Chapter 23 It All Comes Down to Alan Rickman
twenty-three
it all comes down to Alan Rickman
Maya
“And so, after some soul-searching, and after talking to Nana, I realized I’ve been too hard on you. I’m so incredibly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
“You big baby.” Sierra grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet before wrapping me in a tight hug. “Of course we forgive you.”
“We forgave you before you started begging,” Andie added, grinning, “but it was a nice touch.”
I exhaled a laugh, relief flooding my veins. I don’t know what I would have done if Andie and Sierra hadn’t forgiven me.
“We knew you wouldn’t stay mad for too long.
Granted, two weeks is longer than I had expected, but you’re here now.
I’m sorry we kept that from you, especially knowing how strongly you felt about it.
” Andie took her seat again. “If we’d told you when we first learned about …
well, about what happened to you. It would have been better to get it all out there in the beginning. ”
A weight lifted from my chest. Despite every intention, I’d let my past get in the way of my future, and I’d had no idea I’d done it. I nearly lost my friends because of it, and I refused to let that happen again.
“As long as you know, I truly am sorry,” I said, my voice thick with regret. “I let my own shit get in the way of our friendship for far too long. It might have only been a couple of weeks, but it felt like years to me.”
Sierra’s smile was bittersweet. “So, do you believe us now? That we’re not like your parents?”
My throat tightened, but I did understand.
My parents had screwed me up in more ways than I knew, but I couldn’t take it out on my friends any longer.
And by extension, I probably shouldn’t take it out on Liam anymore, either.
But how did I feel about him now that I didn’t have that holding me back?
I'd solved the problem with my friends, but I had a feeling my issues with Liam were barely getting started.
Before I could travel down that rabbit hole any further, Dottie came by to take our order, her bubbly presence instantly lightening the mood. It was hard to be sad when Dottie was around.
Eccentric with a capital “E”, Dottie dressed in technicolour muumuus, coloured her hair bright pink, and never went anywhere without slathering on a fresh coat of her bright red lipstick first. She knew who she was, and that was it.
If you didn’t like it, too bad. Next to Nana, she was the person I most aspired to be like when I got older.
“Thanks, Dottie. You’re the best.”
“Aww, Maya, darling. Did I ever mention you’re my favourite customer?
” she said, pinching my cheek. “Extra French fries for you.” She heads to the kitchen yelling, “Dave! Put down extra fries for the cheeseburger on this ticket. Maya’s my favourite tonight.
” She crashed through the swinging door, probably to tell Dave to add extra fries to everyone’s plates.
She didn’t play favourites, despite often saying otherwise.
We chatted for the next few minutes, the seriousness of our previous conversation seemingly forgotten. I wouldn’t forget, though. I nearly destroyed these friendships, and I was so damn lucky they forgave me. Andie and Sierra were too good for me.
Sierra rested her chin on her hands and gave me a knowing look. “Now that we have that settled…” She grins. “Tell us what’s going on with Liam.”
My jaw dropped. Did they know I’d been talking to Liam? “What?”
Andie smirked. “I have it on good authority that he took care of you when you were ridiculously hungover. And I hear you’ve been texting. And spending every evening together at Nana’s.”
Sierra gasped in mock outrage. “You’ve reached the taking care of each other when sick stage of the relationship already? And you didn’t tell us right away?”
I gawked at them. “He told you?”
“I’ll never reveal my sources.” Sierra mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
Andie rolled her eyes at Sierra’s antics. “I overheard Liam telling Nana about it one day when they came in for lunch.”
I cringed. Nana and I enjoyed the odd glass of wine during our evenings spent reading, but I’d never lost control in front of her. What must she think of me now?
“Oh, speaking of Liam…” Sierra whispered. “He’s on his way over now. Be cool.”
A thrill of excitement laced with dread wound through me. Cool? Has she met me? The word cool had never once been associated with me. Grumpy? Yes. Intense? Sometimes. Cool? Not even once.
“Evening, ladies.” Liam flashed his perfect grin, and my stomach fluttered.
Kai, Greg, and Liam descended on us all at once, and tension rapidly filled the air, though that possibly had something to do with the laser beams shooting from Sierra’s eyes into Kai’s brain.
“Hey, Pipsqueak,” Liam said, pulling a chair up next to me. “Have any more solo parties recently? Should I find you a bucket?”
I hated that I blushed. I hated even more that my brain refused to conjure a single death threat at the nickname, especially now that I knew he liked them. And most of all? I hated that Sierra and Andie’s eyebrows wiggled like caterpillars trying to make a run for it.
Turning away from my deeply annoying best friends, I focused on Liam. “No way,” I managed despite my mounting nervousness. “But thanks again for taking care of me.” That sounded cool, right?
“It was my pleasure.” Liam shifted in his seat, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Not like I enjoyed seeing you sick or anything,” he added, looking as flustered as I felt.
“But it was funny listening to you ramble. Oh, and I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s Rickman?
You were muttering about it while you were sleeping off your special drinks.
You kept talking about Rickman and something called Metatron?
” He shrugged. “It’s possible I didn’t hear you correctly, though. I think you were still pretty drunk.”
Oh. Shit. This was not good. Just when I’d decided I kind of liked Liam, he had to bear witness to my greatest, and most potentially embarrassing, obsession.
Had I told him why I was obsessed with Alan Rickman?
I sank further down in my chair, wishing I could slide right under the table and slither away unnoticed.
I hadn’t let my secret slip during the aftermath of my night of ill-advised drunkenness, had I?
“Oh my god,” Sierra snapped her head toward Liam, her eyes bright with delight. “Tell me she was not in a Rickman reverie while she was drunk.” A peal of raucous laughter burst from her. “Promise me you’ll never change, Maya. You’re the best.”
Liam’s eyebrow furrowed. “A what now?”
Sierra leaned in, eyes gleaming, and slowly enunciated, “A Rickman. Reverie.”
Liam blinked. “Like a daydream?”
“So much better.” Sierra grinned. “She goes into a full-on trance where she fantasizes about Alan Rickman.”
I rolled my eyes but grinned at her exaggeration. I’d never once gone into a trance while thinking about him. I may have missed a few things that happened around me when listening to my playlist with my noise-cancelling headphones, though.
Liam turned to me with amusement and confusion all over his handsome face. “Alan Rickman? He played Snape in those kid magician movies, right?”
I jolted upright, so offended that the entirety of Alan Rickman’s illustrious career was being reduced to a single character that I momentarily forgot my embarrassment.
I levelled Liam with a glare. “Alan Rickman was an incomparably talented actor who deserves far more than being remembered for only that role.” I had a serious issue with Mr. Rickman being associated with only that body of work for all time.
“Don’t get me wrong. He was excellent in those movies, but he had many other—I would argue better—roles.
Like the Metatron. Or Hans Gruber. Or, or …
Sir Alexander Dane. By Grabthar’s hammer!
” I slammed a fist on the table and filled my lungs to finish my tirade.
“It fills me with rage that Snape is the role people think of when Alan Rickman is mentioned. He was a classically trained actor who played so many other incredible characters.”
Silence descended.
I looked around at the sea of stunned faces surrounding me. If my impassioned speech didn’t land me solidly in demented, obsessed celebrity stalker territory in Liam’s mind, nothing would. Why was I like this?
Smiling indulgently, Sierra and Andie shook their heads, already familiar with this particular Alan Rickman diatribe. Kai and Greg seemed amused—whether by my unhinged confession of love for Alan Rickman or Sierra and Andie’s quiet acceptance of my tirade, who could say?
Liam stared at me, his face unreadable. He cocked his head. “That’s … interesting.”
My face contorted into a grimace. Yep, he thinks I’m nuts. Way to go, Maya. I braced for the teasing that usually followed my word-vomiting of Alan Rickman’s accolades over unsuspecting bystanders.
“Tell me more. Why do you like him so much?”
My shoulders sagged in relief that the expected teasing didn’t appear to be coming. At least, no from Liam. And yet, regardless of my feelings about Liam, I didn’t want him to know the real reason Alan Rickman was so dear to me. Not yet. Possibly not ever. “Oh. No reason, really.”
Liam narrowed his eyes and regarded me silently.
“I just think he’s great,” I added, when I could no longer hold my tongue under the weight of his icy blue gaze. “He has a pleasant voice.”
He watched me for another beat and grinned. “How about you show me some of your favourite Alan Rickman movies sometime? Since Snape is the only one I can think of.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure thing,” I said, not believing for a second that he was interested in Alan Rickman. I’d never met anyone who had more than a passing interest in him, aside from curiosity about my obsession. Which was mind-boggling to me. Alan Rickman was a genius, and his voice was … everything.
“How about tomorrow night?”
My brain short-circuited and I questioned what I'd heard. Had he asked me to share my favourite Alan Rickman movies with him tomorrow? As in, the day after today? Was that the tomorrow he meant?
Had Liam Bishop asked me out? I swallowed roughly. That couldn’t be right. I was imagining things. Maybe I did go into trances like Sierra said, and this entire conversation had been nothing but an Alan Rickman-induced hallucination.
“She’d love to,” Sierra said when she saw I was too busy overthinking to answer for myself.
I whipped my head toward her, my eyes screaming, what are you doing?!
“Great. It’s a date. See you at eight.” He gave a short nod, as though he considered the matter settled, and walked away, leaving me with my jaw hanging open, thoroughly flabbergasted.
That was not cool, Maya. Not cool at all.
Andie watched me for a moment, her head tilted. “I think she’s broken. Look at her. She’s stuck.”
Sierra tapped my forehead with her spoon, and a drop of liquid dribbled toward my nose. “Nah. She’s probably in another reverie.” She smirked. “Too busy thinking about Alan Rickman to register what’s going on around her.”
“Shit!” I snapped back to reality, eyes wide as I swiped coffee off my forehead with the back of my hand.
“What?” Andie asked. “Isn’t this a good thing?”
I grabbed their arms, frantic. “You guys.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “Is this a date? Does this mean I’m going to find out how not ill-equipped he is?”
Andie patted my hand. “Only if you want to, Maya. You don’t have to do anything but watch a movie.”
Sierra grinned. “But I’m voting you get that dick out and—”
“Okay, that’s enough, Sierra.” Andie cut her off. “This is a family establishment, remember?” She turned back to me and whispered, “But she’s not wrong. It’s time to open that abandoned mineshaft you call a vagina and get yourself some of Liam’s majestic D.”
Dottie, the sweet, merciful angel with perfect timing that she was, arrived with our food at that precise moment, heading off my impending meltdown.
“Let’s eat up. Afterward, we’ll go to your place and plan your date night look.”
“I imagine you’ll need some time.” Sierra said through a mouthful of french fries. She paused to swallow. “I bet you don’t even know how women are doing their pubic hair these days.”
I choked, my face transforming into a horrified rictus. “I have to style my pubes?”