21. Victoria
VICTORIA
This was stupid. I was the one who told Josh I wanted to keep things professional, yet I was sulking around, waiting for him to appear like he always did with that little smile and calming presence.
I did this to myself.
He was giving me space because I had asked for it.
Plus, he didn’t have my phone or room number, so what did I expect? That he’d magically show up cause his spidey senses were tingling?
Nope, I made this bed, and I had to suffer in it.
It wasn’t even like I made the choice without considerable thought. The moment he was pulled from the end of the game, I knew he’d be upset. I understood on a personal level. I got it.
And I didn’t want to be another factor distracting him.
No, that was a cop-out.
He was a grown man and could decide whether or not he could handle adding me to his circle. Because we weren’t dating.
Not yet.
We were friends.
Barely.
Acquaintances that kissed.
I wanted to keep things professional because I was scared.
Because I didn’t feel like he was just an acquaintance.
I felt more than that, and I didn't want to.
So stopping things now before they progressed was the right choice.
We lived on opposite sides of the country. Our schedules were completely different. There was no future, so why waste both our time, even if only for a few days?
Okay, fine.
That wasn’t entirely all of the truth either.
Athletes were volatile creatures, with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. He had a low day and managed it better than expected, honestly.
But I’d dated players before. Their emotions were exhausting to navigate at the best of times.
How could I go through that long distance? How could I comfort him when I was three hours ahead? There’d be days he didn’t want to talk, and I’d internalize that and make it about me, about us.
I didn’t want to go through that again because I’d done it before and it had not ended well.
Could Josh be different? Sure.
Did I want to go through the heartache to find out? No.
So it wasn’t just one thing.
It was a well-informed decision that was in the best interest of myself. I’d like to think it was for him too, but I didn’t want to overstep.
We were only acquaintances who kissed, once, after all.
So, I was pacing my hotel room waiting for Cambrie so we could head over to the arena for the men’s game.
I liked to get there early, like hours early, and she didn’t mind. But she was taking her sweet time getting ready this morning.
My phone buzzed, and I checked it, expecting her, but it was another text from the unknown number.
UNKNOWN: Men’s hotel lobby get there ASAP
I stared at the message for several seconds before understanding clicked. Another prank?
I grabbed my bag and ran out of my room, heading for the elevators as I called Cambrie.
“I’m heading up now.”
“Meet me in the lobby,” I blurted.
“Okay? What’s going on?”
“Another prank. We’ve got to get to the men’s hotel now.”
“Oh?” her voice perked up. “Got it. I’m getting in now.”
I hung up and pressed the lobby button roughly seven times as the doors closed. It was a short ride over, but I didn’t want to miss whatever was in store this morning.
She was waiting for me as soon as I stepped out, and we fell into hurried steps together.
I glanced around the lobby as we headed outside, but no one seemed to be paying us any attention.
I didn’t want anyone else in the press to notice us and follow before we could get the exclusive on what was going on.
“Any ideas?”
“Nope, just to be in the lobby.” I explained as we hailed a cab. Fortunately, one pulled up almost immediately. “Four Seasons, please.”
“Was it the same unknown number?” she asked as we slowly made our way through downtown. Traffic wasn’t too bad since it was still early, but I wanted to beg the driver to hurry.
“Yeah, they never responded to me after the last one, so I wasn’t sure if they’d give us a heads-up or not.”
She pulled her camera from her bag and set it in her lap. “We’ll be ready.”
I nodded and turned to look out the window, counting the blocks until we arrived. I had to hope whoever was sending the message gave me enough time to get there.
I paid as we were pulling up to the hotel entrance and jumped out as soon as we came to a stop, Cambrie right behind me. I slowed as we got to the lobby, not wanting to get in trouble, and looked around.
“See anything?”
“No,” she spun slowly, in the opposite direction of me.
There were signs welcoming the men’s teams and fans to the tournament, but nothing out of place. I didn’t see any players either.
I pulled out my phone and sent a reply.
Victoria: I’m in the lobby, where should I be looking?
No reply.
Were we too late?
The ding of the elevators and quiet conversations from the sitting area where a few groups were waiting were the only sounds. I avoided looking toward the check-in area, not waiting for any employees to question us.
From down a hall, a door swung open and hit the wall with a bang. Cambrie and I shared a look before heading toward it.
A slow but steady trickle of men looking annoyed and put out, men I immediately recognized.
I glanced at Cambrie, but she already had the camera up. I approached the players with a smile. “Good morning, how is everyone feeling?”
Taz was the first to notice me and frowned. “Not great. What are you doing here?”
“I’m not quite sure. I got an anonymous tip to show up, but I haven’t seen anything yet.”
“It’s a good thing there’s only six floors,” a West player grumbled as he walked by.
“Eh, it’s a good warm-up.” An East player nudged him.
“Why are you guys taking the stairs?” I asked.
“The elevators are broken,” Taz replied.
I couldn’t stop my grin. “No, they’re not.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Yes, they are.”
I looked at Cambrie, who was trying not to laugh.
“We were just in the lobby—people were going in and out of them.”
“There were signs on our floor.” He closed his eyes and sighed. "Whoever's doing this better not reveal themselves until after we get home. I don’t think he can handle the revenge of fifty guys.”
“Are you sure it's not one of the women?”
He shrugged. “It could be.” He finally cracked a smile. “It would be genius if it was.”
“Well, good luck today. Hopefully, some light exercise doesn’t mess up the game.”
“Thanks,” he gave a short wave and joined the group walking past us.
Cambrie filmed it all, and I got some short responses as I let them know the elevators were perfectly operational.
“You’re kidding,” Schultz looked at me as if I was behind the prank.
“Nope, looks like both teams were the victims,” I laughed. “Again.”
“It has to be one of the women,” Hartman eyed me. “What do you know?”
“Nothing more than you, I promise.”
He huffed as Josh stepped out from the stairwell. He saw me and paused before smiling. “You work quick.”
I shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.”
He lifted his chin. “Oh, yeah? Just happened to be in the area?”
I nodded.
“With your camerawoman?” He eyed Cambrie, who waved from behind the lens.
“So this is twice now you’ve been at the scene of the crime, before anyone else,” he pointed out, making the players around us pause and look at me.
I put both hands up. “I’m not behind it! I just have a source.”
“Well, tell your source to stop,” Schultz snapped before walking away, and I laughed as he tossed another glare at me over his shoulder. He was the last to walk out, and the door slammed shut behind him.
“He’s grumpy in the morning.”
“Yes, he is.” Josh agreed before giving me a soft smile and my heart. . . did nothing. It remained unchanged.
Deny, deny, deny.
As long as I kept telling myself there was nothing there, I could ignore it. Pretend until this tournament was over and I got some distance, and it would eventually be true.
I realized I'd been quiet for too long and cleared my throat. “Good luck today. I’m supposed to remain neutral, but I’m rooting for you guys.”
“I’m telling,” Cambrie chuckled behind the camera, and I realized she’d just filmed that awkward interaction.
“We’re deleting that,” I pointed at her.
She zipped her lips, and I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks, I won’t spill your secret.” He gave me another smile, and I had to lock my knees. I was fine. Unaffected by the way the corners of his eyes crinkled.
“See ya,” I bit my lip as he turned and headed to the lobby.
Cambrie lowered the camera and scrunched her nose. “Why was that so awkward?”
I leaned against the wall. “Because of me.”
“What did you do?”
I closed my eyes and sighed before answering, “I told him we should keep things professional.”
“Ew, why?”
Because I’m a dummy.
“I thought it was for the best, long-term.”
We should probably get a taxi to the arena, but I wasn’t ready to go anywhere.
“Again, why?” She moved to lean next to me.
“Distance? His season is starting soon? Me hopefully getting assigned to a conflicting schedule?”
“Those are excuses, not valid reasons.”
“Why start something that’s doomed to fail?”
“It’s going to fail because you are both busy?”
“And live on opposite sides of the country,” I reminded her.
She turned to look at me, and I meekly met her gaze.
“Those are lame excuses. A real reason to keep things professional is if you aren’t interested in anything romantic with him.
If you realized you don’t feel safe with him.
If you two don’t align on something you can’t compromise on.
If you two want diametrically opposing things out of life.
Those are obstacles that cannot, and usually should not, be overcome. Distance is not one of those.”
I wasn’t ready to admit to myself, let alone anyone else, that he was the first man in a very long time to make me feel. . . anything really. I haven’t been attracted to anyone in years. I haven’t felt such immediate chemistry ever.
From that first interview his rookie year, I knew there was something different about him. He was one of the easiest people to talk to. It didn’t feel like I was there for an article. I was getting to know a friend.
The universe kept us apart for this long—maybe there was a reason for that.
Then again, maybe there was a reason we met again and were able to clear the air. Maybe I was taken off the women’s teams so I could spend more time getting to know him.
Ugh. I didn’t want to think like that. I didn’t want a crush to get in the way of the career I’d spent years building. It wasn’t easy earning the respect of my male colleagues, and I just know that if it got out that I was dating a player, they’d look at me differently.
Was that a part of my hesitation?
It shouldn’t matter.
I shouldn’t care what they thought of me. It was absolutely none of their business. They could date whomever they wanted, and so could I.
But it was in the back of my mind.
I didn’t want to be thought of as a jersey chaser, or for anyone to forget the years of work I’d done to get here once they saw me with Josh.
“Not to rush your internal dilemma, but the women’s game is in about an hour,” Cambrie coaxed next to me. “Might want to think about heading back toward the arena.”
I straightened and pushed away from the wall. “I don’t know what to do.”
She put her camera away and sorted her bag before meeting my eyes. “You need to do what’s best for you, but ask yourself if you can live with the not knowing.”
I scrunched my nose.
“Exactly,” she laughed lightly. “Yes, there’s a lot at stake. Your heart, namely. But stopping anything from happening doesn’t mean you won’t end up hurt. Not trying might be worse than not seeing if there’s something between you worth the hard work.”
She headed toward the lobby doors, and I slowly trailed, thinking it over. Could I go home at the end of this and never think of him again? Never wonder about what might have been?
No, I’d lose my mind.
But what if trying ends in devastation? A heartbreak I can’t recover from?
That might be worse.
She hailed a cab, and we climbed in, heading to the arena in silence.