was I? This was something else. Something far more intimate. I was living with him, sharing a bed every night, cooking meals for him.
I wanted to be with him all the time. Even when he annoyed me by leaving breadcrumbs next to the toaster and kicking off his shoes in the middle of the room. Even when he took way too long to get ready and made me feel like a slob by comparison.
Ruby zipped down the slide and came rushing up to us. Hollywood pulled out her food. “Hungry?”
She snatched the chicken nugget he held in his hand and shoved the whole thing into her mouth.
“Smaller bites, Ruby!”
She turned to run, but I caught her arm. “Chew first, girlie. Then play.”
She made a disgruntled noise at being restrained, but she chomped and swallowed. I let go, and she was back to the races.
Hollywood shook his head. “Ridiculous girl. Her food will be cold if she keeps it up.”
“I don’t think she’ll care.”
“Probably not.” His lips curled. “God, I love that girl.”
“Yeah, me too.”
His gaze slid over to me. “Do you? She’s not your daughter. I appreciate everything you’re doing to help, but—”
“Of course I do. I love”—both of you—“her,” I choked out.
“Sorry.” He frowned. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You didn’t. I just…” I worked my jaw, trying to pull up the words. “I’m not here out of obligation. I want to be here. You know that, right?”
He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, I do. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
The urge to lean in and kiss him pulsed through me. I nearly did it, to hell with anyone who might be watching. What was I hiding from, anyway? The only people I knew in Riverton would be fully onboard with me being bi.
“Aw, so cute.” A mother pushing a stroller paused next to the bench. “Which one is yours?”
I tensed up. Hollywood glanced over with a smile, having no idea that I’d nearly kissed him right in front of a suburban mother. “The little redhead on the slide.”
“She’s adorable! That’s my boy over on the swings. He’s a little terror.”
Hollywood laughed with her. “They keep us on our toes.”
“They sure do.” She gestured to the stroller. “This is my little angel, Chrissy. At least until naptime. Then she’ll raise hell.”
We both laughed at that. The baby was happy under her canopy as she sucked vigorously on a pacifier. Her blue eyes were bright, and she looked around as if the world was a huge treat, every sight fascinating.
Everything was new and exciting to her. I glanced sidelong at Hollywood. He was the reason I could say I was still finding new excitement so many years later. He’d shaken me out of my stale existence into something scary but thrilling.
“How long have you two been together? You make a great couple.”
The mother’s words jolted me out of my thoughts. My gaze flew to Hollywood’s.
He gave an awkward laugh. “Oh, no, we’re just friends.”
“Oh. Shoot. I’m sorr—”
“Ruby’s mom was in a car accident.”
“Oh, no. I’m so sorry!”
“She’s okay. She’s recovering in rehab. I’m on my own with Ruby until she’s better.”
“Well, she’s lucky to have you,” she said, glancing toward the swings. “Tommy! No!” She turned and pushed the stroller across the park. “Don’t throw dirt at other kids!”
We sat in silence, our food half-eaten and mostly forgotten between us.
“Sorry,” Hollywood said.
“Why did you do that?” I asked, my voice coming out sharper than I intended.
“Do what?”
“You let her think you’re still with Carrie.”
“No, I—”
“Do you want to go back to Carrie?” I demanded. “What am I saying? Of course you do. She’s Ruby’s mom, and I’m just the guy helping you out.”
“Tex, no!” Holly’s eyes were wide. “Carrie and I don’t want that. We won’t ever want that again.”
“Not even if it makes Ruby’s family whole?” I challenged.
I didn’t know why I was advocating for something I didn’t want to happen. My heart was racing and my palms had grown clammy.
“Ruby’s family is whole,” Hollywood shot back. “She has me. She has Carrie. And she has you. Weren’t you just saying you loved her?”
“I do.”
“Okay, then. What’s the problem?”
“You let that mom think you’re still with Carrie,” I said weakly, losing a grasp on what had set me off.
“Yeah, because you’re in the closet. I can’t let her think we’re together.” He blinked hard. “Don’t you think I’d rather tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, Tex? But I can’t. Not until you’re ready.”
“Maybe I am.”
He gave me a searching look. There was hope, but also fear, in his gaze. “Are you?” he whispered.
“I want to be.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
I cupped his face and gently kissed him. He gasped, lips parting. This was a park full of children, so I couldn’t kiss him like I really wanted.
“I don’t want to be your friend, Hendrix,” I murmured into his ear. “Not to your mother, and to some random person in the park.”
“What do you want to be?”
I licked my lips, suddenly nervous. It was one thing to think it. But to say it took courage. There would be no going back. I drew a breath. “I want to be your boyfriend. Even though boyfriend sounds kind of silly. But use whatever word you want, Holls. I want to be yours. That’s the point.”
“Oh my god,” he whispered, eyes full of wonder. “You’re sure? What about when Ruby goes back to Carrie and it’s just me?”
I gave him a searing look. “Then we’ll make good use of our free time by having sex all over the house. Every room. Every hour of the day.”
He lowered his eyes. “Sex. Right.”
There was something about the way he said it, the slight hint of disappointment that made me realize I wasn’t getting this right.
I put a finger under his chin, raising his face to look into his eyes.
“No, it’s not just the sex, darlin’. I want to do this right, okay?
I want to take you on a date. I know we’ve done everything backward and out of order, so it’s confusing.
Let’s start over.” I cleared my throat. “Hendrix, will you go out with me?”
He gave a startled little laugh. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. We’ll need a babysitter, though.”
“Consider it done,” Hollywood said, beaming. “I know a few guys who would be happy to do it.”
My stomach flipped at the thought of telling the rest of the guys. If we did this, my feelings for Hollywood wouldn’t be secret anymore. Everyone would know.
I waited for the panic, the nausea that used to rise whenever I thought of it. But it didn’t come. The guys would all be happy for us. They probably had their suspicions anyway with how quickly I’d moved in to help Hollywood.
I’d wanted him from the moment I’d seen him in that hospital looking overwhelmed.
No, even before that.
Ever since that first intoxicating kiss he pressed on me.
I had run because it was too good. Too inevitable. Because I’d still been afraid to accept the love in my heart.
It seemed silly now. To run from the man I wanted so badly. To fear someone who could make me so happy.
Two someones, really. Though I didn’t know Hollywood would have Ruby. I was damn glad he did, though. She’d brought us together.
She ran up with a happy squeal. Snagged another chicken nugget and said, with her mouth full, “Sing?”
She hadn’t quite mastered S blends, but it was easy enough to know what she meant when she pointed toward the swings.
“All right. Chew and swallow.” Hollywood stood and scooped her up. “Let’s go swing.”
I watched him carry Ruby. My two favorite people.
I smiled as I packed up the remnants of our lunch. To hell with what anyone else thought. This was my family now, and I could no longer pretend they weren’t my whole world.