10. Dogs and Teenagers
”It has to be a sign.The universe wants you to give him a chance.”
”It”s not a sign. And I”m not giving him a chance. The universe is reminding me why I hate Salt Lake and can”t wait to get out of here.” I glance over at the phone where I”m FaceTiming Em. ”Cute scrubs, by the way.”
Before I look back at the road, I see her shake her head. ”Don”t change the subject.”
”I”m just pointing out that whoever bought those for you must have amazing taste.” She”s wearing the pale blue scrubs with cartoon puppies and kittens I bought for her birthday.
”Except when it comes to men. You do remember Tyler, right?”
I wish I didn”t. ”I remember Tyler, and that”s why I”m done dating. Never again.”
Em shakes her head, looking like a disappointed first-grade teacher. ”Girl, you learned the exact wrong lesson from that.”
What I learned is that I can never trust anyone else. No matter how often someone tells me they”ll always be there. No matter how many times they tell me that my past doesn”t matter or their friends’ reactions don”t matter. It will always be me against everyone else. Except Emory. She”s the only person left I can count on. ”Em, I just need to focus on my job and nothing else. That way I can get through this year and get back to Denver, where my closest friend misses me dearly.”
”I”m your only friend.”
I flick on my turn signal and wink at her before looking back at the road. ”And therefore my closest.”
”And this whole thing where you think you have to live there for a year. It”s so unnecessary. You just—wait. Are you driving? Lil, please tell me you aren”t FaceTiming me while you”re driving.”
”It”s fine.” I wave her off when I finish making my turn. ”It”s not like I”m on the highway or anything.” At least not anymore. I exited that a couple of minutes ago.
”Lily! That”s so dangerous! I”m hanging up now. Love you. Next time, wait and call when it”s safe.”
”I”m almost there, so I need to go anyway. Love you, Em.” She disconnects just as I pull up to the curb in front of the old brown house. There”s just enough breeze today to make the rainbow flag ripple.
I haven”t been able to stop thinking about Chloe since I brought the casseroles to the shelter the other day. I keep thinking that I would have been in the same situation if it weren”t for Dad. A trans teenaged girl with no one. There”s no way I could have lived with Mom. Not once I saw what she really thought of me. So, over the weekend, I texted Michael and asked if I could spend time with Chloe. He gave her my number, and we”ve been texting back and forth since. Looking forward to this was the only thing that got me through the day once I discovered I”d be forced to work with Brant until the season ends.
Chloe runs out the front door before I even get up the steps to the porch. ”I”m ready. Let”s go.” I look her over. She”s wearing a pair of worn brown boots that come up past her ankles, shorts, a tank top with a sweatshirt wrapped around her waist, and a ball cap pulled low on her head. Under the bill of her hat, she”s wearing more makeup than I would wear if I were going on a date. Silver is on a leash, but as closely as he sticks to her, I”m sure he would be fine without it.
”In a rush? Let me talk to Michael first and make sure this is still okay.”
”It is. I talked to him earlier.”
I rest my hands on my hips and stare at her. ”What did you do?”
She does her best to act shocked that I would even ask her the question. ”Nothing. I just love nature so much, I can”t wait to get out and be all in it.”
”Mm-hmm. Well, you can wait two more minutes while I say hi.”
”No, it”s fine. I?—”
”Chloe!” Michael calls out from inside, and she cringes. It”s so cute I have to fight back my urge to laugh.
”I think we should both go in and see Michael. Don”t you?” I ask. She huffs out a breath and follows me as I walk inside. ”Michael? It”s Lily. Chloe is here with me.”
She mutters ”snitch” under her breath, and when I turn, she gives me the fakest smile I”ve ever seen.
Michael rounds the corner and pops a hand on his hip. ”Chloe, if I didn”t know better, I would think you were dashing off before you cleaned up your mess.”
”But it”s not my mess. It”s Silver”s.”
”And who was staring at herself in the bathroom mirror for the last half hour while Silver dropped pieces of chewed up toy all over the house?”
Chloe gives a little stomp. Thanks to her boots, it sounds way more forceful than it really is. ”I was doing my makeup. I had to get ready.” Michael cocks his head to the side and quirks his eyebrows. ”Fine. Whatever. I”ll clean when I get back, okay?”
Michael doesn”t move.
”Why don”t we both do it before we go? I”ll help,” I say. ”Sound good?”
”Not really… I mean, yes.” She lowers her head in defeat and lets go of Silver”s leash as she walks further into the house. I follow behind her and see why Michael is upset. There are pieces of stuffing and pink fur all over the bedroom and kitchen floors.
”Is this Silver”s lion plushie?” I ask as I bend over to pick up something that could have been a paw. Or a nose. I can”t really tell.
Chloe grumbles like she”s just been forced to dig a well by hand in one-hundred-degree heat. ”Yeah, it”s his Roary. Things got a little out of hand when we played tug of war earlier. Then he wouldn”t stop chewing Roary once he won.”
This is beyond chewing. There are professional assassins who can”t dismember a body as well as what Silver did to Roary. I look over at him. He”s lying beside Chloe. His front paws are together and his head is resting on them as he innocently looks up at me. His eyes are so wide, I see the whites underneath them. How do dogs and teenagers always know how to put on the most innocent faces? ”Is there a vacuum? You get the big pieces, and I”ll suck up the small ones. Okay?”
She just looks at me and nods. Michael, though, steps closer. ”You really don”t have to do that,” he says. ”Her dog made the mess, so it”s her responsibility.”
”Honestly, I don”t mind. Plus, I stopped after work and got us each a triple chocolate cookie from Ruby Snap. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can eat those.”
Beside me, Chloe gasps and breathes out a ”yes!” as she kicks into high gear. Between the two of us, it takes only a few minutes before there”s not a trace left of poor Roary. And after we both say our goodbyes to Michael, we head out to my car. Silver doesn”t hesitate before hopping into the backseat. I wondered earlier if taking him for a ride in a strange car with a strange driver is a mistake, but he sits right down and stares out the window. His wet nose leaving trails on the glass.
”Is Silver good in cars?” I ask as I buckle up.
Chloe rolls her shoulders. ”Dunno. First time he”s been in one since I got him.”
”How did you get him?” I turn the radio on low as I pull away from the curb in case she doesn”t want to talk about it. I realize now that I know almost nothing about this girl”s past. Just because I see myself in her doesn”t mean that she”s the same as me. Maybe her family had a reason to—I stop myself before I even finish the thought. There is no reason in the world for a family to give up on their fifteen-year-old child. But I know from first-hand experience that doesn”t stop some of them.
”He kinda found me. You know Silver”s Bar on 700 South? I slept behind the building for a few nights when I first came to town. One morning when I woke up, he was curled against me, and he hasn”t left me since.”
I don”t know if the story is more heart-breaking or heart-warming. ”Why sleep behind the bar? There”s a hostel just a couple of blocks away. You didn”t even have enough money for that?”
She twists in her seat to face me. ”Maybe a couple nights. But I couldn”t. I didn”t know how they would react to me being... you know.”
I do know. Hanging a rainbow flag and even having a non-discrimination policy are good signs, but it doesn”t mean that a place is truly safe. And that must be even more so for a fifteen-year-old who has nowhere to go. ”Yeah. So, Silver because you found him behind the bar?”
”Because he found me there.”
I nod and keep driving. It doesn”t take long before we get to the park. There are dozens of people around us, jogging or walking their dogs or just lying on the grass. Chloe holds Silver”s leash tight as we walk to the lakeside pavilion. Then she ties it around the leg of a picnic table. ”You know, when you said we were going to a park, I expected something a little more...” She waves her hand, searching for the right word.
”You expected a hike? I noticed you”re overdressed for a trip to Sugar House Park.”
”Back home, parks are a little more rugged.”
”Where are you from?”
She takes Silver”s head in her hands, and I”m not sure if I should have asked. ”The southwest. Well, as far southwest as you can get in Utah, at least.”
”What the old people call Dixie?”
Chloe rolls her eyes. ”I hate that. My family still calls it that. And they all brag about how long the family”s been there. Like that means something. I was supposed to be proud that I was the seventh generation. They”re so dumb.”
When I was growing up, Dad would tell me that we were direct descendants of the original pioneers who founded Salt Lake. He was so proud. So many of the decorations in his house were tied to that history, from the old maps and pictures in his bedroom to the paintings and bookends in the living room. He couldn”t understand why I didn”t care about any of it, but it just didn”t mean anything to me. What did mean something to me, though, was the love he held for it. When it was time to choose my name, I knew what it had to be. He cried when I told him. I joked that he loved the name more than he loved me. But we both laughed as we hugged. Neither of us had a doubt about how much he loved me. I just wish I had made sure he knew how much I loved him.
”Hey. You alright?” Chloe puts her hand over mine, and I use my other one to wipe away my tears.
I”m not, but I better get used to it, because I don”t think I”ll ever be alright again. ”That lipstick looks really pretty on you.”
”Thanks.” She smiles, and so do I, grateful it was so easy to change the subject.