Chapter One #3
Cassie swallowed. There he was again, popping up in conversation.
She wondered if Raf was also planning to help her parents-in-law move out of their home.
They looked on him almost as another son since those childhood holidays stretching back to their teenage years.
She touched her forehead, trying to smooth away the nagging headache.
Not that she could escape him in London either.
Raf lived in his dad’s London flat now the band had finally split.
He was also spending more time with Pippa and Gil in Hartfell, and according to Rory, the Norfolk cottage where he went alone to write songs had been empty for a few weeks.
‘It’s in your case, in the car,’ she replied. ‘I washed it last night so you could bring it.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’ Rory grinned as he came over and Cassie wrapped her arms around her son, some of her tension slipping away as she held him. He let go and, at the door, turned to look at her again.
‘Did you get Raf’s message? He said he’d rung you twice but hadn’t heard back.’
‘I did, yes.’ She caught sight of her phone on the bed and turned it over.
She’d had enough of looking at that selfie, the four of them beaming into the camera, arms around one another.
She wondered what could be so urgent that Raf had involved Rory.
‘I’ve been busy getting ready for our time away and just forgot to ring him back.
’ It was mostly true. She had been distracted.
‘Seriously?’ Rory pursed his lips in the way she was so familiar with.
‘Maybe he wants to come to Granny and Grandpa’s with us?
It would be pointless to take two cars if we only need one.
He might bring his bike so we can go out.
’ Diagnosed as dyslexic when he was seven, he’d always been a problem solver and able to see the bigger picture.
Rory’s explanation was perfectly reasonable, and six months ago she would have said yes to Raf and been grateful for the offer to share a long drive. ‘I don’t think so, darling. I’m sure Raf will have other plans, and he won’t want to hang around to bring us back.’
‘You always say that now. I know he’d take us home if we wanted.
Why are you being so weird about him?’ Rory frowned and Cassie couldn’t look at him lest the truth about that night in Australia and her guilt was splattered all over her face.
‘How do you know what he’s planning if you haven’t asked him?
I think he’d love to come with us to Galloway, and I bet Granny and Grandpa would appreciate the extra help.
I’ll message him now.’ Rory reached for his phone in a pocket of his cargo shorts.
‘No, Rory!’ She smiled to soften the sharpness, seeing surprise flare in her son’s face.
‘And I’m not being weird. We don’t want to put Raf under any pressure to help with the move.
You know his plans often change, and he comes and goes as he pleases.
He might be going to Norfolk, and that’s hardly en route to London from Galloway. ’
‘He’s not. I messaged him about my bike, and he told me he was at the flat.
’ Rory always seemed to know Raf’s movements, and he checked in with her children regularly, took them out for pizza, to a movie or a gig.
Anything he thought they might like and would make them happy.
She totally appreciated it and was grateful for his support, even if some days she felt as though she was trying not to topple from a tightrope, balancing her children’s happiness against the mistake she’d made in Australia.
Commitment, except to his music, had never been a concept Raf was familiar with, and she clung to his desire to roam as though her own life depended on it.
He hadn’t shown any inclination to make a permanent home with a partner, and his last girlfriend had been a stunning Swedish journalist from whom he’d split last summer.
If he was seeing anyone else, Cassie knew nothing of it.
But why should she? she reasoned, as Rory shuttered his disappointment and closed the door behind him.
Raf had no reason to share his private life with her.
They were friends, old ones, and he made a huge difference in her children’s lives.
There wasn’t, and there never could be, anything more.
She crossed the landing to freshen up in the bathroom, a pale reflection staring back from the mirror above the sink.
Some days it seemed she wore their bereavement on her face too, dark circles beneath her eyes evidence of disturbed sleep.
Her brunette hair used to be longer, but now she wore it in a layered choppy bob skimming her jaw.
The caramel- and honey-coloured highlights were different too, and occasionally she worried that she didn’t now fully resemble the woman Ewan had known and loved.
Back downstairs she helped carry food and drinks into the garden.
Pippa sent Gil to the stables in search of the girls while Rory played with the dogs on the lawn, dodging the huge tent set up for the teenagers as there wasn’t enough room in the house for everyone.
Cassie felt clumsy with nerves over meeting Jago, sloshing a jug of juice on the wooden table.
She tried not to wonder what he would make of her.
Not that it mattered, but perhaps the lunch might help her dust off some very rusty flirting skills.
Cassie was distracted by the view, a moment of calm following.
A cool, damp few days had made way for glorious sunshine, and pretty white clumps of blossom were scattered across hawthorn trees like blobs of ice cream.
Hay meadows were flourishing, speckled with bright yellow rattle and the soft pink of red campion.
Purple foxgloves and nodding white cow parsley lined the meadow beyond the garden, and lambs in the field further on were already plump from milk enriched by lush spring grass, leaping in the air as their mothers grazed.
Soon the three adults were assembled around the old wooden table, a dark green parasol blotting out some of the heat.
The teenagers had been excused from sitting with them and loaded their plates with flatbreads topped with mounds of creamy hummus and roasted vegetables.
Jago was due any minute, and Cassie’s eyes flickered occasionally to the gate across the garden.
Chatting with Gil, she noticed Rory’s face light up in welcome at the sound of car doors slamming.
Her head whipped around, surprised by his reaction for a stranger.
The plate she held wobbled as she spotted Raf on the drive, and her stomach dropped in the way she had come to expect around him now.
Her breath hitched as he stared back, the distance between them shrinking as a flush crept along her throat.
Her shocked gaze leapt to the beautiful blonde woman at his side, and the tentative smile on Cassie’s lips died.
She hastily put down her plate, the food swimming in front of her.