Chapter 26 – Ainsleigh #2
“I’m staying in Texas. I don’t want to miss any more moments with my family.
I can’t keep running from the pain of losing her.
I need to feel it. I need to be around the people who matter the most to me and lean on them while I’m on my healing journey.
This ranch is my home. Texas is where I belong. ”
Admitting that out loud felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Hope filled Gentry’s eyes as he stared back at me. I wanted the same hope to fill my expression, but his reaction and his words that followed would determine if that was possible.
“You’re staying?”
“I am,” I confessed with a slight grin on my face.
I couldn’t imagine living back in Virginia after spending the past few days with my family. While spending my last few days with him.
Gentry’s mouth opened and closed several times as he processed my confession.
He unlinked our fingers, worried his hands together, and looked to the ground and back up at me. He wanted to ask me something, but he stalled. It was like pulling teeth to get what he thought out of him sometimes.
“What?” I asked, gently giving him a nudge to tell me what he was thinking.
“I’m kinda scared to ask,” he admitted. Gentry was a lot of things, but I never imagined he’d be scared to speak what was on his mind.
“Out with it, cowboy.” I laughed as I grabbed his hand and squeezed to offer him comfort.
He let go of my hand, and for a moment I thought this was it. He was going to tell me that he couldn’t take another chance on me, on us.
Instead he shocked me as he linked our hands together. My heart swelled at his gesture, and a smile immediately graced my lips. Hope finally filled my chest as I waited.
“What does that mean for us?”
He looked down at our hands as he waited for me to respond.
“Do you want there to be an us?”
I had to put the ball in his court. I’d spent four years being selfish. Now it was my turn to be selfless. If he told me he didn’t want to pursue anything with me, it would gut me, but I’d respect his wishes. If he told me otherwise, I’d spend the rest of my life making up for breaking his heart.
“You have no idea how badly I want there to be an us. You are the best part of me, butterfly. You have no idea how much I’ve longed to have you back in my life.
I told myself when you returned, I’d give you space.
I’d leave you alone. But that got thrown out the window the moment you kept coming back to my room at night needing comfort for your pain. I want this life with you, Ainsleigh.”
His voice broke toward the end, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I let go of his hand and climbed into his lap, pulling him into my arms. I needed to feel his arms wrapped around me just as badly as I needed to wrap my arms around him. After all this time, this man still wanted me, and I couldn’t be happier to give our love a chance again.
His arms wrapped around my waist as he held me tight. I felt tears hit my shoulders as he burrowed his head against my neck.
I pulled back, scared for the reason for his tears.
“Why the tears, cowboy?” I asked as I wiped away the tears even though more kept falling.
“You just made me the happiest man alive. I never thought I’d get another chance with you, but I’m so happy I waited all this time. Waiting for you was worth every ounce of heartache the past four years,” Gentry softly replied before he pulled me back into his arms.
“I can’t wait to give us a try again, cowboy,” I admitted. Once those words were out, once that confession was spoken, I felt like my life was finally on the right track, and I’d do everything in my power to never hurt this man again.
I pulled back knowing I had another confession to make.
“I got an email today,” I told him as I pulled back so I could tell him to his face.
“What about?”
“A company I interviewed with in Virginia has a position open here in their Texas office. They want me to come in for another interview,” I told him, wary of his response.
“Is that what you want?”
“I love this ranch, and I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I can make it thrive even more than it already does. But, I’m curious to see what else is out there,” I admitted.
“I think you should go to the interview. It’s not like it’s set in stone. You’ll always wonder if you don’t,” he encouraged, and I loved him all the more for it.
“Thank you. You’re right. I’ll see what they have to say, and go from there.”
“You’ll do great. I’m sure of it.”
I loved the faith he had in me. I’d love nothing more than to spend more time with him out here and talk about the future, but the sun would set soon.
“We should get back. It’s going to be dark soon,” I suggested.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he replied as he wiped the remaining moisture off his face.
I stood and helped Gentry stand, then we got on the ATV to head back to the house.
We put up the ATV, and he walked me to the back door of the house.
“Sleep good, beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
Shivers covered my skin as his lips met my skin and stayed long after they were gone.
“Sleep good, cowboy,” I replied as I went inside and up to my room.
Dinner long forgotten. I couldn’t eat even if I tried.
That night I slept the best I had since the day I returned.