Chapter 11 #2
Does that make her off-limits?
This urge comes over me that I need to talk to her.
And it needs to happen tonight.
I haven’t had a sip of alcohol tonight, but my judgment is a cloudy mess.
Which perfectly describes my life. I’ve just been a string of fuck-ups, one after another.
Which has me wondering if my pull to bring baseball into Bluestone Lakes is driven by my need to fix all the things I’ve screwed up. Baseball has brought a lot of good into my life, but it’s also been the reason a lot of other things in my life have crumbled.
If I do this, I would be setting a team up for the town to have long after I leave.
But it would also give me a reason to come back here every so often.
Maybe to see Poppy.
But what would I do if I came back here in a few months and she had a boyfriend? How would that make me feel? My fists tighten around my steering wheel because I can’t stand the thought of that. Not that I have a right to feel this way.
After questioning myself if she’s off-limits or not, I realized that whatever chemistry I felt with Poppy needs to stay stuffed down.
These thoughts I’ve been having need to get the fuck out of my head to avoid issues for Sage at school.
The one thing I don’t want to screw up any more than I already have is Sage.
When I turn onto my street, I realize the radio has been off the entire ride home, and the quiet hits me hard.
Sage fell asleep almost immediately after putting her in the car.
It feels like the world is holding its breath with me when I slow down and stare at Poppy’s house as I drive by.
Her porch light casts a yellow glow, begging me to step up and knock on the door to make things feel normal again.
Begging me to clear the air and get ahead of any weird feelings.
Begging me to lay my eyes on her again.
Pulling into my driveway, I throw the car into park. I inhale and exhale before letting the freezing air hit my lungs. I stand there, staring across the yard at her place as my breath makes a cloud of smoke in front of me. I should talk to her tonight. Otherwise, I won’t be getting any sleep.
Picking Sage up, she barely stirs when I bring her inside. It was a struggle to keep her awake long enough to brush her teeth. But she did it and had her eyes closed again the minute her head hit the pillow.
Staring down at my daughter, I brush her hair away from her face and lean in to press a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, bug.”
Pacing my living room, I question if I should go and talk to Poppy quickly. I check the camera app on my phone to make sure it’s connected in case Sage wakes up and needs me. I don’t plan to be gone long, and will be right outside the house.
Making my way across the yard, my stomach swirls, and my palms feel sweaty as I step onto her porch. Her house is the complete opposite of mine. It resembles a cottage-style house with white siding, a white picket fence, and a colorful assortment of floral baskets hanging under the front window.
Lifting my hand to knock, I pause.
Just knock. Don’t make this weird.
Maybe this is a bad idea? I shouldn’t be here right now. I should leave and go home. I don’t need to talk to her, get to know her, or smooth things over. I step back, staring at her door again before turning on my heel and retreating down the steps.
“Dallas?” Poppy says, forcing me to turn around quickly. I didn’t even hear the door open. “Are you okay?”
I’m stuck where I stand on the little walkway leading to the street, and I swear the air just jumped twenty degrees.
She’s only wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a sweatshirt that’s about three sizes too large on her, but I barely register the words out of her mouth because I’m taken aback by how stunning this woman is.
“Dallas?”
My name from her lips again snaps me from my trance. “Yeah?”
She steps out of her house and onto the porch, closing the door behind her. The light makes her look like an angel in the night. Fuck my life. “Is Sage okay?”
My eyes fall to the grass as I walk back to her porch, staying on the walkway but close enough to converse with her.
My heart hammers in my chest at her asking about my daughter.
When I gaze back at her, Poppy has her arms crossed over her chest before leaning on the porch railing.
I knew this was a terrible idea. I should never have walked over here in the first place, because seeing her again only makes the reason I’m here harder to ignore.
“Is everything okay?” she repeats.
“I wanted to talk about our meeting at the school.”
She remains silent, as if she wants me to continue.
I clear my throat, and my nerves spike. “I don’t want things to be awkward for us. We shared a drink and I had a really good time, only to learn you’re Sage’s teacher. The last thing I want is for things to be…well, awkward.”
She still says nothing, just continues watching me with curious eyes.
“I came here to keep things simple. I guess I wanted to ensure we’re on the same page. But now that I’m standing here, outside your house, I can’t stop thinking about how this would be a hell of a lot easier if you weren’t…you.”
She stands straighter, lips slightly parted as if I’d surprised her.
Fuck, I surprised myself, too.
It feels like minutes have passed, eyes locked on each other, while my racing heart doesn’t let up for one second. My palms feel even more clammy than before, and even with the chill in the air, there may be sweat on my eyebrows.
“I…I mean. I’m just. We can’t. I’m Sage’s teacher, and I’m…” she fumbles over her words before her voice trails off as if she wants to say something but can’t bring herself to say it.
“A professional?” I raise an eyebrow.
“That too.” She blushes, turning her face to the side to avoid eye contact.
I nod repeatedly, choosing not to press her about what she wanted to say but didn’t. Instead, I offer a comforting smile. Something that’s not hard to fight back when she’s around, as her presence could bring even the strongest man to his knees.
The only thing I’ve learned from walking over here is that I’m weak for her, even though she clearly stated that I barely know her. I recognize that I’m weak for my neighbor—for my daughter’s teacher. I’m weak for her, knowing that I will be leaving.
I retreat a few steps backward but don’t take my eyes off her. Ready to say precisely what I was thinking before even deciding to try to dull the flame by coming over here. It wasn’t my intention, but seeing her, I can’t help myself.
“Just so we’re clear, Poppy,” I murmur, keeping my gaze locked on hers. “I still haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day I moved here. And every single thought I’ve had is very unprofessional.”
She sucks in a breath before I wink and turn on my heel to head back to my house.
Poppy Barlow is the most unexpected thing to show up in my life. And damn if I don’t want to explore it more.
So much for keeping it stuffed down.