Chapter 17
Earl
This is not what I want to be doing with my time.
I cannot stress this enough. When I was approached to provide a service tonight, I thought it would be like any other event here in town.
The townspeople would dance, they would eat, they would mate, and then they'd be on their way, I'd be paid and would do the same.
Instead, I'm dealing with this bullshit.
The moment things started to go sideways for the newly paired townspeople, I got nervous. Being gifted with the ability to shift into anything made of wood at will is weird, sure, but it definitely pays the bills.
You need a big fancy Christmas tree for the town center? I'm your man. I just stand out there during peak hours and grow a few baubles, and I'm good to go.
You need an ornate wood trellis for a garden party for you and your friends? No problem. A cute little wooden dais with backdrop to be the centerpiece of your mating ceremony? Really why I got into this line of work.
The woman that was part of the ceremony tonight seemed a bit tense as she walked around me, and I could sense her energy throughout the crowd as well. You see, after you stand on me for a bit, I get pretty good at recognizing you.
The trouble that occurred was definitely unfortunate; what seemed like some sort of governing party for the bee shifters appearing uninvited, trying to block love? Not on my watch.
If everything hadn't been handled so peacefully the way it was, if the offending party hadn't backed off so quickly, I would have gotten involved. I was seconds away from doing something to ensure the mated group got their special day.
Everything seemed to calm down after that though, even after I moved over here and changed form to be the center of attention for the reception. But like I said, our lovely bride never seemed quite relaxed enough.
As soon as the last groom stepped off of me to pursue his woman, I got myself ready in case I was needed.
A lot of the time when you're dealing with people that aren't from Trash Haven, the element of surprise is your most powerful weapon.
Everybody in the crowd knows who I am, I'm as old as dirt and I've been involved with basically every life event this town has had since I moved here so many years ago. This is my family.
When somebody threatens my family, I don't take that lightly. Especially when the family in question is three harmless little honeybees just trying to celebrate their new queen.
I couldn't tell exactly what was happening when the screams first started, so I shifted enough to regain my sight so that I may watch and make a plan if needed. To my horror, it was the ground itself that began the attack.
Soft patches of earth begin to implode, allowing a vast network of angry bees to insert themselves right into the middle of the lovely party that I helped create. These bees were not docile like the ones I'm here to support, no. They were angry and immediately gave me a deep-rooted headache.
With the crowd distracted by the ground attack, a greater threat presented itself. A human-sized honeybee wearing a gods-awful crown dropped from the sky, right in front of our bride.
I am unsure why the three groomsmen are unable to get up and assist their lovely mate, but clearly, they have been tampered with, because I can sense them lying prostrate against their will.
I love nothing more than watching the citizens of Trash Haven find their happily ever afters, so I do not hesitate to insert myself right into the middle of the drama.
I figure the best way to be helpful is to—ah, shit.
Somebody definitely just lit me on fire in their mad dash to help. Excuse me for a moment, would you?