Chapter 4
four
you can't fire me
Liam
“You’re fired.”
My vision sharpened, my ears rang, and for a moment, my brain refused to process the words. You’re fired? What does that even mean?
Until my phone rang, my morning had been uneventful. I’d just stopped in the bookstore to wait for Nana to get ready to go out when my boss called me. I expected Chet was getting back to me to schedule the meeting I’d requested before coming to Carlisle Creek.
Apparently, that was not the case.
It looked like my tactfully worded email requesting a sit-down to discuss his son’s performance wasn’t as well-received as I had hoped.
And I’d agonized over that wording, too.
Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a constructive way to say, “Your son is a dumbass who needs to learn how to do his job before he pisses off a client with his moronic actions.”?
The kid was desperate to be Don Draper from Mad Men, but he didn’t seem to understand that even Don Draper wanted to be Don Draper.
It was actually a little sad how desperately he wished the advertising and marketing world operated the way it did in that show.
Still, he was the boss’s kid, so I thought we could set a meeting, hammer out some expectations, and that would be that. Looks like I was wrong about that.
I scoffed. “You’re not serious? You can’t fire me.”
“I am very serious, Liam,” Chet said, sounding bored with this conversation already. “My son explained that you’ve been limiting his opportunities.” He sighed. “Given the circumstances, I think it’s best that we part ways.”
The long nights. The missed holidays. The time with Nana that I’d sacrificed, and for what? The throbbing in my temples drowned out the rest of Chet’s speech.
“And Greg?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, bumping my glasses carelessly.
“Are you letting him go? Or will you ask him to stay on as Chad’s assistant?
” Yes, Chet had named his son Chad, and yes, they were both every bit the frat bro their names implied.
I was certain Greg would rather eat the contents of Mr. Fluffy’s litter box for lunch every day than become Chad’s assistant for a single minute, but I had to ask.
“Greg will also receive a severance package,” Chet said. “HR will be contacting him today to go over the details.”
Pressure continued to build behind my eyes, until I no longer cared what Chet had to say. All I wanted was for the call to end.
“I’m disappointed to hear you’ve been holding Chad back. Honestly, Liam, I expected more after all I’ve done for you.”
I choked on my saliva, fighting to hold back my laughter.
He’d lost his marbles. That must be it. No sane man would think Chad was good at his job.
“Listen, Chet, if anyone is holding Chad back, it’s Chad.
I’m sure you’ll find that out soon enough.
Have Human Resources email the exit paperwork.
I’ll get it back to you as soon as I can.
” I stabbed the end-call button without waiting for a reply and tossed my phone onto the couch.
“Well, shit.” I dragged a hand down my face as the pounding in my head worsened. “Fuck, fuckity, fuck-fuck. Shit.” A humourless laugh escaped me. “This is just fucking fantastic.”
Now what?
I’d given that company so much of myself over the last three years, and Chet fired me after one complaint from his son? I couldn’t decide whether it was hilarious or infuriating.
“Whoa. Let’s take it down a notch or three, sailor.”
I glanced up to see Maya leaning against the counter, arms crossed, grinning as though my breakdown was the most entertainment she’d had in weeks.
“Is the potty mouth really necessary?”
“Considering I just got fired, I’d say yes”—I blew out a harsh breath and shook my aching head—“swearing is 100% necessary. Pipsqueak.” My lips tilted into a wan smile. “Do you always eavesdrop on your customers’ private conversations, or is that something special you’re doing for me alone?”
“Fired, huh? That sucks.”
I blinked at her. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“Were you expecting a hug or something?”
“No. Of course not. But if you’re offering…” I opened my arms, smiling wider.
She responded by crossing her arms more tightly around herself and frowning harder. “Guess with being unemployed you’ll have more time to visit Nana now, hey?”
The disdain in her voice made me smile. There’s the Maya I was expecting. A hug would have been nice, though. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”
“Nope.” She grinned. “Not even a little bit.”
Her laughter directly contradicted her words. I couldn’t quite tell if she was joking, or if she wanted to murder me in my sleep. The menace dancing in her eyes suggested the latter, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen.
Jesus, Liam. What is wrong with you?
“You gonna tell me why that is?”
“Also nope. I’m sure if you think about it hard enough, you’ll figure it out.”
She turned to the giant coffee-making monstrosity—the thing looked like a shiny robot—on the back counter and busied herself, turning knobs and fiddling with levers.
With the Chambers-induced headache building behind my eyes, I wish I’d choked down at least a few sips of the dishwater coffee at the B&B. After all, some caffeine was better than no caffeine.
“Do you think you could find it in your heart to make me a coffee?” I asked, softening my voice, though I fully expected Maya to say no simply because she disliked me so much. “You know, on account of my recent joblessness and all?”
She huffed a sigh, turned to me with a fake customer service smile, and spoke through gritted teeth. “Sure thing. What would you like?”
I chuckled, then winced at the slice of pain shooting through my head. “Never mind, it’s alright.” I rubbed my temples. “I don’t want to put you out.”
Maya flashed me a too-sweet smile. “No, no. Please. I live to serve.” I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw her eye twitch. If it weren’t so depressing, I’d laugh at how badly she sucked at pretending she hated me. “What would you like?”
I shook my head, grimacing at the fresh stab of pain. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t ask, since you clearly have a problem with me, but I’m getting a killer headache. I’d like to get it under control before I break the news to Greg.”
“Caffeine withdrawal is the worst.” She fiddled with the coffee machine again, and I could have sworn it beeped and booped like a droid. That thing was definitely a robot in a past life. “Why would Greg care if you get fired?”
“Greg is, or I suppose I should say was, my assistant. He’ll be receiving a similar phone call right about now.”
“Why can’t he stay and be your replacement’s assistant? Is he so loyal to you that he couldn’t do his job for someone else?”
“My gut tells me my job will go to my boss’s son, Chad, and he is not a guy anyone wants to work for.
He’s unqualified, utterly inept, and filled with a delusional confidence that is wholly unsupported by his performance.
And as if all that weren’t bad enough, he stinks.
The stench of his cologne causes more sick days than flu season. ”
“Well, I think that’s dumb.” She scowled.
“Greg losing his job, not the boss’s son thing, obviously.
That guy sounds like an asshole. Here.” She slid a takeout cup across the counter.
“Americano. I can’t promise that it’s not laced with a pants-ruining and possibly life-ending dose of laxatives.
You’ll have to decide for yourself whether it’s worth the risk to drink it.
” Her mouth quirked into a half-grin that she fought to control.
“I don’t know why you insist on calling me Pipsqueak.
I’m really not that short.” I raised an eyebrow, and she huffed before adding, “My condolences on the job, though.”
I shook my head and smiled before taking my cup to the end of the counter where the coffee fixings were.
I added a splash of cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, admiring the rich, deep colour of the coffee as I inhaled the aroma of a quality roast. The throbbing in my head lessened in anticipation of the caffeinated relief soon to be making its way through my veins.
“Careful, Pipsqueak.” I leaned against the counter, grinning. “Keep up this overwhelming kindness and I might just have to make you fall in love with me.”
Maya snorted a laugh. “Not in this lifetime, Bishop.”
“We’ll see.” I winked, taking my coffee and turning to leave. “I can be very persuasive.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” she called out, still laughing as I pushed open the door. “And if you call me Pipsqueak again,” she warned, “I’ll track down Chad’s cologne and drown you in it.”
I grinned. “Sounds kinky. Let’s talk more about that later.” I narrowly dodged the paper cup she threw as I slipped out onto the sidewalk.
I took another deep drink, my headache already lessening. Damn, that’s good coffee. Maybe Maya was onto something with that coffee robot after all.
I was still chuckling to myself a few minutes later when I walked into the front room of the tiny bed-and-breakfast where Greg and I were staying.
Greg sat on the plastic-encased floral loveseat in the combined lobby and reading area of the B&B, his laptop balanced on his knees, and Mr. Fluffy draped over his shoulders like a scarf.
He squinted at my cup and sniffed the air. “Is that actual coffee I smell? Where’d you get that?”
“Maya.”
He set his laptop aside. “She just … gave it to you? Of her own free will? And you didn’t get one for me?”
“Sorry, man.” I grinned. “I got distracted when she threatened to drown me in shitty cologne if I ever call her Pipsqueak again.”
Greg let out a low whistle. “You are in so far over your head.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll see,” he said, turning his attention to Mr. Fluffy.
“So … listen.” I rubbed the back of my neck, stalling. I was not looking forward to giving him this next piece of news. Greg waited, his eyebrow raised expectantly. “I got a call from Chet,” I blurted, ripping off the bandage.
“Same.” He smirked. “I told you this was coming.” After being passed over for the position that was ultimately given to Chad, Greg had been predicting something like this would happen.
I frowned. “No shock? No outrage at the unfairness of it all?”
“I mean…” He shrugged, earning a scowl from his furry scarf. “I was thinking about being outraged, but then I remembered how much I hate it there.”
I laughed. “So, what will you do now?”
“No clue. Stay unemployed for a while? Apply to some other firms?” He gave me a pointed look. “Whatever I decide to do, I’m confident you’ll give me a glowing reference when the time comes.”
“Absolutely. Whatever you need.”
“What about you?”
“I think I’ll stick around here a little longer.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “Because you got fired?”
“Because I missed Nana,” I said, realizing the truth of it as the words left my mouth. “And I don’t want to waste this chance to spend more time with her.”
Greg snapped his laptop shut. “Let me put this away, then we can go pick her up for breakfast. On the way, you can confess to me all about how you’re also staying for Maya.”
“I … what?”
Greg laughed and handed me Mr. Fluffy, leaving me scrambling for a response.
He was mistaken, of course. I wasn’t staying for Maya. The possibility of getting to know her better was just a lucky coincidence.