31. The Undisputed Worst Thing in the World
Beingat Brant”s is the undisputed worst thing in the world. Except maybe for pollution. And disease and poverty and authoritarian governments. But this is definitely up there. He seriously wanted to carry me into his house even though I have a new pair of perfectly good crutches and one-and-three-quarters legs. If I hadn”t speared him in the gut with the end of one of the crutches, I”m sure he would have actually done it.
As soon as we got inside, he herded me to the sofa, lifted my right leg onto the cushion, and put every extra pillow in the house—which is exactly one because he”s a guy—under my foot to elevate it. Then he asked me if I needed anything, and rather than letting me answer, he went through a list of options longer than The Cheesecake Factory”s menu. Then he started to take off my freaking left shoe, like having a sprained ankle has rendered me physically unable to untie a shoelace on my good foot. I tried telling him I could get it, but he persisted. So I gave in and sat there like a two-year-old and let him take off my shoe. Although, maybe I was sort of acting like a two-year-old when I kicked at him.
Now, it”s half an hour later, and on the end table next to me, I have a bottle of diet coke, a sandwich I”ve taken two bites from, and the crumbs from a cookie that might be the most delicious thing I”ve ever eaten. Silver keeps looking at the sandwich, hoping I”ll divert my attention for the one-third of a second he needs to snatch it, but every time he shifts, I stare at him to let him know I”m on to him. Oh, and on my other side is Brant, who looks at my ankle every ninety seconds like it might have somehow changed in that time. He”s probably already wishing he hadn”t made me come here. That makes two of us. Silver seems to be the only one excited about our situation.
”Do you think he needs out?” Brant asks.
”Now that he”s heard you say it, I know he does, regardless of his bladder.”
Brant”s words may be the only thing that could have gotten Silver to break his staring match with the sandwich. He springs up as soon as he hears them, and now his tail is beating wildly against the side of Brant”s elegant and almost unusable coffee table. ”Doesn”t that hurt?” I ask him. He looks at me for a second. Then at the sandwich. Then back to Brant. And his tail goes even faster. Guess not.
Brant gives one last look at my ankle as he stands. ”You sure you”ll be okay?”
”You”re going to be fifty feet away and gone for two minutes. I think I can handle that.”
”So I shouldn”t ask if you need anything?”
I glare at him.
”Right. But I will when I get back, so prepare yourself for the trauma of having someone take care of you.” He winks and then turns to Silver. ”Who wants to go out? Hmm? Who wants to go out and pee pee and poopie poo and maybe even chase that squirrel we saw earlier if we”re really lucky? Is that you? Are you the one who wants to do that?”
Silver is whimpering now. His body trembles with excitement while Brant fastens the leash to his collar. And I”m trying everything to stifle my laughter at this huge hockey player using the words pee pee and poopie poo. Just as he”s at the door, and I think it”s safe to maybe let my smile show, Brant turns back to me, asking silently if I”m still fine. I roll my eyes.
I watch as he takes Silver out into the yard. There”s no fence, so Brant keeps him on the leash. But he has plenty of room to explore before he gets to the end of it. So he does. His nose is to the ground, and he”s wondering all over. And if it”s good enough for him… I mean, I wouldn”t mind another cookie, and I did see where Brant keeps them.
It”s strange standing up on only one leg. I have to force myself to hold my right foot several inches off the ground so I”m not tempted to use it. Once I”m up, I peek outside to make sure Brant isn”t heading back in. It makes me feel like I”m a little girl sneaking into the kitchen for a cookie—okay, so I guess I am sneaking into the kitchen for a cookie while he”s distracted, but damn it, I can taste the browned butter in these and it is phenomenal.
Brant”s still watching Silver, so I lower my right foot to the floor, stopping just as my toes touch. I take a deep breath and go a little more. So far so good. Maybe it”s already healed, and I can take off this wrap and go home. I shift even more weight to it, and ”yee-oww!” I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming. So much for being magically healed. But I am still making it to the kitchen.
I hop from one end of the sofa to the other. Then to the bar stools at the kitchen island. Then to the other side of the island, where I curse myself for not insisting Brant let me keep my crutches beside the couch. Finally, I turn toward the kitchen and the thing I want most in the world right now. It”s in the second cabinet to the right of the refrigerator. My eyes lock onto the target, and I”m off like a race car with four flat tires. My eyes light up as I make the final hop and open the door.
But when a ”what the hell do you think you”re doing?” booms from behind me, both my hand and my heart freeze. Maybe I should have been a little less excited and a little more attentive to the sound of the door opening.
When I turn around, Brant is right there. So very right there. ”Asserting my independence?”
”Disobeying doctor”s orders.” He steps closer, and he doesn”t look pleased.
I hop back to the counter and squeeze myself tight against it, and now I”m having flashbacks. But I could stand on both feet that night. Able to get away if I needed to. ”You disobeyed them too. She told you to make sure I stayed off this ankle, so this is mostly your fault.”
He shakes his head and moves even closer. ”My fault?”
”And you shouldn”t have given me cookies that taste like making out with the Greek god of baked goods. They were too tempting. Is that salted caramel swirled into them?”
”Have you made out with a lot of gods?” I know he”s teasing me because he moves so close that we touch. So close that my throat suddenly stops working. So close that I can feel—oh. So close his dick presses against me. His very hard, very erect dick. Still teasing. That”s all this is.
I try to hop back further, but there”s nowhere to go. I can”t even slip to the side because his hands are on the counter, pinning me in place with those forearms that are a threat to women everywhere and really should be banned by the Utah state legislature. ”Brant, you don”t want to do this.”
”Don”t I?”
”I should probably sit down. I”m supposed to stay off my ankle, remember?”
His arms tense for an instant. Then he drops them to his side, and I exhale. He”s finally realized that he”s sending the wrong signals. Luckily, I know better or I could have thought that he really meant?—
”Brant! What are you doing?”
Before I get a chance to hobble away, both of us laughing about how funny this all was, he slips his hands behind my thighs and lifts me onto the counter. ”There. Now you”re sitting.” He presses into me, and my brain is so scrambled I think I can smell the heat he”s putting off. If he doesn”t stop this, I”ll be tasting colors soon, and that”s a slippery slope neither of us wants.
”What are you doing?”
”Just following doctor”s orders.” He dips his head, and even though I know better, I think he”s going to kiss me. But he doesn”t. He stays motionless for a moment. Then I feel his breath against the side of my neck, just below my ear. It”s warm, but it sends shivers through me. When he moves again, his breath traces across my cheek until his mouth is just an inch away from my cheekbone. He pauses long enough for me to think I”m imagining all this. I have to be. But then he starts moving again. Lower. ”Do you know what hell the last few weeks have been? Seeing you, but knowing I couldn”t touch? Knowing you didn”t want me to do this?” He spreads my legs and moves between them, and I”m fairly sure I could be legally declared dead because nothing inside me is working. ”Then sitting so close to you on my sofa?”
”It”s surprisingly comfortable.” My words are barely a breath. ”I always thought rich people”s furniture was just for show, but that”s actually very cozy.” Why the hell am I talking about furniture right now? ”The back cushions are very, uh, cushiony.” Girl, shut up!
”So close, and all I wanted to do was this.” We both look down as he traces a finger above my inner thigh. Like his lips, it”s not touching me, but I still feel it. ”And this.” He tilts his head like he”s going to kiss me, but he doesn”t move any closer. ”But you don”t want any of it, and I respect that. I really do. I”ll continue to respect it. But Lily, it has been fucking torture for me.”
He”s wanted this? Him? Brant Just Friends Morrison? And with me? I”m sure I”m mishearing him. Imagining it. What exactly is in store-brand ibuprofen? I need more information. I need to find out what he means. But instead of making words, my mouth decides to kiss him. Full open mouth kissing.
I ask him if he”s sure about this, but it just comes out as a muffled moan because forming words is really hard when your tongue is in someone else”s mouth. When he answers with his own groan, though, I know he understands exactly what I”m asking, and I let my body lean against his. He slips his hand under my hair tie and grips the back of my head, holding me in place. Like I would go anywhere other than here.
I”ve been kissed before. Mostly by Tyler. But nothing I”ve ever had before was this kind of kissing. Those kisses didn”t make my lips feel like I”d just eaten a bag full of ghost pepper tortilla chips. Burning and tingling and numb. Those kisses didn”t make my body feel like it could shoot off this counter at any second if I don”t hang on to something.
The something I choose to hang on to is Brant. I mirror his motions, gripping the back of his hair in my fist, and he lets out a long, low groan that rattles my lips as I pull tight. He moves his free hand to my thigh. His fingers trace the seam of my leggings, but my muscles go taut like he slipped them inside me.
My job… My deal to stay here for a year… Am I ruining everything for just one kiss?
My eyes pop open, and I notice that even his closed eyes are sexy. His hand slides further up my thigh, and I gasp. He goes motionless at my sound, and then his eyes open slowly, like he”s waking from a dream. Maybe that”s what this is? Maybe my ankle was so bad they had to rush me into surgery. Do people have sex dreams under anesthesia? Do I want this to be a dream?
”Sorry.” He pulls back from my lips just enough to let the word escape, but it feels like there”s an ice rink between us. ”I guess we should talk first.”
The whine that passes my lips deflates me. I should have known. I did know, before I stupidly let my guard down, thinking this time could be different. He was caught up in the moment, but now he”s come to his senses. He”s one of the league”s best goalies. He”s probably on all kinds of sexiest man lists. And I”m me.
”Do you want this?” His usually angular face is soft now, like he wants to let me down easy. Of course he does. I”ve only known him for a month, but I know he”s not the type to just come out and tell a girl he wants nothing to do with her.
So I take the hint and give him the way out he”s looking for. ”It”s fine. I know you just want to be friends. And I have my job to think about. I understand that it doesn”t make sense for us to?—”
”Lily.” He runs a hand down his face as he takes a step back, and I”m struck by the temperature difference. I assume this is the point where I slide off the counter, and we forget this ever happened. But there”s no way I”ll ever forget this. And the way my body is still quivering, I don”t trust that my good leg will support me if I try to stand.
”Brant, it”s okay. I know nothing was ever going to happen between us, no matter how I feel. And I accept that. You don”t have to worry about me. Honest.”
”Will you please answer me without all the extra bullshit? When I kissed you, did you want that?”
I can barely hold his gaze for more than a second before I have to look away. ”Of course, I did. But I know this can”t work.”
”You want this?” He rests his palms on my legs and rubs circles on my inner thighs with his thumbs. Each circle moves higher until he”s just inches away from my center. ”This?”
”Brant.”
He leans forward and kisses me below my ear. His stubble rubs against me and sends a flurry of electric pinpricks down my body. His lips follow them. To my lips. To my chin. To my neck. ”You want this?”
I try to answer, but the only thing that comes out is a rushed and shaking breath.
He moves to the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. ”This?” The word reverberates against my skin, and his lips tickle. And everything he does spreads more warmth through me.
He kisses me in the hollow of my neck and down a line in the center of my chest, stopping between my breasts. ”Has anyone ever told you how amazing your breasts are?”
Only Em. One drunken night she confessed that she was jealous her boobs aren”t as nice as mine. But I”m pretty sure that”s not what he”s talking about.
He raises a hand to my breast and cups it. His thumb finds my nipple and traces around it. An entire power plant worth of electricity flows immediately to the center of my legs. The only thought running through my mind is that this can”t be real.
But Brant is apparently not aware that he”s imaginary because he moves his mouth lower. Even through the fabric of my shirt, his lips are doing things to me that they shouldn”t be allowed to. No kiss should be this hot. It”s just lips. Just lips. Oh my god! He lifts my shirt to my belly button and kisses there. This isn”t even sex, but it”s the best sex I”ve ever had. Sorry Tyler, but I”m so very not sorry.
He takes his hand from my breast. I try to pull it back up, but when he teases a finger under the waistband of my leggings, I stop trying. ”Do you want this?” He looks up at me, and my back arches from just that look. It is so insanely hot and sexual, and fuck yes. I have never wanted anything more than I want this.
I nod, and he slips both hands under my waistband.
”If we do this, it won”t be a one-time thing for me. Once I taste you, I”m going to want more. So you need to really think. Do you want me to take these off you?”
Did I really think I could just be friends with this man? This man who makes me feel like I”m the center of his planet and my gravity draws him always closer? I nod. Too enthusiastically. I bang the back of my head against the cabinet. I”m sure it hurts, but I can”t tell right now. There is a time for concussion protocol, and this is definitely not it.
”Tell me, Lily.”
”Yes.” Nothing else matters to me right now except him. I”ll deal with the consequences later.
His fingers twitch against my incredibly sensitive skin. This is it. But then he stops. His fingers burn like smoldering fuses on my skin. ”Yes?”
I let out a groan that causes him to smile. ”Yes. Please, yes.”
”Oh, I like hearing you beg. Maybe I should make you get on your knees.”
”Brant! Please.” If he doesn”t do this now, my underwear will seriously melt. And I”m sure melted panties are very damaging to countertops.
He chuckles. The low rumble is simultaneously arousing and infuriating. ”So very impatient.”
When he has my leggings below my knees, he slows, careful around my tender ankle. He watches my face for any sign of pain, but the only pain he”s causing right now is from being so damn slow. I almost bend forward to rip them off, but I know he would stop me. So I force myself to lean back and wait for him to finally get them off. When he does, I spread again, and his lips curve up.
”Of course your fucking pussy is perfect too.” He lowers himself to his knees and yanks me to the edge of the counter, lifting my legs over his shoulders in one clean motion. ”This is mine, Lily.”
He presses a thumb against my clit and then rolls around it. His thumb is rough, and it feels electric. I moan.
”Say it.”
He presses his face against me, his tongue taking the place of his thumb, and I have to pinch my lips together to keep myself from screaming out. How can it feel this good?
”Lily?” He pulls away but teases a finger along my slit. Probing.
I reach out for him, but he just brushes my hand away. ”We might need lube before—” His fingers slip inside me. My mouth snaps shut, and my body trembles.
”Lily?” he repeats.
It”s like learning to speak all over again. I have to focus on moving my tongue and my lips in coordination as he moves inside me. ”Brant.” I barely get it out, and even then it sounds like little more than a breath.
Brant stops. When I look down to find him, he”s staring at me. ”Tell me this is mine.” He doesn”t give me a chance to say anything before he drops his head. He seals his lips around my swollen clit and sucks. But just as quickly, he rocks back on his knees, and I feel so naked and exposed and cold. ”Or we can end here if you want.”
Don”t you fucking dare. I shake my head and try again. When he raises an eyebrow, I hold up a finger. I need to catch my breath. ”It”s yours.” I would give this man anything right now as long as he doesn”t stop.
”Good girl.” His tongue teases and swirls around my clit again, and my thighs clench around him. His stubble is rough against my smooth skin. Nothing has ever felt like this.
”Say that again.”
His eyes flick up to mine, and his lips curl into a smile. ”You are such a very. Good. Girl.” He punctuates each word by suctioning my clit, and the pressure that builds behind it threatens to overwhelm me.
I curl my fingers through his hair and squeeze. I might be hurting him, but I have to hold on to something. ”Brant, I”m?—”
”Eyes on mine.” He blows a cold breath across my sensitive bundle of nerves, and my whole body shivers. ”I want to see the look on your face when I make you come.”
He curves his fingers inside me just enough to catch a sensitive spot I never knew existed. His tongue licks, and then he sucks on me again. The pressure that was only behind my clit is spreading through my body now. My back arches, and it would be so natural to close my eyes and let my head roll back. But I keep my eyes on his, and I notice for the first time the copper and brown specks in his green eyes. My legs tighten even more around him as my body jolts.
”Brant!”
I angle my hips to press tighter against him as I ride out the orgasm. His tongue and fingers keep working as my muscles flutter. He doesn”t stop until the last of my shudders passes.
”Fucking hell. ” He cocks his head to the side, resting it on my thigh as he looks up at me. His cheeks are flushed, like he”s the one who just had the best orgasm of his life. ”That was even better than I fantasized.”
”You fantasized about me?”
He nods his head. ”I am going to do that to you over and over until you get sick of me.”
”I”ve never had an orgasm that way before.” As soon as I say it, I regret it. It”s too much to share.
Brant leans forward to kiss me, and I taste myself on his lips. My body tightens again, pretending that it”s ready for more, but I know if I have another one of those anytime soon, every one of my organs will give out. Some poor medical examiner will have to note ”Cause of death is liver failure from multiple soul-destroying orgasms” and I don”t want to be the reason someone had to write that sentence.
He slides his hands under my ass and lifts me from the counter. I”m caught off guard, so I scramble to throw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. ”Set me down. It”s your turn.” I move my hips across his unbelievably hard cock. It twitches as if it wants to get at me.
”Not today, Lily. You need to rest now.”
”I need to do this.” I stare at him with the saddest pouting face I can muster in the glow of an orgasm, but he shakes his head.
”Tell me what you meant when you said you”ve never had an orgasm that way.”
It is very hard to look away from someone when you have your arms and legs wrapped around them, but I do my best. ”Nothing. I didn”t mean to say anything.”
”No one has ever eaten that exquisite pussy before?”
I could tell him that no one has ever gone down on me before. It would be the truth. Tyler flat out laughed at me the one time I asked if he would. Brant would never know it”s not the entire truth.
”Lily, you”ve never orgasmed before at all?”
Fuck.”That”s not true. I—why are you smiling?”
As soon as I call him on it, he stops trying to hide it, and his lips curl even more. ”Don”t get me wrong, every other guy you”ve been with is a fucking fool to not appreciate you the way you deserve. But I love knowing I”m the only person who”s ever made you come.”
”You”re not the only person. I”ve done it for myself many times. Too many times maybe.” Especially in the last month after meeting him.
”That doesn”t count.” He looks so proud of himself. Normally, I would shoot his ego down, but after what he just did, his ego can soar wherever it wants. God knows I”m still floating. ”You”d better believe I”m going to make up for all the orgasms you”ve missed. Once you”re healed. For now, though, we”re going to watch movies all night, and you”re going to let me wait on you hand and foot while you rest. Don”t even try to argue.”
”I liked the way we sat together on my couch the other day. Maybe we could do that while we watch those movies?”
He doesn”t say a word. He just sets me in the middle of the couch and sits right beside me, his body against mine. I stretch my leg out and lean back into him. Then I lace my fingers through his and pull his hand to my lap.