31. hayes
THIRTY-ONE
hayes
I ’m trying to focus, really, I am. But everything about tonight is wrong.
The restaurant is luxurious, of course, but it feels suffocating tonight. The heavy linen tablecloth, the delicate glassware, and the dim lighting all feel like a theater set, and I’m stuck playing a role I don’t want. My back is straight, my tie perfectly adjusted, my smile rehearsed. And across the table from me sits Raquel, a glass of sparkling water delicately held in her slender fingers, her face lit by the warm glow of the candle between us.
It should be a night to discuss plans—about the wedding, the details, the future. But all I can think about is Fallon. The way her eyes looked when I confessed, and my heart twisted when I realized what I would lose. The weight of everything I’m about to give up is gnawing at me.
Raquel’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Hayes,” she says, her tone cool but familiar. “Are you listening?”
I blink, focusing on her for the first time in a while. She’s talking about the wedding, of course. About the dress, the venue, the date. “Yeah, sorry,” I mutter, taking a sip of my wine to steady myself. “I was just... lost in thought.”
Raquel tilts her head, studying me. She’s always been perceptive, even when I didn’t want her to be. Aside from the disaster we were while sleeping together, she’s always been a friend. She knows me well. “What’s bothering you?” she asks, a small frown pulling at the corners of her lips. “You’ve been distant all night.”
I force a smile, though it feels more like a grimace. “It’s nothing, really. Just a lot on my mind.”
She doesn’t buy it. “It’s the girl from the banquet, isn’t it?”
I freeze. My heart thuds painfully in my chest as I meet her gaze, sharp and probing. She has always read me like a book, and I’ve never been good at lying to her. But the truth... The truth feels like an anchor around my neck, and I can’t bring myself to admit it.
Raquel’s lips parted, her voice softening. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
Raquel's empathy is palpable, her understanding of my struggle evident in her eyes. She knows me well, and her compassion is a balm to my aching heart. I look down at my hands, unable to meet her eyes. “I… I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I admit quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I fell in love with her so quickly. It shocked me. It really did. I didn’t want it. Fuck, I didn’t even think it was possible for me to fall in love. But when I look at her... I feel something I’ve never felt before. Something real.”
Raquel is quiet for a long moment, and when she finally speaks, her tone is calm, almost resigned. “Life’s too short to live like that, Hayes. I won’t be part of you not being with the person you love. You should go after her if she means that much to you. This marriage...” She pauses, her expression unreadable. “It was always just a deal. I know why we’re doing this. I went to your father because I’m afraid of my own. But you don’t have to live like this. You don’t have to live for your father’s legacy or mine. Not anymore.”
I blink, completely stunned by her sudden change of heart. “What are you saying?”
Raquel took a deep breath, pushing her wine glass away, her fingers trembling slightly as she wiped her palms on her napkin. “If I can stand up to my father and tell him I’m pregnant... then you can walk away, too. We’ve been living for them our entire lives, Fitz.” She places her hand over mine. “It’s time to stop.”
My brow furrows. “But what about you? I know your father about as well as I know mine?—”
“It’ll be fine,” she says, cutting me off before I can finish. Her eyes flicker, a small, almost imperceptible sadness crossing her features, but she quickly masked it with a smile. “I don’t need to keep playing this part, Hayes. I never wanted to marry you, but I understood why it had to happen. But I won’t be the reason why you don’t fight for what you want. I won’t be the reason you spend the rest of your life hating yourself for not being with the person you love.”
I sit here, stunned into silence. Everything she’s saying is unraveling my entire plan, the walls I’ve built around myself to protect me from falling apart. I wasn’t prepared for this, for her understanding. For her kindness.
“You’re willing to do this for me?” I whisper, the disbelief in my voice impossible to hide.
Raquel nods. “Yes. I’m willing to do this. And you deserve to be with her. So, you don’t have to keep up this charade. Your contract…” She leans in closer, lowering her voice. “It has a Morality Clause. If I back out of the wedding, then you’re free. You don’t have to follow through. Your father can’t make you.”
I stare at her, the words sinking in slowly. The weight of it all is staggering. She’s giving me an out. She’s letting me off the hook. This is my chance to walk away. To free myself from the chains of my father’s expectations. The gravity of this decision, the enormity of the choice before me, is almost suffocating.
“Will you be okay on your own?” I ask quietly, trying to understand her decision. “I know this can’t be easy for you.”
Raquel smiles faintly, though her eyes seemed distant, lost in a memory. “I’ve never been the one for all of this. I’ve always been expected to follow the rules, to do what’s right for the family. But I’m done with that now. I’ll handle it. I’ll figure it out.” Her determination is unwavering, her resolve to break free from the constraints of her past is inspiring.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “I promise I’ll be there for you if things go wrong with your father. I can be there when you tell him.”
“I might take you up on that offer,” she says through a laugh. “Go find your girl, Hayes. And don’t look back.”
The weight on my shoulders lifts. I feel like I can breathe again for the first time in a long time. I push back my chair, standing up quickly, my pulse racing with the urgency of everything that just happened.
As I weave through the restaurant, I try to push aside the lingering doubts, the fear that I’ve just made a mistake. But there’s no time for second-guessing.
I need to find Fallon.
* * *
I walk out onto the sidewalk, the night air biting at my skin as I rush toward the street. The city feels so empty without her, and my heart aches with every step I take.
I stop short when I see them. Fallon, Andrew, and Jace are standing by the curb, talking in hushed voices. When they see me, Andrew and Jace step back, leaving Fallon standing there alone.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
She confidently strolls toward me. “I know everything. About the marriage. The contract. The grant. The sacrifices you made. I know what you were willing to do to protect me from your father’s wrath.” She’s less than a foot away from me now, her chin tipped up defiantly. “But I’ve handled it. I’ve told your father to come at me with all he’s got. I’m not running. I’m not going anywhere.”
I stand frozen, my eyes wide, disbelief and relief fighting for dominance in his gaze. “Fallon…” I say her name like a prayer. But my face twists with concern. “I never wanted you to know all of this. I wanted to protect you from it. I didn’t want you to have to carry any of this weight to understand how deep it runs. It’s not just me, Fallon. It’s everything. Everything I’ve been forced to carry my entire life. And I wanted you to be free of it.”
“I know,” she says softly, her hands trembling as she reaches up to cup my face. “I know all of it, Hayes. But we can’t carry this weight separately anymore. Not when I’ve always felt so much for you and still do.”
My breathing hitches, my jaw tightening as I search her eyes for some sign—some flicker of truth. “Fallon, I don’t know what to do with all of this. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to drag you into this... this mess of my family, my obligations. I didn’t want you to have to choose between me and your dreams.”
She shakes her head, her fingers tracing the sharp lines of my jaw. My heart races. I’m so deeply in love with this girl that I feel I might melt into her touch.
“You don’t get it, Fitz,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. “I never had to choose. Not between you and my dreams. Because when I’m with you, I feel like I’m whole. Like I’m finally not carrying everything alone.”
My hands find her waist, pulling her just a little closer. “You don’t know how hard this is for me,” I murmur. “I’m supposed to protect you, Fallon.”
I rest my forehead against hers, and I can feel the beat of her heart racing in time with mine. The distance between us has melted away, and now there is nothing but the two of us standing in the heart of a storm we haven’t yet learned to navigate together.
“Fitz,” she breathes, pulling back just slightly so I can see the vulnerability in her eyes. “I love you.”
The words hang in the air for a beat, both of us holding onto them like they’re the only truth that matters. My lips part, and I see the raw emotion flash in her eyes before I crush her against me, my lips crashing onto hers.
The kiss is desperate and hungry—a kiss that speaks of months of yearning, unspoken promises, and hearts long locked behind too many walls. My hands tangle in her hair, pulling her impossibly closer as if I can make up for all the lost time with the heat of this kiss. She responds just as fiercely, her hands tracing the lines of my back, feeling the tension built between us for so long melt away in the intensity of the moment.
It isn’t just a kiss—it’s everything. Every unsaid word, every bit of hurt, every piece of longing that had built between us like a wall is finally being torn down, brick by brick. The kiss deepens, slow and passionate, and for a moment, I can taste my regret and her hope, everything we’ve kept buried under layers of guilt and responsibility.
When we finally break apart, both of us breathless, I can barely register the racing thoughts in my head. I’m unsure where we go from here, but the one thing I know for sure is that I’m not going to walk away. Not now. Not ever.
“I love you too,” I whisper against her lips, my voice thick with emotion. “I’ve loved you from the moment I met you. And I’m so sorry it took me this long to admit it.”
She smiles through tears, her hand gently cupping my face, my thumb brushing over her cheekbone. “It’s not too late,”she says softly. “We can still make it. We can fight this. Together.”
My chest rises and falls rapidly with every breath, and I can see the hesitation in her eyes and the fear of the unknown, but it isn’t enough to make her pull away.
“I don’t know what comes next,” I say, my voice ragged, “but I know one thing for sure: I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“We’ll make it work,” she whispers. “No more secrets. No more running. We’re in this together.”
My lips brush hers again, tender and sweet this time. I just want to savor this moment. She clings to me, knowing that this is just the beginning of a new chapter for both of us.
But as I pull away, the weight of our situation returns. We both know that the battle isn’t over yet. Frank will never give up. He’ll come for me, come for our entire future. But for the first time, I don’t feel afraid. I don’t feel like I’m carrying this alone.
Fallon is with me now.
And I won’t let anything tear us apart.