Chapter 21
Zander opened the car door for Penny again when they got back to his place.
But instead of helping her out, he leaned inside, slanted his body over hers, and crashed their mouths together.
Penny cupped his face as Zander took the kiss deep, like he was making up for every minute of the drive they’d spent not touching.
She let it overtake her, pushing aside her to-do lists and responsibilities until her brain registered only the echo of champagne on Zander’s lips and the pressure of his hand sweeping over her waist to unclick her seat belt.
He broke the kiss with a groan and pressed his forehead to hers. “Was it just me, or was that the longest drive ever?”
Penny laughed as Zander tugged her out of the car, closing her door before pushing her against it.
His mouth went to her neck, where he scraped his teeth against her skin with perfect pressure as his hands gripped her hips.
Penny snaked her hands beneath his T-shirt and let herself explore the broad softness of his stomach and the thick hair on his chest.
He moaned and pulled back, releasing his grip on her hip to run his fingers gently over her cheek. “Is this all okay? I haven’t done this in a long time. I haven’t wanted to do this in a long time. And now it’s like the floodgates are bursting.”
Penny moved his hand under her dress, watching his jaw drop open as she pushed his fingers against her underwear. “You’re not the only one with bursting floodgates.”
His face tipped back in a laugh that filled the darkening sky above them, where a few swallows dipped and dove. Then his fingers dragged up and down, pressing into her through the fabric, and he wasn’t laughing anymore. The intent in his eyes had shifted to something predatory.
“Come on,” he said gruffly. “We need to go inside.”
After grabbing the picnic supplies from the back, Zander guided Penny into the house.
“I just need to put this stuff away,” he said, riffling through the basket.
“Because I plan to be busy for the rest of the night.” He was throwing cheeses into the refrigerator when he stopped and turned.
“But you didn’t eat much. Are you hungry? I should feed you.”
She watched the furrow deepen on his brow, the nervous twitch of his fingers, and thought of the urge she’d had lately to parade this man through the streets.
To take him from shop to shop, showing everyone who he was now.
Probably who he’d always been deep down: someone who was sensitive, kind, and generous to a fault.
A person with such a big heart, it was easy to bruise.
“I’m sorry.”
Zander’s face fell, one hand gripping the back of his neck as he watched her. “Sorry? What for? Penny, if this is moving too fast—”
“No.” She cut him off with a shake of her head. “It’s not that. I’m just sorry that I never tried to know you during the summers that you were here. I’m sorry you were going through something and didn’t get the love and support you deserved.”
“Penny.” He sighed her name like a song, coming close enough to run his fingers over her hair.
“It’s okay. It was rough sometimes, but it wasn’t all bad.
I had friends in Detroit, even if they were terrible influences.
I had good times with my mom when she was doing well; I had teachers who’d slip me books I might like and beg me to do the slightest bit of work so they didn’t have to fail me.
And I had Mal, and then I had Winter. And he gave me the chance to decide what kind of person I was going to be, how I was going to define myself. ”
“Is it selfish of me,” she asked, “that I’m glad you had to come back?”
His lips brushed her cheek, then her ear, where he whispered, “I’ll tell you a secret.” His swallow was slow, like he was preparing for something. “Sometimes I think I’m glad I had to come back, too.”
Before she could ask anything more, Zander’s mouth trailed across Penny’s jaw, finding her lips again to kiss her slowly, like a discovery. Tender, like a thank-you.
He drew back and held her face in his hands. “We should talk about what this is.”
This. The two of them, and the bad idea they kept jumping into with fervor.
“I don’t want to pretend it doesn’t mean something to me,” he continued. “This feels like way more than a hookup or a fling. But I’ll be back in Boston in less than two months, so I also don’t want to pretend this can be something it’s not.”
Come the end of summer, he’d be back in Boston, and she’d be dealing with whatever happened after the festival.
If they managed to pull it all off as she hoped, maybe she’d be finally addressing the loan and finding fresh footing.
If not, she’d be managing the fallout. Either way, she’d do it alone.
Nothing with Zander changed any of that, and maybe it was better that way. Better to know when something would end, and her normal life would start back up. And until then, she could take hold of something good, and fun, and freeing.
It was tempting to call it a fling. Easier on her heart at the end of the summer. But Zander was right—it felt like more, and Penny couldn’t help but believe she deserved to see it as more, too. Even if it wouldn’t last.
“So we let it be real,” she said with a solid resolve in her chest. “Even if it’s temporary.”
A thumb brushed her cheek. “Real, but temporary.” Zander nodded, but his frown persisted. “It’s going to be hard, when the summer is over. I don’t want to cause you pain later.”
Penny shrugged. “Sometimes pain just means you had something worth missing. I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of things, weighing pros and cons and making the right decisions. Maybe I should…” She bit her lip and fluttered her eyelashes. “Be a little bad?”
Whatever resistance Zander was still holding wavered as his eyes narrowed on her mouth. For a moment, he just stared; then he looked back at her with a grin.
“You want to be bad, huh?”
Penny warmed at the obvious shift in his mood and dark intent in his eyes. “I’ve always been such a good girl.” She pushed out her lower lip in a pout. It was a little ridiculous, but it made Zander’s nostrils flare. “Maybe I need to try something different.”
He pressed a thumb on her bottom lip. “Maybe you do. Get on the table.”
“The—what?”
His brows arched. “You never told me whether or not you were hungry, but I just realized that I am. Starving, in fact.”
Zander brushed against her as he plucked a small jar of wildflowers from the table and set it down on the counter; then he crowded her space as his hands slid up her bare arms.
He toyed with one of the thin straps of her dress, looking at Penny with hooded eyes.
When she nodded, Zander pulled both straps down her shoulders.
He removed her dress slowly, watching each inch of her skin as it was revealed, bending to taste the curve of her neck, the swell of her breast, and, in a move that made Penny gasp his name, closing his teeth on her nipple over her bra.
When the bunched fabric of her dress gathered at her hips, Zander tugged it over and down, whispering a low, growled “fuck” when the material fell to her feet.
He brushed her lips with his. “I believe I asked you to get on the table.”
“But—” She finally registered his last words, about being starving. “You wouldn’t.”
His chuckle was dark and enticing. “I would.”
He closed his hands around her waist and lifted her to the edge of the table, then smiled and ran his fingers over her hips. “I want to make sure we do this all the right way. Like I said before, it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone. All my tests are negative.”
“Mine, too.” Penny let her legs fall open to make more space for him. “I’m on birth control, but I want to use a condom to be totally safe.”
“Sounds good.” Zander’s hands drew up her waist, then lightly brushed against the sides of her breasts. “What about other stuff? Do you like oral? If yes, are you comfortable without extra protection for that?”
Penny reached back to undo the clasp of her bra, then shrugged the whole thing off as Zander’s gaze devoured her. “You mean is it okay if you go down on me on your kitchen table?”
“Yeah, Becker.” He palmed her breasts, plumping them in his hands as he licked his lips. “That’s exactly what I mean.”
And maybe Penny should have demurred, but Zander had her feeling free, like she could be anyone when it was just the two of them. So she spread her legs wider in invitation. “Only if you promise to change the tablecloth after.”
A bark of a laugh. “You have yourself a deal.”
He bent his head, bringing his lips and tongue to one nipple, then the other, always glancing up, gauging her reactions, adjusting his pressure and speed until she was grappling with the back of his T-shirt.
“You’re overdressed,” she whined.
He caught her mouth in a fast kiss and yanked his shirt up and over his head, letting it drop to the floor. Zander’s chest and stomach were broad and soft, covered in dark hair she wasted no time in touching. “You’re beautiful.”
He ran his hands reverently up her thighs, letting his thumbs just barely touch her underwear.
“Christ.” Zander shuddered as his fingers touched where she was damp and needy.
He pressed his palm against her. “Tell me this is for me.” With a tug and a whoosh, her underwear was tossed to the side.
Then Zander pulled up a chair and took a seat, hooked his fingers under her knees, and dragged her to the edge of the table.
“This is—” Penny gasped. “I’ve never done it quite like this.”
He grinned from between her knees. “I do like to leave an impression.”
Penny couldn’t muster an answer, because Zander started touching her, running his thumb through her wetness, then using his hands to expose her to him, groaning before he dove in.
“Jesus,” he murmured against her. “So sweet, just like I knew you’d be.”
His mouth moved on her desperately, as if seeking the satisfaction that only her writhing could bring.
His movements and sounds, his pure enthusiasm, confirmed he was enjoying this as much as she was.
Which was a whole hell of a lot, especially when he hoisted her leg over his shoulder to go deeper, fucking her with his tongue like he’d been born for it.
Zander grasped Penny’s ass, holding her body to his mouth like a holy offering, as she massaged her own breasts with one hand while the other grasped Zander’s hair, urging him on.
It had been two years since she’d been in bed with Henry, but longer since she’d been this hungry for it, chasing an orgasm that started in the tips of her toes and crackled like lightning through her body.
When his tongue finally landed on her clit, swiping as she whimpered his name, she knew she wouldn’t last much longer.
Then Zander closed his lips around her and sucked hard as he slid one long, thick finger inside her, and Penny’s climax hit her fast. Shooting stars streamed across her vision as she shook in Zander’s strong grip.
Slowly, she drifted back to reality: the hard table beneath her, the bright yellow cabinets, and Zander, showering her face and neck with kisses, telling her she was beautiful, thanking her for giving that to him. Penny let herself float, blessedly relaxed.
After a moment she cupped his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss, getting a possessive thrill from the taste of herself on his lips.
“So,” she said with a smile. “What’s for dessert?”
Zander offered her a hand and pulled her off the table, then ran a palm down her bare spine. “Why don’t you come upstairs with me and find out.”