Chapter 25 – Gentry
twenty-five
GENTRY
“You’ve been in a weird mood all day. What gives?” Holden asked as we leaned against the wall in the clubhouse.
On Monday’s the family joined the new guests in the clubhouse for dinner. I loved how Sawyer wanted to be a part of making sure that the guests felt like Courtright Ranch was their home away from home.
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” I said as I gripped my water bottle. I couldn’t tell my best friend the feelings I had for his sister.
“Tough. Spill,” he demanded.
Holden hated seeing anyone in an off mood. He’d always been attuned to my emotions, especially when I didn’t want to speak a word.
Just then I noticed the reason for my mood entering the clubhouse.
She was so beautiful I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. She’d changed into a yellow sundress and a pair of white cowboy boots. Her blond hair flowed freely down her back, full of those messy curls that I loved.
My teeth hurt with how tight my jaw set at the sight of her. I wanted to go over to her, but refrained. We weren’t official, even if I hoped that’s where we were headed, we hadn’t talked about that yet, and I couldn’t risk the questions if I went over to her, not the way I wanted to at least.
Holden followed my line of sight before I could divert my attention.
“I get it now. My sister is the reason.”
Why did he have to be so perceptive?
“I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. It,” I bit out as I walked away. I needed to get away from him before I spilled my guts about the feelings I harbored for his sister.
He followed me across the room.
Of course he did.
“Gentry, wait,” he said as he grasped my shoulder.
I stopped but didn’t turn around.
I couldn’t let him see the anguish on my face. I promised him that I wouldn’t start anything with Ainsleigh. And I meant it. When I said it. Things changed the moment my lips met hers. Now I couldn’t get her out of my head no matter how hard I tried.
“What, Holden?”
“Did something happen between you and Ainsleigh?”
His concerned voice gave me pause.
As much as he annoyed me, I couldn’t let him stew.
I turned to face him, my arms crossed over my chest.
“We’ve been spending time together.” I sighed. I only gave him the CliffsNotes version. He didn’t need the gritty details. He didn’t need to know I’d kissed his sister. Not yet anyways.
“I thought you weren’t starting anything with her again?” he questioned. His voice laced with concern and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“We haven’t officially started anything again. Maybe that’s part of my problem,” I admitted, hoping he understood.
He stood there staring at me, but didn’t say anything.
I walked away because I didn’t want to get into this. Especially here in front of the guests. This was a private conversation.
I greeted the guests with a smile on my face, and talked with them about what they were looking forward to experiencing during their stay. Only every time I would move on to the next group of guests, my eyes always managed to find her.
I stood in this open room and watched her.
Her laugh filled the room even over the sounds of the guests' conversations.
She threw her head back and laughed a full belly laugh at something one of the ranch hands said, her hand going to his forearm as she looked back up at him.
My fists clenched at the sight of her hand on him.
An innocent touch, but I wished it was me instead.
As if she could feel my stare, her smile faded as she looked around the room.
Our eyes met, and her smile grew at the sight of me. She turned her chin into her shoulder and even though I was across the room, I swore I saw a hint of redness on her cheeks.
It took every ounce of willpower I had to not go over there, and pull her into my arms. To claim her as mine.
She went back to talking to the ranch hand and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Not even after she caught me staring. Like a moth to a flame, whenever she was near, I was drawn to her. I wanted to be the reason for her laughter, for her smiles. Not some ranch hand.
“Someone looks jealous,” Holden said, his voice breaking my train of thought.
It was probably for the best. I was picturing all the ways I could get her away from him.
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” I lied.
“She looks happy. It’s good to see her laughing again. Maybe she could get to know … hmmm … what’s his name again?”
“Michael,” I bit out, my fists clenched.
“Ah yes, good old Michael. I think Ainsleigh and Michael has a good ring to it.” Holden laughed.
“What are you playing at, Holden? You don’t want me with your sister, but you’re going to taunt me with the idea of her with someone else.”
“How’s it taunting you if you don’t want to be with her?”
He had a point. And I fell into his trap.
“I don’t want to be with her.” The lie spilled off my lips way too easily.
“Turn around and look me in the eyes and say that again,” Holden goaded.
I took a deep breath and mustered up all the strength I possessed to lie to my best friend’s face.
Only when I turned around, my eyes met his questioning gaze, and I couldn’t do it. The lie tasted bitter in my mind. I could only imagine how it’d taste coming out of my mouth.
“What do you want me to say, Holden?”
He eyed me questioningly before he spoke.
“I want you to be honest with me.”
If I was honest with him like he asked, I risked everything. My best friend. My place here at the ranch. The promotion I was vying for. Everything that meant the world to me and held me together these past four years could go up in smoke over my honesty.
Was she worth potentially losing it all?
Absolutely.
Even if she didn’t want me. Even if we never got back together. Ainsleigh Courtright was worth every ounce of heartache at even the chance to be with her.
“I love her,” I whispered as I looked away from him. I couldn’t see the disappointed expression that was likely to cross his face.
“We all know you love her, Gentry. That was never in question. The question is what are you going to do about it?” he countered.
That was the five-million-dollar question.
Should I risk my heart and my whole life at even the chance to be with her again?
“That’s up to Ainsleigh. She said we could only be friends. I’m leaving it up to her,” I responded.
“She still loves you, you know?” Holden said, shocking me.
I kept my expression neutral when mentally I high fived the air.
“She told you that?” I questioned. I hoped he’d give me something, any small morsel of hope that I could hold on to.
“Among other things,” he replied with a sly grin.
“That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“Absolutely. Y’all both need to get your heads out of your butts. Maybe me being elusive will help you get yours out long enough to do something about those feelings you’re still harboring over my baby sis.”
“You warned me against starting anything with her.”
I felt like I had to honor my best friend's wishes. I couldn’t lose him after everything else I’d lost.
“Yeah, well I’m man enough to admit maybe I was wrong,” he whispered so low I almost didn’t hear him.
“You, Holden Courtright, are admitting you’re wrong. I never thought I’d see the day.” I laughed.
“I’m getting wiser in my older age,” he said as he punched my arm.
“You’re like a year older than me. You’re calling us old now? We’re in our early twenties.”
“I didn’t say we were old. I just said I’m getting wiser. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. You’re good for Ainsleigh. Everyone knows that. I just didn’t want her to leave again.”
“Do you know something I don’t?”
Holden had a sly grin on his face as he shrugged. Oh, he knew something alright. He just wasn’t forthcoming with that information.
“You’ll find out when the time is right,” he replied.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
Pulling my phone out, I checked my notifications and saw a text.
The only people who would message me were in this room. Glancing around, I didn’t see anyone with their phones in their hands.
My hands shook as I opened the text.
A number I didn’t recognize appeared on the screen.
I only read the first sentence before I clenched the phone so tight I was sure the screen would crack.
The message was from my mother.
I hadn’t heard from her in four years, ever since our falling out.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Is everything okay?”
Not in the slightest. Every part of me wanted to delete the message without reading it.
But you know what they say about curiosity. It killed the cat. And I was sure this message would likely kill another piece of me.
“I received a message from my mom.” I don’t know how I managed to even say that out loud.
“What did she say?” Holden eyed me warily. He knew what had gone down with my parents.
“I haven’t even had the chance to read it. I just saw that it was from her and looked away.”
“You could always delete it. You don’t need that headache in your life.”
I was grateful for his advice. But I had to look. I had to know why she’d reached out to me now.
Unknown number: Hey, Gentry. It’s your mom. Your dad and I are going to be passing through Haven Valley in the next few days. We need to see you.
And just like that, another part of my past was about to come back into my life.
Only my parents returning didn’t light up my life like Ainsleigh did.
They brought nothing but bad news and trouble.
God only knew which one would follow them into town.
But I knew in the pit of my stomach that if she was reaching out to me, whatever she had to see me about was about to upend my life.