Chapter 4 – Gentry
four
GENTRY
Iwatched her head upstairs to her bedroom. I knew going up there would be hard on her, but I refrained from following her. That was what the old Gentry would do. She was a big girl now. She could handle it on her own. She didn't need me anymore, and I didn’t need her either.
“Thank you for pickin’ her up, Gentry,” Lillian said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I responded, softening the look on my face toward her mom. She’d done more for me in the past four years than she ever needed to, and I’d gladly do anything for this woman if she asked.
“Yes, I do. I know that wasn’t easy for you, and I hated puttin’ you in that predicament,” she replied, placing her hand on my arm.
Her whole family knew how hard the return of Ainsleigh was for me, but their focus needed to be on their daughter.
Not the conflicting emotions I was facing now that she was home.
“It was nothin’,” I said, as I placed my hand on top of hers. She didn’t need to know it was a struggle seeing her daughter again. She didn’t need to know I wanted to strangle Ainsleigh for what she’d put us all through over the past four years. I’d keep that little tidbit to myself.
“It was everythin’, and you know it.”
I didn’t reply because arguing with Lillian never got anyone anywhere. She’d always win one way or another.
“Did y’all get everythin’ sorted?” I turned and asked Sawyer.
There was an emergency in the kitchen of the clubhouse, and thankfully everyone rallied together or the small fire could’ve been catastrophic.
The kitchen staff reacted thoroughly and efficiently and put out the fire before it could spread.
“Yeah, we did, son. I’ve got a new stove ordered, and it’ll be arriving tomorrow. Thankfully, we have more than one to get dinner done. No need to worry about that tonight. How are you handlin’ her being home?”
How was I handling it?
The quick response was I wasn’t. I was perfectly fine until she showed up. But I couldn’t tell them that.
“I’m fine,” I mustered, even though I was anything but.
“Sure you are, son. Keep tellin’ yourself that.” He laughed as he patted my shoulder, squeezing it before he walked off.
Why did this family have to know me so well?
“So you’re fine with havin’ her back, huh?” Holden asked from beside me.
Where did he come from?
“Yup,” I said, putting my hands in the back pockets of my jeans as I rocked back and forth on my feet. He could read me better than anyone here, and I needed to keep my facial expressions neutral or he’d see right through my facade.
“I know better than to believe that lie. Seriously, Gentry, are you doing okay with her being back?” he questioned, as he looked right into my eyes.
“I’m fine,” I lied. Seeing her again, it hurt so much, but I wouldn’t let on how I really felt.
“Y’all need to have a conversation, Gentry. Go easy on her for a little while, and don’t fall back into old habits. I don’t want to lose either of you again,” he said.
“Never going to happen.” It couldn’t happen, was what I meant. I couldn’t risk my heart with her again, no matter how much it begged me to.
“Make sure you remember that,” he said, his voice laced with concern, but I wasn’t sure if that concern was directed at me or his sister.
Holden considered me as one of his brothers, but when it came to his sister, he’d choose her over me any day of the week. As he should. But it still hurt that I didn’t have anyone who would choose me.
Why didn’t anyone ever just choose me?
“You don’t have to worry about me fallin’ back into old habits. She made her choice all those years ago, and it wasn’t me.”
I wasn’t technically lying. I was fine. I’d moved on with my life. And so had she.
“If you say so. I’m goin’ to go check on her.
Make sure she’s okay,” Holden said as he waited a beat.
I nodded to him, understanding his need to check on her.
He took her leaving harder than anyone. We both knew the pain of her being back in her bedroom would cause.
But she wouldn’t want me to be the one to comfort her as she came face to face with the past she’d left behind.
He walked away after I nodded, and I went in search of Lillian so I had something to focus on other than the fact that Ainsleigh was back in this house, so close to touch I could taste it.