Chapter 29 Grant
My Wife
Just checking in.
I’ve been in my head since Friday’s dinner and haven’t talked to Taylor since before I left the office. As much as I try, I can’t get my mother’s words out of my head. It’s been two days, and while it feels like I’m losing a limb by not talking to her, she hasn’t reached out either until now.
It does nothing to assuage the doubts swirling in my head.
Is she checking in because she misses me and is making sure I’m okay?
Or is she checking in because of the fight Chase and Miller got into last night?
So far, it seems to be chalked up to standard trash talk and a tense series between two competitive teams.
I’m hoping it stays that way.
My Wife
Are you still coming home tomorrow?
That has to mean something, right?
ME
Yes, I’ll be home midafternoon.
My Wife
Can’t wait
Before I can respond, another text comes in from my brother.
NATHANIEL
Let’s meet for lunch.
ME
Why?
NATHANIEL
We should talk after how you left things Friday
ME
Fine.
NATHANIEL
See you in an hour.
I finish a few tasks before deciding to walk over to the restaurant early, needing the air to clear my head.
“Teresa, I’m going out for lunch today.” I pocket my phone and wallet as I stop at her desk in our Manhattan office.
She glances up, confused since I don’t have a lunch meeting on the calendar. “Okay, do you need reservations?”
“Meeting Nathaniel.”
Her brows shoot up. “Do I need to call with an emergency in thirty minutes?”
Chuckling, I say, “I’ll let you know.”
The sun is warm on my face when I exit the high-rise, but the air has a briskness to it as summer fades to fall.
I take a few deep breaths, attempting the meditative practice I’ve watched Taylor do.
A last-minute lunch with my brother isn’t inherently bad, but after Friday night, I have a feeling it won’t be great.
I walk into our favorite restaurant, and the hostess directs me to the table.
“What a surprise,” I bemoan at the sight of Carter sitting with Nathaniel.
Carter holds up his hands. “I was going to reach out, but Nathaniel told me he already did, so I’m just crashing lunch to chat.”
“Don’t automatically think the worst of us,” Nathaniel grunts.
“You don’t have the best track record.” I remind him and order a drink from the server.
“So Taylor’s back,” Carter starts it off.
“She is.”
“And how did that happen?” Nathaniel asks.
“Taylor is friends with some of my staff and the players. She’s been helping with Chase Bennett’s image rehabilitation after getting arrested in July.”
Nathaniel tilts his head. “But she owns her own agency, right? She doesn’t work for your company.”
“She doesn’t. I asked if she would help.”
“Why?” Carter picks up the menu in front of him.
“Because she has the experience we needed to handle the situation expeditiously and with sensitivity.”
“You also have those people at Stella,” Nathaniel offers.
“She’s familiar with the team and inserted herself in the situation already.”
“Sounds like her. Bulldozing her way in.” Carter smiles. Of all my siblings, he was the nicest and closest with Taylor, but that’s not saying a lot after how everything went down.
“I also—” I pause, swiping a hand through my hair, debating whether to give them my truth. “Gah, I also just wanted to be near her. See her more than every once in a while from a distance.”
I tell them the whole story—of the phone call three years ago, the wedding last year, everything up until now. I lay it all out there for them, confiding in my brothers like we used to when we were younger.
“Jesus, Grant. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Nathaniel asks.
“Gee, I don’t know. We’re not exactly sitting in a circle singing kumbaya on the weekends,” I deadpan.
“That’s fair. We haven’t been great when it comes to you and Taylor in the past and it really fucked up our relationship, but we want to be there for you.”
“Nathaniel is right. We know we messed up. We’re here trying to make amends. We’re just worried about you.”
“Worried about me?”
The server interrupts and takes our orders. When they walk away, Nathaniel picks up where Carter left off. “You lose your head where Taylor Baker is concerned. I mean what has she said about why she just up and left ten years ago? Did she even explain it to you?”
“No.”
“Has she at least said she wants to be with you?” Carter volleys back.
“Not exactly.”
Has she? I’ve basically told her that I want to be with her.
That I’ve been waiting for her to come back to me, but has she done the same?
I recall our conversation the morning after the dugout.
She asked why I really moved to Nashville, but when I got serious about her being where she was meant to be, she shut it down and pushed me between her legs.
“Are you dating? Hooking up?” I shift uncomfortably at Nathaniel’s question.
“You fucked, didn’t you?” Carter whisper-hisses at me.
I drop my head back on a groan. “Yes. We messed around once. And then we fucked before I came here.”
“How was it?” Carter’s face splits with a wide grin.
“Angry. I was frustrated because she’d been avoiding me after the first hook up.”
“See.” Nathaniel points at me. “That’s what I’m talking about. You’re all in, but she’s not giving you the same.”
“It’s not like that,” I argue.
“Then what is it like? It doesn’t sound like you’ve talked it out or that she’s given you any type of emotional commitment since you’ve been doing whatever it is you’re doing.
Is she even staying in Nashville? Doesn’t she travel a lot for work?
She has a home base here, right? So why didn’t she come to New York with you? Have you been talking since you left?”
He hurls the questions at me in quick succession and they each hit as intended.
All creating an armor of doubt inside me.
Taylor shut down when I mentioned my family and coming to New York.
I’ve taken care of her when she was sick.
I’ve cooked for her and made her a priority over everything else since she started working with us in July.
I pushed off coming to Stella to spend more time with her.
I think about her all the time and pine after her like a lovesick fool and meanwhile she avoids me after being physical.
At some point, I have to give what my brothers are saying some credence, because so far, I’ve gotten nothing but broken rules and promises from Taylor.
This is why I didn’t want to have sex with her.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to come back from it if I gave her that one last thing, but as it’s always been when it comes to her.
Taylor Baker brings me to my knees and I’m helpless but to worship at her feet for whatever crumbs she’s willing to toss my way.