20. Bertie
BERTIE
Daire and Luke—with the help of Cree who was also on their hockey team—load up the small moving truck. I don’t feel as scared as I thought I might, but I suspect that feeling might not have hit me yet.
Sammy runs through the front yard, giggling with a red ball. Every time I look at him it’s hard not to think about my own baby and how soon it’ll be them that I’m watching.
“God, I’m going to miss you so much.” Rosie lays her head on my shoulder. “Daire and I have talked about moving to Nashville. We didn’t decide one way or another so maybe I need to bring it up again.”
I shake my head. “You’re settled here with Sammy and there’s his mom’s family to think about too.”
Sammy’s mom passed in a tragic car accident not too long after Daire first learned about his existence.
“You’re right,” Rosie sighs sadly. “It would just be so fun to be able to get together any time we wanted and have our boys to grow up together.”
Our boys. It’s so strange sounding to hear that, but it’s true. We’re going to be raising our kids at the same time. Neither of us planned it that way, but maybe the universe knew we’d need each other.
A few minutes later, Luke closes the roll-up door on the truck and hops down. “That’s all of it.”
There wasn’t much for either of us, and we wouldn’t have even needed the smallest size moving truck if it weren’t for all the generous gifts for the baby.
The guys get to work hooking up the trailer for Luke’s truck—because I begged for him to bring it along, and I’ll drive the minivan to Nashville.
We opted to leave my SUV here for now and Rosie and Daire volunteered to bring it up the first time they visit.
I know it won’t be long until we see them, what with their wedding right around the corner, and the fact that I highly doubt Rosie can resist being nosy and checking out our new place, but that doesn’t make this goodbye any easier.
Rosie sniffles beside me like her thoughts have drifted in the same direction.
Once the task of loading the truck onto the trailer is finished, the guy’s exchange hugs and claps on the back.
“Ugh.” Rosie pulls me into her arms. “I hate being so emotional. It’s not even that far, but I’m going to miss you so much.”
I squeeze her back. “I’m going to miss you too.”
She pulls back and gives my elbows a squeeze. “Remember, the minute you start feeling contractions, call me. I’m coming. Got it?”
“I will,” I promise.
She hugs me again and lets go. “Get out of here before I start sobbing and embarrass myself.”
I say goodbye to the guys and hug Sammy before I get behind the wheel of the minivan. I’ve barely started the car when there’s a tap on the windshield. I look over to find Luke. He looks way too good in a simple gray cotton shirt, jeans, and a backwards baseball cap.
“Be careful, okay?”
“I should be saying that to you. You’re the one driving the truck.”
He grins and his eyes crinkle at the corners. I want to reach out and touch those delicate lines, but somehow, I manage to keep my hands to myself.
“I’ll be careful, B.” He pulls something from his pocket and holds it out to me in a closed fist. “For the road.”
I open my palm and he drops the round plastic ball into it. Eagerly, I pop off the lid and reveal the fake tattoo inside. A butterfly with pink and yellow wings.
“I’ll put it on you later,” he says and winks.
He fucking winks at me.
He walks away before I can reply but looks back over his shoulder to find me staring at him open-mouthed.
Shaking my head, I recap the lid and put it in the center console.
The rental truck starts up, and I take that as my cue to back out.
I wave to Rosie who holds onto Sammy with Daire’s arm draped around her shoulders.
Unshed tears burn my eyes, but I dam them back.
There’s no way I can drive if I turn into a weeping, sobbing mess.
I take a deep breath and watch the rearview mirror for Luke to pull out behind me.
Change is good, I remind myself.
It’s what my mom told me when they suddenly moved me from one boarding school to another when I was young.
The last thing I want is for you to get complacent, Beatrice. You’ll thank us for this one day.
Maybe it’s bad to think of that situation right now, because I had never felt grateful for that change, but this is different. This is for Luke’s career and for our baby. Besides, he could’ve had to move all the way across the country, so I feel like I need to count my blessings.
Luke had already put the address into my Apple Maps, so I turn my music up and pay attention to the instructions whenever they pop up.
Eventually, we reach Nashville and turn onto a more rural road.
The houses are large, similar in size to what I grew up in, with acres of land in between.
I follow the curve of the road, continuing for several more miles.
The closer I get to the lot marked as my destination, the more nervous I become.
We’re about to be living with people we’ve never met.
Granted, we won’t be in their house and instead in a garage apartment, but it’s enough to have me feeling out of sorts.
“You have arrived at your destination,” the navigation guide says in the cheeriest of voices.
I turn down the tree-lined driveway and Luke follows behind in the moving truck.
Eventually, the trees thin and things open up, revealing a large farmhouse-style home with a wraparound porch.
Off to the side of the house is a massive six-car garage that I assume houses the apartment above.
With that big of a garage, I think our space will be a decent size. Plenty for the three of us.
Three of us.
It’s crazy how easily I now think of the baby as a part of us.
I’m not quite sure where to park, but I figure I should avoid blocking any of the garage bays, so I park off to the side and Luke pulls in beside.
I take a deep breath, counting to ten before I shut the vehicle off and get out.
It’s only been a few hours in the car, but my legs scream in protest at having been in one position for that amount of time.
I didn’t make any stops to pee, but suddenly, if I don’t make it to a bathroom I just know I’m going to pee myself.
My eyes widen in horror at the thought of it.
Luke comes around the side of the minivan and takes one look at my face and panic fills his own. “What’s wrong? You’re not in labor, are you?”
“I have to pee,” I whine. “Like right now or I’m going to pee my pants.”
A feminine laugh sounds and I swing my head to the left, my mouth popping open in horror as the couple I’m assuming can be no one but Tanner and his wife approach. A four or five-year-old girl runs around the front yard, spinning in circles while a toddler boy stumbles after her.
“Come on,” the woman says, reaching her hand out to me. “I’ll show you to the bathroom.”
I have to pee so bad, I don’t even protest. I just say thank you and let her usher me into their main house and to a powder room that is, thankfully, right off the foyer.
It doesn’t take me long and I wash up my hands. I half expect her to be waiting outside the door for me, but instead I spot her outside on the front porch watching her kids tear through the yard while her husband speaks with Luke.
I slip outside, not wanting her to look back and spot me through the window and think I’m trying to nose around.
She looks over her shoulder at the sound of the door and gives me a smile. “Better?”
“You have no idea.” I gesture to her kids. “Well, maybe you do.”
She laughs and extends a hand to me. “I’m Kayla. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Bertie,” I reply.
“Is that short for anything?” she asks.
“Beatrice, but I prefer Bertie.”
“Not Bea?” She questions.
“No.” I shrug, stopping beside her on the top step. I wrap my hands around my bump. “Just Bertie.”
“How are you feeling?” she asks, nodding at my bump.
“Very pregnant,” I reply. “I think my equilibrium is off.”
“It definitely gets that way,” she agrees. “But you’re due soon, right?”
“Middle of September,” I reply. “But the baby is measuring big.”
She throws her head back and laughs before she gestures at Luke. “I wonder why.”
She takes the stairs down to the walkway that weaves around to the driveway. I follow her and make introductions with her husband Tanner.
“Thank you guys so much for giving us a place to stay,” I say with a smile that’s a little shaky. My nerves are getting the best of me with meeting new people today. Their kids seem oblivious to us, still running and laughing in the front yard.
“Don’t mention it,” Tanner says, throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders. “Happy to help out the rookie.”
Luke’s answering smile is just as nervous as my own. I’ve always known he’s shy, but apparently, I’m beginning to fit right in with him.
Clapping his hands together, Tanner says, “Let me help you get this unloaded.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” Luke insists. “I can handle it.”
Tanner gives his shoulder a light shove. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’ll go faster with both of us.”
Kayla turns to me, her smile kind and her eyes warm. She can’t be that much older than me, I don’t think she looks quite thirty yet, but she exudes this motherly feminine energy. I suppose it could be because she is a mom, but I feel like it’s more than that.
“Do you want to help me get started on dinner?”
I try not to cringe since I’m sure she’s just trying to include me. “I’m warning you now, I’m not a very good cook.”
She loops her arms through mine. “That’s okay. You can keep me company. It’ll be nice to talk to an adult that’s not my husband. Kids,” she calls out. “Inside. Now.”
They don’t listen at first and she snaps her fingers, giving them a look that sends them barreling into the house.
“My mom always told me kids need to be a little bit afraid of you.” She holds up her fingers just a smidge apart. “I didn’t think she was right until I had my own.”
She leads me through the house, and I have to say it’s not what I expected, in a good way. It’s a warm, lived in home with blankets piled on the couch and kids toys everywhere. It’s not cold or sterile like the home I grew up in. Memories are very clearly made here.
It shocks me even more when Kayla tells me she’s making sloppy joes.
“I thought those were only in movies.”
She whips toward me so fast that her hair, that she’s braided out of her way while she cooks, goes flying over her shoulder. “What?”
My face is beet red, I’m sure of it. “I … uh … I’ve never had sloppy joes before. I’ve only ever seen them in that Mary-Kate and Ashley movie.”
“Oh.” She snaps her fingers. “It Takes Two.”
“That’s the one.”
There’s a commotion behind us and I turn to find the older daughter dangling a fire truck above the toddler’s head.
Kayla sighs. “Lola, give your brother his fire truck back.”
“He keeps hitting me with it,” she whines.
“Oliver.” Kayla plants her hands on her hips. “Are you using your truck to hit your sister?” He pouts and she shakes her head. To me she says, “That look means, yes he is.”
“Mommy—”
“Oliver, time out chair.” She points to a chair I hadn’t noticed before that faces the corner. The boy, shockingly walks over and plops himself in it.
“How old are they?” I ask, watching as Lola drops herself in front of a doll house and begins to play.
“Five and three. Tanner is begging me for another, and don’t get me wrong I love being a mom, but with his travel schedule I don’t think I can handle three kids on my own.
Two feels good. I have two arms and two legs.
I can manage.” She gets back to work on preparing dinner. “I hope I’m not scaring you.”
“You’re not.”
Maybe it should be scaring me, but if anything, I’m finding it entertaining, so I guess that’s good.
She eyes the clock on the microwave. “Another minute, Oliver.”
“Okay,” he says in a pouty voice.
“I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy making this move so quick, and I’m sorry I didn’t think about it sooner, but I figured with the baby you might prefer to get settled now.
We’ve fixed up the apartment because of family visiting, but it’s solely yours for as long as you guys are with us so if you want to paint anything or do anything special to make it yours go for it. ”
I wave away her concern. “I’m sure it’s great.”
At this point in my pregnancy I don’t think I have the energy to personalize it. But it’s not forever. Luke and I … I guess we’ll eventually get our own place, or separate places near each other.
I run my fingers through my hair in agitation.
I’m not sure why I can’t just accept us being together as a real couple. I’m aware he wants more, and it’s not that I don’t, but I just … I let my thoughts trail off.
Now’s not the time for me to dwell on such things.