Chapter 59
Scarlett
For years I dreamed about being editor in chief.
And honestly, when Douglas chose Valerie as his replacement, I was hurt.
I was one of the best journalists in the department.
Not once did I turn down a job I was given and I always, always brought my A game.
I put in my application for the job when Douglas announced his retirement but I never even got a chance to interview.
A few days later Valerie was being chauffeured around the building being introduced to everyone as our brand new editor.
She had experience. A very fancy resume from New York.
I plastered a smile on my face and shook her hand.
Faking confidence once again. Telling her I was just so happy to be working for her.
Once she had done her circling and left the building Douglas called me into his office.
I can clearly remember the look on his face. It was half pity, half parental.
“Scarlett, sweetheart.” He put his arms out wide and made a come here motion with his right hand. I let my body fall into his embrace and did everything I could not to fall apart. I really wanted that position and he knew it. “You are the most talented writer I’ve ever met.”
I pulled away from his hug and stared at him, my tears vanishing in hot anger. “Then why didn’t I even get a chance at the job?”
“Because you’re the most talented writer I’ve ever met.
” Repeating that statement did nothing to squash my anger or explain his logic.
I put my hands on my hip, ready to give him a piece of my mind when he held up his hand to continue.
“You’ve got gumption, great instincts, and you never back down from a story.
This magazine would be ruined without you behind the pen.
” His words were somehow equally confidence building and heart breaking at the same time.
“I could have done both,” I argue.
He smiles and it’s slightly condescending. “No Scarlett, you can’t. I have no doubt that you would try but at some point you have to learn to let go of control and trust those around you.”
“But you just said that I’m the best.”
He let out a soft chuckle, “you are the best because your tenacity doesn’t allow you to quit.
Unfortunately, that same tenacity will drive you straight towards burn out if you let it.
Allowing you to take this editor position would be irresponsible on my part, knowing that it will cause you to work yourself to death. ”
Little did he know I almost did that anyway.
At the hands of the replacement he chose.
Now she’s gone and if Amber is right, her job could be mine.
The biggest question is, do I even want it anymore?
I look down at my overalls, only one shoulder is fastened because I broke off one of my buttons when I got snagged on a loose nail in the chicken coop.
There’s straw in my hair from when Pedro tried to roost on my head as I sat down with the hens earlier and there’s a loose string from the sleeve of my sweater from Penny getting a little too frisky.
I’m so far from the woman I was six months ago.
The woman who wore high heels daily. Drank fancy espresso martinis and ran herself ragged.
When I compare the stress of looking after this little farm with the stress of my former occupation, it’s a no brainer. This is not easier by any means, but if I have to choose, I choose this.
My phone rings and I step away from Penny before I answer it. If I don’t get outside of her fenced area when I’m distracted, I’m liable to lose my sweater sleeve.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Scarlett? This is Tony from Denver Magazine.”
“Hi, Tony.” Instantly I feel my palms begin to sweat. I appreciate Amber’s heads up but I’m still nervous to take the call.
“So, first of all I want to say that we all appreciate the years you put in at the magazine. We were all really sad to see you go a few months ago.” Silence lays heavy between us.
“Uh, thank you and sorry about that?” I don’t mean it as a question but my voice raises at the end of the statement because I’m nervous.
“I don’t know if you’ve talked to anyone at the magazine yet,” I’m almost positive that he knows I spoke with Amber already. “But Valerie is no longer with us.”
I try to coat my voice with surprise as I say, “Oh goodness, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah,” he takes a beat of silence but moves on without saying anything about them missing her. “We were wondering if you would be interested in taking her position?”
Okay, it’s now or never. “That is very flattering but I am not interested at this time.”
I hold my breath, waiting for his response. In all the years I worked there I was a yes woman. The one they could count on to be up for anything. Saying no in my profession has never been my strong suit.
“Are you sure? We would love for you to come in and see us tomorrow for what we’ll call an interview.
Really, it’s just a time where we will discuss your salary and benefits and try to convince you to come back.
Really Scarlett, the job is yours if you want it.
And the pay is significantly more than before.
I’ll put you down for four o’clock if that works for you? ”