Chapter Sixteen
After that conversation with Raf, Cassie moved through the next week on autopilot as the children’s holiday in Italy approached.
She had coffee with Pippa at the gallery, debriefing his birthday and burning up every time she thought of those few moments alone with him in the kitchen.
She cleaned for Fiona and Gordon, cooked meals for their freezer to help lighten their load, and swam in the river with the Wednesday walking group.
She walked Flynn and wrote her journal, trying to disguise her exhilaration and the sense that she was on the brink of another life-changing decision.
Raf was polite and friendly, and she found excuses for things she needed to do if Isla and Rory weren’t home.
Their own excitement about Italy was building, with Jas arriving on Friday afternoon, ready for the flight on Saturday.
Jas brought another level of energy to the house, and Isla and Rory couldn’t wait to show her around.
Cassie did her best to disguise her anxiety over the children travelling without her, but she trusted Jas and knew she would take good care of them.
The next morning Isla and Rory wanted Raf to come with them to the airport.
Once Cassie had seen them safely checked in, she wandered back to the car with him in a daze.
For the first time in her life after Ewan, the children were away without her, and she felt a bit lost. Maybe the sense of freedom would kick in later.
She and Raf watched a movie in the evening, no sense of intimacy or awkwardness as they sat through Rain Man.
She’d invited Fiona and Gordon over for lunch on Sunday as Pippa and Gil were taking Harriet, Joel and Luca to meet friends of Gil’s.
They ate on the terrace, and afterwards she was in the kitchen, supposedly making coffee, when Fiona found her staring blankly through the window.
‘Are you all right?’ Fiona touched a hand to her shoulder and Cassie spun around. ‘I know you’re worried about Isla and Rory, but they’ll have a blast, and Jas is perfectly capable.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said automatically, waking up the coffee machine again. ‘I know you’re right, but there’s still that stupid voice reminding me of all the ways it could go wrong.’
‘Believe me, that voice never quite goes away, no matter how old they are.’ They shared an understanding smile. ‘And you’re only a couple of hours away in the very unlikely event of them actually needing you. It’s a mum thing, but please, try not to worry.’
‘I will, thanks.’ She may as well try and stop breathing, but the sentiment was the right one. ‘Coffee will be ready in a minute.’
‘I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is everything all right between you and Raf?’
Cassie nearly dropped the espresso mug she’d been holding. She shoved it in place as the coffee machine went to work. Oh hell, she should have known Fiona would notice. ‘Of course it is. Why would you think otherwise?’
‘I’m not sure, you just seem… a little tense, I suppose. As does he. There are a lot of things that aren’t my business, and I simply want to know that you’re both okay.’
‘We’re fine,’ Cassie assured her. ‘Really, we are. I’m distracted about the children, that’s all, but it’ll pass. I didn’t sleep that well last night.’
‘And you’re certain there’s nothing else worrying you, something I can help with?’
She longed to confess, but she could never do that, not to her mother-in-law.
To share this secret she carried and have Fiona tell her that it was wrong to feel the way she did about a man she’d known most of her life and had never thought of in the way she did now.
Fingers trembling around the cup of espresso, she set it on a tray.
‘Nothing else,’ she said firmly. ‘Why don’t you join the others, and I’ll bring the coffees in a minute.’
‘Before you do…’ Fiona hesitated. ‘I promise we’re not ganging up on you, but I spoke with Pippa this morning and we thought it would do you the world of good to get away and have a complete rest while Isla and Rory are on holiday.’
‘Away?’ Cassie’s brows shot up as she stared at Fiona before she managed a laugh.
Until this summer her life had been built around her family and her career, and she was still getting used to not working full time, her body adjusting to a new rhythm.
‘But I am away, I’m here. And I don’t need a rest. I’m fine. ’
‘I disagree,’ Fiona replied in a tone that Cassie recognised. ‘Pippa’s already had a word with Jonny, and the house in Majorca is free. There’s a flight tomorrow and we made an executive decision and booked two seats.’
‘A flight? To Majorca? Why would I go there?’ She laughed again, because the suggestion was crazy and ridiculous and… ‘What do you mean, seats? Is Pippa coming with me?’
‘No, Raf is. Pippa rang him and he agrees the rest would be good for you.’
‘But he never said!’ Cassie’s chest felt tight, the pulse in her throat pounding.
Her mind raced to the old Mediterranean house Pippa’s dad had owned since his children were young, where they’d all retreated over the years.
How could she be there with Raf, swimming in the pool, lounging in the heat of the day and those long, still nights.
He’d tried to speak with her earlier and she’d put him off, making some excuse about being busy with the lunch.
‘Absolutely not. Besides, there’s you and Gordon to consider.
I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on you. ’
‘No arguments.’ Fiona held up a hand. ‘Pippa and Gil will look after Flynn. Plus the last time I checked, Gordon and I were a pair of reasonably fit and capable sixty-somethings who are more in the habit of keeping an eye on other people rather than needing my delightful daughter-in-law to watch over us. So please go while you can, it will do you good. You can fly to Italy from Majorca just as easily as you can from here if you have to.’
‘Fiona, it’s…’ Cassie was wavering, searching for a reason to refute all arguments and anchor herself to this house, where it was easier to avoid Raf than in a sunlit villa high in the hills above the Majorcan coast. ‘I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or be cross. Don’t I get any say in this?’
‘It is, my darling, a done deal. I’ll even drive you to the airport myself. Now let’s have our coffee and then we’ll leave you to pack.’
The flight on Monday afternoon was uneventful, other than Cassie alternating between anxiety at Isla and Rory being away and spending the next five days alone in a villa with Raf.
They would be flying back on Saturday, due to land a few hours before the children, and she’d already decided the weekend couldn’t come soon enough.
Before they’d left she’d tried to persuade Pippa to abandon the plan as well, but her best friend was having none of it; she and Fiona had united against her.
Only Cassie, and no doubt Raf, understood the next few days were likely to do nothing whatsoever for her wellbeing.
She’d loathed saying goodbye to Flynn, promising she’d walk him again just as soon as she was home.
Harriet had promised to send regular updates, but Cassie didn’t dare think about the end of the summer when she would have to leave him behind for good.
There hadn’t been time to buy any clothes suitable for a few days in the Med and have them delivered before they’d left.
Almost everything she’d brought from home had been with a Yorkshire summer, not a Mediterranean one, in mind.
She’d picked up a few things at the airport, focusing on reading by the pool all day and not stripping down to a swimsuit with Raf around.
A car was waiting when they retrieved their bags, and despite her reservations, outside she was transfixed by a cornflower-blue sky and the heat seeping into her body, staring at dry and rocky mountains dusted with green.
Traffic and tourists were plentiful as they skirted the city and headed northwest towards a harbour town close to the villa.
She was utterly conscious of Raf at her side, his suntanned legs bared by cargo shorts, the growing silence punctuated with casual comments as he pointed out local landmarks.
He’d assured her he planned to work much as usual while they were away, continuing with his online training course.
So at least he would have that to keep him busy.
She’d forgotten how dazzling the house was, and as the driver approached it, a pair of rustic wooden gates slid open.
Nestled amongst evergreen hedges and colourful planting, stately olive trees bordered a gravel drive leading to a terracotta stone building, welcoming and warm, cream shutters framing every window above more olive trees in pots, dark green against hot-pink rock roses planted between them.
High stone walls enclosed the boundaries, the hillside beyond dotted with trees and rocky crags.
The heat hit her again as they got out of the cool interior of the car, and she turned her face up to the sun to enjoy it for a moment.
‘Ready to go inside? It’ll be cooler on the terrace.’ The driver had retrieved their bags, and Raf thanked him.
So this was it. They were alone here, with this incredible hideaway all to themselves, and she had no idea how she was going to manage for five days. And those sultry Mediterranean nights.
‘I’d love to.’ The nervous note in her reply suggested something other than the casual comment she’d been aiming for, and she cleared her throat.
Raf stood back so she could enter the cool white hallway, and her exclamation was one of pure pleasure.
Oak and wicker furniture was rustic and simple, and she recognised two of Pippa’s paintings on the walls.
A formal sitting room was to her right, with a pair of white sofas scattered with blue cushions.
Ahead two glass doors opened onto the gleaming kitchen, a corridor to the left.