9. Luke
LUKE
I knock on the door to Bertie’s dorm room. We’re still a few days away from graduation but decided that it made the most sense to go ahead and move her stuff to my mom’s place.
The door swings open and I’m not sure what I’m expecting but a frazzled looking Bertie isn’t it.
Normally she looks put together, even when she’s clearly stressed, but today her blond hair is up in a ponytail that has become lopsided and looks like it’s hanging on for dear life.
Her cotton shorts rest beneath her small bump that pokes out from beneath a cropped tank top.
My eyes dip lower and I grin when I find mismatched socks on her feet—a yellow pair with bees and a navy pair with footballs.
“We’re gonna have to fix that.” I point to the footballs.
“Huh?” Her brows knit adorably.
“The footballs—you need hockey sticks or pucks instead.”
She cracks a smile. “Probably a good idea.”
“Are you gonna let me in?” I ask, tapping the door she still holds onto.
She gives her head a shake and steps back. “Sorry. I meant to start packing up yesterday, but I was so tired and then I got up this morning and realized I forgot to get boxes.” She presses a hand to her forehead. “Pregnancy is kicking my ass.”
“Is everything okay?” Worry leaches into my tone.
“Yeah, it’s all normal. It just sucks.” She returns to packing up clothes.
“What can I help with?”
She points to a corner beside her desk. “Those boxes are ready to go.”
I pick up the first box, not expecting the weight of it and grunt.
“Sorry,” she says sheepishly. “That one’s books. I should’ve warned you.”
“It’s fine.” I adjust my grip. “Just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
I make the trip down to my truck and back up. The other two boxes aren’t that heavy so I’m able to carry both together.
When I get back to Bertie’s room, she’s taping the box of clothes shut. She exhales heavily and I can’t help but notice the dark circles under her eyes.
“Did you sleep okay?”
“Mostly. I had a bad dream about the baby, and it stressed me out.”
I settle on her bare mattress, and she stretches her legs out in front of her where she sits on the floor. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“It was silly. The baby was crying and nothing I did worked and I just…” She tucks a loose strand of hair from her ponytail behind her ear. “I felt like a failure. What if I’m not good at this?”
Her insecurities about becoming a mom break my heart. Bertie doesn’t see what a kind, caring, and downright brilliant woman she is. Any kid is going to be lucky to call her mom.
“I know you’re going to be amazing at it, but I also know that me saying those words isn’t going to magically erase your fears. But when you worry like this, I just want to remind you that you’re not alone. I’m right here with you, learning alongside you and supporting you.”
“I know.” She ducks her head. “Believe me, I know, but when the baby comes it’s going to be the same time your season is starting and I have no idea how paternity leave works in the NHL but regardless, you can’t take it.”
I rear back. “What do you mean?”
She gives me a sad look. “It’s your rookie season, Luke. You have to be there. You can’t afford to miss practices and games because of us.” She rubs her belly. “And that means you’ll be traveling and I’ll be alone with the baby.”
My brain begins to spiral. I didn’t consider the fact that the timing is so close to my season starting.
The baby is due right before the first practice is scheduled.
Somehow it didn’t click with me how closely the two overlap, and Bertie is unfortunately right, especially with this being my first season I can’t afford to not be there.
“We’ll figure it out,” I finally say, and I mean it. Whatever it takes, I’ll figure out how to do both. Give my team the best version of me and be there in every way Bertie needs.
“You can’t stretch yourself too thin, Luke.” Her hand stills on her belly and she smiles. “The baby is moving. Do you want to try to feel again?”
I’m off the bed and kneeling on the floor beside her before she can finish her question.
She yanks her t-shirt up and grabs my hand, pressing it to her bare stomach. “Right there,” she says excitedly. Her big blue eyes look up at me with wonder. “Do you feel that?” Disappointment floods me and she must see it written plainly on my face, because she moves her hand. “What about here?”
My head drops. “No, I don’t feel anything yet.”
Her shoulders fall. “Oh. Maybe after another week, you’ll feel it.”
I let my hand drop away from her stomach. “It’ll be worth it when I can.”
With a sigh, she says, “I better finish packing.” She stretches to reach for another box to assemble but I grab it before she can.
“I’ve got it.” I put it together and secure it with packing tape. “I’ll run this one out.” I scoop up the last one she finished.
“It shouldn’t be too much more.”
“Take your time. Do you want me to run and get you a Sprite?”
Her eyes widen with desire. “Yes, please.”
Eager to please her, I make the trek down with the box and drive to the closest McDonald’s. If something as simple as a fountain soda makes her happy then I’m more than happy to get her one.
The lady at the drive-thru gives a soft laugh as she hands me the cup. “You really like Sprite, don’t you?”
I smile as I slip a koozie on to keep the cup from sweating. I spotted it at the grocery store the other day and thought it would be good to keep in my truck whenever I pick one of these up for Bertie.
“It’s for my…” I get tripped up, because I can’t exactly say girlfriend, but I don’t know what else to call her. “It’s for my girl. She’s pregnant and this is her craving.”
“Ah.” The woman nods. “I remember those days. You take care now, hon.”
On my drive back, I go slow and really try to take it all in.
I can’t believe my time at Aldridge University is coming to an end. I’m going to be sad to say goodbye to this time in my life. I’ve done a lot of learning and growing while I was here.
The old ivy-covered buildings that were once intimidating now feel as familiar as the back of my hand.
Reaching Bertie’s dorm, I find an open space and park. It’s a nice day on campus and a few girls from her dorm loiter on the lawn, some reading and some just soaking in the sun.
“Hey,” one of the girls calls to me as I head for the main set of doors.
“Hi,” I say politely and feel my face warm.
I once had a girl tell me, “For one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen you’re really shy.” She said it like it was a bad thing, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being introverted.
“You look familiar,” she goes on with a flirty smile.
“Uh…” I never do well with conversations like this. I don’t want to be rude and outright ignore her, but I need to get back to Bertie.
“Have I seen you at Harvey’s?” she asks, referring to the preferred bar near campus.
I rub the back of my head with my free hand. “Probably?” It comes out as a question.
She sits up from where she was leaning in the grass. “You’re on the hockey team, right?”
“Well, I was. I’m graduating.”
She perks up even more, and maybe I’m wrong but I swear she does something with her arms that squeezes her boobs together until they’re practically spilling out of her tank. “Me too. Are you staying in the area?”
“Um … for the summer. Then I’m moving to Nashville.”
The door into the dorm opens but I’m frozen, panicking. I don’t want to be rude, but I want to get to Bertie.
Her eyes shine with excitement. “Talk about a coincidence. I’m going to be in Nashville too. Maybe we should plan to hang out?”
“Sorry, Brianna. He’s going to be too busy with dad duty.”
I jerk my head at Bertie’s voice and find her standing there holding the door open, one hand on her small bump.
I’m a little stunned that she’s let the cat out of the bag.
Despite the weather warming she’s been wearing sweaters to hide her belly.
I guess she decided with graduation so soon that it doesn’t matter anymore.
“Oh.” Brianna’s face turns a bright shade of red. “I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
Bertie doesn’t sound annoyed. If anything, she seems amused.
“Come on.” She gestures me to come in. “I’m almost done.”
I don’t have to be told twice. I scurry into the building.
“I’m sorry I got held up,” I say, following her to the building’s elevator. “She started talking to me and I didn’t want to be rude and—” Already I’m spiraling as my brain concocts at least ten different ways I could’ve handled that situation and each one is probably better than how I actually did.
Bertie laughs and my ears get hot with embarrassment. I hate that I ramble when I’m nervous.
“You don’t need to defend yourself to me. It’s not like we’re together.”
As soon as the doors slide open, she’s speed walking toward her room.
“Hey.” I grab her wrist to stop her outside of it. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” She blinks innocently.
“Try to lessen whatever this is.” I gesture between us with my free hand.
“Words aren’t easy for me, but I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I like you.
I would make you my girlfriend in a heartbeat if I didn’t think it would send you running for the hills.
” She sucks her cheeks in at my words. “I don’t want to talk to other girls.
I’m just not good in situations like that and don’t want to be rude.
And frankly, the way you showed up down there I’m starting to wonder if you’re jealous. ”
“I’m not jealous,” she says too quick. “I just wanted my soda.” She holds up the cup. “That’s it.”
God, this woman. She’s infuriating but in the best way. Maybe I’m only seeing what I want, but I think deep down she likes me too and that terrifies her, and considering how her parents behave, and how her last relationship went, I can’t even blame her for being scared.
Lucky for her, I’m a very patient man.
I’ll wait as long as it takes for her to realize I’m not going anywhere and that my feelings are true not transactional.
Letting her go, I say, “Let’s get the last of your stuff.”
It would be easy to call her bluff, to threaten to go back and get that chick’s number. It might be fun to see her puff up with jealousy, but I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t want to play mind games.