Chapter 34 One leads to nirvana and the other to wonderland.
One leads to nirvana and the other to wonderland.
Sean
“WHERE ARE WE going?” Josie asks as I zoom out of the parking lot.
“We can go anywhere you want.”
“How about your place?”
I press my lips together. “Seamus is there, remember?”
“I’d like to meet Seamus.”
I shake my head. “You don’t want to meet Seamus.”
“I just said I did.” She shifts sideways in the seat so she’s facing me. “And then, after that, I’d like to do… other things.”
I’d like to do other things, too, so I give her a sideways grin and start heading to my place. When we arrive, I glance around for Seamus while Josie admires the opulent marble foyer. Her gaze follows the length of first the left-hand spiral staircase then the right.
“One leads to nirvana and the other to wonderland,” I joke.
“At least the backstage area of wonderland,” Seamus says. “Have you not been here before, love?”
Shiteballs. Where did he come from? He leans against the doorjamb to the kitchen, clothes hanging loose on him, legs crossed at the ankle like the cartoon version of a lazy aristocrat.
He shakes the Stanley in his hand the way a person does when they are checking liquid levels. I’m guessing that’s not water in there.
“First time,” Josie replies. “I’m Josie. You must be Seamus.”
“Great!” I clap my hands in a bid to end this before it starts. “Introductions are done. Josie, let’s go upstairs.”
“Pardon my brother’s disrespectfulness,” Seamus interrupts in a slithery voice. “I’m sure he meant to give you a tour of this lovely estate before hurrying you off to bed.”
I wince and point behind Seamus. “That’s the kitchen and the west wing.” I point ahead of us. “That’s the patio area.” I point to the right. “That’s the living room. Upstairs are my rooms.”
“Don’t forget to show her all the rooms,” Seamus says, sipping from his cup, “including the locked one.”
Josie raises an eyebrow at me.
I’m going to beat my brother into a pulp. “It’s for privacy.”
“Privacy. Right.” Seamus raises his cup with a smarmy grin, as if to toast my reply. “Josie, darling, whatever do you see in this oddball brother of mine?”
“I like how caring he is,” Josie replies without hesitation, her gaze sharp. “Especially when it comes to his family.”
That’s sweet, but Seamus doesn’t let it derail him. “He’s not too much for you? Because he can be too much. Him and his secrets.”
“Good night, Seamus!” I butt in, swooping Josie away and heading for the left-hand stairs.
“What’s he talking about?” Josie asks as we climb. “What locked room? What secrets?”
“Nothing. I told you he was an arse.”
Once upstairs, I head left, toward my bedroom ensuite, but Josie peels away from me and wanders right, down the long hallway, her gaze falling on each of the closed doors there.
Dammit, Seamus!
“This way, if you don’t mind,” I say, gesturing to my rooms with as much nonchalance as I can muster.
“I’d love that tour your brother mentioned.” She gives me an unreadable look as she approaches the first door, her hand falling to the knob. When I don’t protest, she throws open the door to my home gym and peers inside. “Wow, it looks like LA Fitness in here!”
My heart thuds. My cosplay room is two doors away.
“C’mere to me.” I keep my voice playful. “All the best rooms are over here.”
She ignores me and moves on to the second door. It’s the library.
“We can read together later.” I’m trying so hard to stay blasé, but I really don’t want her to try door number three.
She walks backward, away from me, her expression wary, and places a hand on the third door handle. It’s different from all the others—silver and industrial-strength with a keypad on it. A necessary precaution in a house that hosts a lot of parties.
When the door doesn’t open, her jaw drops in faux surprise. “Locked.”
Bloody hell.
“What’s in here, Sean?” She presses her ear to the door. “I don’t hear any unhappy kidnap victims or secret babies crying.”
She’s joking, but I can see the discomfort in her body language. This looks weird, I know it does. I scratch my nose. “It’s… storage.”
“I’d really love to see your storage.” She steps away from the door and smiles at me. It’s a weak smile. A test.
My heart is pounding. It feels like I’ve got snakes in my arteries. I have to open the door, don’t I? I mean, it’ll look even weirder if I don’t.
“Sean?” she says.
“Josie,” I reply.
She narrows her eyes. “Can you please open this door?”
I don’t know how to answer that. I can open it.
By that I mean, I’m physically capable of doing it.
But if I do, Josie will see the side of me nobody but my family knows about—the infatuated, obsessive Seanny Boy, opposite of the larger-than-life Captain Footwork.
I’ll never be able to explain that hoard of costumes and accessories because that’s what it is: a hoard.
I’m a cosplay hoarder. A weirdo, off the rails, lowbrow, cosplay hoarder with an illegal hat to boot, and there’s nothing attractive about that.
Then she’ll see the rest of the truth—that weird doesn’t usually stay in its lane. It usually spills over to other things.
“Josie,” I say again, the word laden with pleading, with desperation, with The Force, although that’s never actually worked for me.
Now her eyes flash with determination and a little bit of fear, which crushes me. “Sean, open it.”
She’s not backing down. What the hell am I going to do?
“Okay.” I saunter her way as slowly as possible.
Shit, shit, shit! How am I going to control this narrative?
She steps aside as I position myself in front of the keypad.
My brain is cycling so quickly that I’m having trouble remembering the code.
I type the numbers in wrong, and the door chastises me with a red light and a warning buzz.
“Sorry.” I shoot her a glance. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gone in here to look at my… storage.”
She presses her lips together. “Try again.”
So, this is happening. Is the George Washington hat out where she can see it?
Yes, it is. Will she recognize it? It’s been all over the news.
Or maybe she’ll be so distracted and horrified by the towering mountains of shameless costumery and nerdiness that she won’t even notice it.
One thing’s for sure, whatever we had, it’s over now.
She’ll see the true weirdness hiding behind my eccentric persona.
And then she’ll wonder if my obsessions extend further than that.
If they might extend to her, just like my brother’s did with Kokoro. Like mine did with Melody Winkman.
Maybe it’s better this way. If I really am as bad as my brother, she can get out now.
A second buzzing noise breaks the silence, and I flinch. I didn’t even put any numbers in yet! But it’s not the knob. The sound is different. A notification. Josie tugs her phone out of her purse and reads the text.
Her expression crumbles. “Oh no.”