Chapter Fourteen #2
Their canapé plates already cleared, Sasha returned with their first course proper, which he explained was roasted scallop served with radish, cucumber sauce, a hint of green chilli and finished with cumin.
The wine accompaniment was a Reisling from the Columbia Valley in the United States, chosen to offset the scallops’ natural sweetness.
Conversation became simpler as they moved through the menu and wine flight, chatting about the distillery, family and the village.
Nothing about the end of summer and Cassie’s return to London to begin studying for a new career.
When they had feasted on lobster, salt-aged duck and lemon sole, she leant back with a sigh.
‘That was incredible. If we didn’t still have strawberry and chocolate courses to come, I don’t think I could eat another thing.’ Even the wine hadn’t been enough to dull her senses, heightened every single time her gaze met Raf’s across the table.
‘Me neither.’ He toyed with the almost-empty glass in his hand, long fingers tapping a lazy beat against the crystal. ‘How was your lunch with Jago? It’s been a busy week, and I haven’t seen much of you.’
Raf had been at the distillery or studying online most days.
Some nights, lying alone in bed, she’d heard faint music from his studio, guitar chords echoing along the corridor.
She hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid him, but she hadn’t sought him out, either.
It had helped, not seeing him, with the longing she constantly tried to suppress.
‘Oh, that.’ Last Saturday already seemed an age ago, and her mind ran over the lunch she’d shared with Jago at the gallery. ‘It was fine.’
‘Fine?’
‘Yes. Pleasant. But I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.’
‘Oh?’
She hadn’t shared the full details with Pippa in case they had any bearing on her best friend’s professional relationship with Jago.
Pippa had been only too happy to hear that Cassie and Jago were meeting, and in the debrief which followed, Cassie had said that they were both busy and it had helped her realise she wasn’t ready to date anyone new yet.
It was a version of the truth, and another lesson in not altering relationships from their origins lest anyone be forced to choose later on.
‘I think he felt sorry for me,’ she said eventually.
She picked up her wine glass and put it down again when she realised it was empty.
She didn’t have to share this with Raf either, but she worried that the fault lay entirely with her and she had little to offer anyone else in the future.
Perhaps it wasn’t fair to compare a stranger’s scant knowledge of her life with the man sat opposite, when they had known each other for so long.
So why couldn’t she revert Raf to what he had been to her before and allow a return of some peace of mind?
‘He felt sorry for you,’ he asked incredulously. ‘Because of Ewan?’
‘No, not that. I got the impression he thought he was doing me a favour by suggesting lunch. That maybe because I’m a widow, my life is quite empty, and he could help liven things up a bit.
He managed to turn every question into an anecdote about himself, where he had been, who he knew,’ Cassie replied quietly.
‘He’s been divorced twice and I know that’s hardly a red flag, but he did seem to lay the blame squarely with his ex-wives because they apparently couldn’t cope with his success.
He made sure to tell me which of the great and the good collects his work, and he ended with asking if I’d be interested in acting as his publicist. Not that he really sees the point of one, given his success, but they have their uses, and as I was currently at a loose end and on my own… ’
She tailed off. It felt disloyal to Pippa, even saying the words out loud.
Raf swore furiously and she looked up in alarm.
His eyes had darkened with a danger she had rarely seen.
‘Promise me you won’t tell Pippa?’ she said hastily.
‘He didn’t do anything inappropriate or threatening.
He’s just obsessed with himself and he’s hardly alone in that.
Underneath he’s probably very lonely. I thought maybe it was me.
I’m so out of practice at these things.’
‘Do you want me to go round and bash one of his bloody sculptures into smithereens? Worst case I have to pay Pippa for it. It’d be worth it just to see his face, smug bastard,’ Raf said angrily.
‘I knew there was something off about him. And it’s totally not you.
You’re amazing and he’s a fool if he can’t see it. ’
Cassie laughed, holding his compliment close.
Telling Raf had made those sixty awkward minutes seem much less significant.
‘Please don’t. Pippa was so happy after the launch and I’m not about to spoil it for her.
It’s not like he’s going to be around that much, and I’ve deleted him from my contacts. ’
‘I’m glad to hear it. And if he ever bothers you again, I’ll…’
‘I can manage him, Raf. I’ve come across far worse in my career,’ she told him softly. ‘Would you really do that for me? Bash one of his sculptures?’
‘Dead right I would.’ Raf drained his glass and a wicked smile followed. ‘And I’d love every single minute.’
‘You’re very bad.’ Somehow that came out much huskier than she’d intended. She saw the reply flare at once in his eyes as they narrowed, and he laughed softly.
‘You have no idea,’ he murmured. That tone, those few words, his look, were more than enough to ignite every nerve ending and a swift kick of desire landed in her stomach. She watched as he touched the napkin to his lips.
‘You’ve missed a bit.’ A golden teardrop of wine was caught on his mouth and suddenly she couldn’t take her eyes off it.
‘Seriously? What am I, five?’ He quirked a brow, that lazy smile lingering. ‘You do it. I might miss again.’
‘Me!’
‘Yep. You.’ He tugged the napkin from her grasp and dropped it out of reach.
Her breath caught at this new game, eyes locked on his bottomless brown ones, and she knew, then.
That whatever they told each other about remaining friends and nurturing an affectionate relationship for the sake of her children and their families, they had blown it right out of the water with one single kiss eight months ago.
That night in Australia, her desire and her feelings for him had hit her without warning, and whenever he was near, it was almost impossible to think of anything else.
She wanted to repeat that kiss over and over.
And he knew it. Every look, every touch on her body, told her he wanted the same.
Her finger trembled as she touched it to the corner of his mouth, heard his sharp intake of breath as she caught the teardrop.
Without her napkin she had no alternative and her lips parted to lick the wine from her finger.
His stare never left hers and Cassie didn’t think her pulse had ever pounded so hard in her life.
The door behind them opened and she leant back so quickly her chair rocked as Sasha appeared.
She tried to absorb everything he was imparting about their first dessert course and the accompanying wine, but his words were a blur, her mind stuck on those last few moments alone with Raf.
‘Cass, there’s something you should know before Pippa finds out and lets it slip.’ Sasha had left, and Raf’s spoon was poised above a caramel and chocolate tart so delicate and beautifully presented she almost thought it would be a shame to eat it.
‘I had a drink with Allegra at the pub today. I was already there to meet with Kenny and the timing worked, that’s all.’ The playfulness from before had vanished and Cassie was poised for bad news. ‘I’ve made an offer on the house, and I heard this afternoon that it was accepted.’
‘Raf, that’s amazing,’ she exclaimed. ‘How brilliant, I’m so pleased for you.’ Whatever their own future held, it was a thrill to think of him remaining in the house she had come to think of as a home from home. ‘Have you told Flynn? I’m sure he’ll be over the moon to find out you’re staying.’
‘Not yet,’ he replied drily. ‘I wanted you to be the first to know.’
‘Well, that’s nice, thank you. Congratulations. Pippa will be delighted.’
‘Yeah. But how do you feel about it?’
‘Raf, much as I love the idea of you staying in Hartfell if it makes you happy, it doesn’t change anything for me or the children,’ she said quietly. ‘We have to go home at the end of summer. But maybe we can stay for the occasional holiday or weekend. Isla and Rory would love that. As friends.’
‘Is that what you think we are?’
Cassie didn’t have the chance to reply as their second dessert course appeared, followed by coffee and a tempting tray of perfect petit fours.
Then Henry, the chef patron, arrived, and Raf assured him that the tasting menu had been superb, and he and his business partners were definitely interested in working with the hotel.
She was pleased to have brought the two together and added her own suggestions to future plans.
So there was no reason to feel sad that she wouldn’t be around to follow the partnership to its fruition and offer help in the future, when she would be back in London.
The intimacy of the conversation with Raf was lost when they were taken on a tour of the wine cellar and the spa.
She wished she could immerse herself in the bubble pool and let the water do its work to smooth away all her worries over the future and how she felt about Raf.
Their driver returned, and as the car took them home through the darkness, the silence was charged with an atmosphere she recognised.
In so many ways, this evening had felt like a date, and she refused his suggestion of a drink in favour of escaping to her room.
Something had shifted between them again, and she would confront her feelings once his birthday celebrations were over and she’d had more time to think.