Chapter 22 Navy Achebe
Navy Achebe
The fuck am I doing here?
Now that I was in Choyce's presence, that question became the only thought swirling in my head. I knew why I was here, yet something about standing in front of her made me feel unstable, like my quiet confidence was turning into loud insecurities.
"Okay, speak," Choyce flatly said after leading us into the kitchen.
Honey and I stood across from her. The distance between us felt intentional, but I couldn't tell if it was for her safety or ours.
"Tell me what's going on with you and Honor." The words tasted bitter as I forced them out.
"Nothing," Choyce evenly replied.
"Then why—"
"Look," she cut in. “Honor and I work together. Nothing more. Whatever keeps you up at night has nothing to do with me."
Choyce's tone was convincing, but the pleasant curve of her lips said something different. She was enjoying this because she felt she had the upper hand.
"I told you we should’ve snatched her." Honey smirked.
"Does my sister know you wanted to kidnap me?" Choyce asked, folding her arms across her chest.
"Nope, but I doubt she'll care. I mean, you did set her up."
"I helped her!" Choyce barked, and her gaze narrowed.
"Call it what you want," Honey said, amusement threading through every word. "But as I said, Chosyn doesn't care about what happens to you."
What Honey said hit Choyce differently this time. The laughter in Honey's voice and the certainty with which she spoke made Choyce's calm demeanor crack. Her lips twitched as her control slipped and her frustration flickered on her face.
"Fuck you," Choyce seethed, stepping toward Honey. "You think my sister doesn't care about me… but who gives a fuck about you, huh?" Choyce taunted with the same twisted humor Honey used.
"I know all about you, Honey Daniels," she continued. "Born to Maple Daniels, father absent, but your stepfather stepped in and helped Maple teach you how to be a—"
Choyce's words lingered as her eyes roamed over Honey in disgust.
"Whore," she finally finished. "I can't lie. Your resume is impressive. You've robbed a few big names out in Philly and even set a few of them up to die. But none of that is your greatest sin now, is it?"
The more Choyce spoke, the easier it was to understand why Honor might've been drawn to her.
She was beautiful with chocolate skin that glowed naturally, slanted, catlike brown eyes that held a spark of mischief, and perfectly shaped lips.
Her curves were prominent where mine were subtle, and her hair fell past her shoulders in loose curls.
Choyce had beauty and sex appeal, but I knew Honor.
A woman's physical appearance alone wasn't enough to draw him in.
It had to be her mind. The way she crafted her thoughts and presented them.
When Choyce was in her element, she was intoxicating.
This version of her delicately pulling Honey over the edge was a far cry from the Choyce who opened the door.
She spoke with an eeriness I'd only ever heard from the men I grew up around.
Starting off sweet, lulling you into thinking you have the upper hand, until she let your misstep stir her emotions.
Only then did the venom in her words reach the tip of her tongue, and Honey was close to being poisoned.
"This isn't about Honey," I intervened, trying to defuse the situation.
"No, but she made it about herself when she spoke out of fucking turn.
" Choyce smirked. "Now, back to what I was saying.
You've done a lot in Philly, but I don't think anything can top what you did to your first love.
What was his name?" Choyce tapped her chin as if she were genuinely trying to remember.
"Don't," Honey warned.
"Too late." Choyce smiled cruelly, stepping further into Honey's space.
Honey towered over her by a few inches, but that didn't stop Choyce.
"Ryis was him name, right? I heard all about how your first love was also your first vic.
Good ole Maple put you on to him. Taught you how to work that little Siamese pussy but forgot to teach you how to protect your heart.
I couldn't imagine setting up the only person in the world who gave a fuck about me.
I guess some of us are colder than others. "
Choyce's voice dripped with malice.
Honey stood perfectly still, but the murderous glint in her eyes said otherwise.
Her fists clenched at her sides. Every muscle coiled like a spring.
Choyce, drunk on her own words and the illusion of control, didn't see it coming.
Then Honey moved, shoving Choyce. She stumbled back, and before she could react, Honey's fist swung and connected with her eye.
"Bitch, do you know who the fuck I am?" Choyce heaved.
Honey didn't answer with words. She answered with her fists. Choyce did her best to fight back, but she was no match for Honey. Whatever happened between Honey and her first love ignited a different level of ferocity in her, one that left no room for hesitation.
"Ain't no way you got all that fucking mouth and can't fight," Honey grunted, sending Choyce crashing to the floor. Honey glared down at her, smirking, before reaching for the gun tucked in the small of her back.
I crouched beside her. Her effortless beauty was now marred by the crimson streaks across her face.
"I gave you two options," I stated, shaking my head, my voice tight with controlled anger. "This didn't have to happen this way. All I wanted to know was why you felt comfortable enough to kiss my man. Now? I don't even care because I see the type of bitch you are."
Choyce let out a low, mocking chuckle, tilting her head against the cabinet door. "Oh yeah? What kind of bitch am I… other than the bitch your nigga kissed back."
I dropped my head, laughing humorlessly, then straightened up, rising to my full height.
"You're the bitch who'll never be satisfied in life because you hate everything about yourself. You're uncomfortable in your own skin, so you steal pieces of those you envy, thinking it'll make you whole."
Choyce shrugged casually as if my words didn't bother her.
"Sounds like you more than it does me."
Reaching across the counter, I pulled a knife from the block and pressed the tip into my finger.
"Sharp," I murmured, watching with quiet fascination as a single drop of blood welled up almost instantly. "Stand up," I added.
Choyce watched me, humor swimming in her eyes.
"Am I a joke to you?" I innocently asked.
"This ain't you, Navy. You're not a killer. Your father made sure his little princess never got her hands dirty."
I looked toward Honey and nodded.
She closed the distance, pressing the gun to Choyce's temple.
"Laugh again," Honey quietly hissed, "and I'll show you how fast a joke can turn into a funeral."
With her free hand, Honey pulled Choyce to her feet and pushed her onto a chair. I moved in front of her while Honey took her place behind Choyce, trapping her between us.
"You know," I started, catching Honey's eyes before letting my gaze slide back to Choyce.
"I'm not even mad at you for liking Honor.
Most bitches do. And if we're being honest, what's not to like?
He's handsome, strong, tall, walks like he knows the power he's carrying between his legs, and he fucks extraordinarily well.
Honor is worthy of bitches wanting him."
I twirled the knife slowly, watching Choyce, waiting for the truth she wouldn't say out loud to speak anyway.
She didn't disappoint. For every compliment I gave Honor, her mouth twitched.
Lust shimmered in her eyes, raw and unguarded.
She wanted him… badly. But something was telling me it wasn't just about fucking him.
"My issue," I calmly continued, "is hoes thinking they can take my place.
That part… I don't play with. Being a man's peace can be simple…
cook his meals, laugh with his family and friends, make sure he nuts on every inch of your body, so he feels superior.
Being that kind of peace only qualifies you for a regular man, not Honor. "
Choyce's jaw tightened, and there, displayed, was the fear that she wasn't enough for him. I slowly let the corners of my mouth lift into a pleasant smile.
"Honor's peace requires loving him when he's never been able to love himself. Putting his feelings before yours. Choosing him even when it costs you. Staying because you understand his damage, not because of the overbearing attention he gives."
"And let me guess," Choyce shot back, lifting her chin.
"All of that is a job for you? I don't know much about love and relationships, seeing as I married and had a child with a gay man, but…
everything you said, that strength you think you need to have to be his peace is why you're having ill feelings about your relationship. "
"You don't know shit," I seethed, slamming the knife on the granite countertop.
"I know enough. You being here says more than you think.
Honor's been yours long before I knew he existed.
You know him better than anyone, yet here you are.
In my house. Letting this lonely bitch take my gun so you can waltz into my kitchen to question me about your man. What does that tell you, Navy?"
"Why don't you tell me?" I snapped.
"Why spell it out when taunting you is… ahhh!"
Honey grabbed a fistful of Choyce's hair and yanked her head back. I then stepped forward, straddling Choyce's lap.
"Taunt me again," I whispered for only her to hear, "and I'll leave a pool of your blood so deep my niece could splash in it. I don't want that, but I'll do it if you force my hand."
"Fine," Choyce ground out.
I nodded for Honey to let her go, and I stood, unhurried.
"You're acting like a killer, but all I see are insecurities having a tantrum," Choyce recited, straightening her posture.
"You feel Honor slipping, and you're looking for someone to blame.
God forbid it's the person looking back at you in the mirror.
Still, I get it. Honor is special, and you want him to stay yours.
I get that but do you? Because instead of trusting the peace you claim to be, you came looking for a fight you're not ready for.
Be his peace, Navy, if that's truly who you are.
" Her eyes locked on mine. "But don't hate me because I'm his equal. "
Tired of playing with a bitch who has never been more than a pawn, I surged forward, grabbing the knife and straddling her lap again. Honey yanked Choyce's head back, giving me full access to her neck.
"His equal." I laughed, bristly and joyless. "How can you be his equal when you don't even know him? You know the scrapes he lets you see. The him he curates."
My chest heaved as black spots freckled my vision.
"You couldn't be his equal," I went on, my voice rising, "because you could never do what I've done for him. You'll never be his peace, let alone his equal," I scoffed, my lip curling in disgust.
I pressed the knife's tip to her neck, just enough for her skin to give, and a bead of blood welled.
"Honor doesn't want an equal," I whispered. "That's not what he needs. Honor wants an angel who can stand in his fire and not burn."
My throat tightened, a warning to stop talking before I revealed too much. "I'm that for him. I've always been that for him—"
My voice cracked as memories I'd buried clawed their way to the surface, dragging grief along with them.
"Being his peace… is the reason I aborted our children. All four of them."
Silence swallowed the room, but I couldn't stop. My conscience wouldn't allow it.
"I laid on that table and killed them without him knowing," I confessed, tears blurring everything but the truth. "Because I loved him."
I slowly dragged the knife along her skin. Choyce hissed or maybe even screamed, but I couldn't hear it. All I heard were heartbeats. Mine. Honors. Our children's. Different rhythms. Different weights.
The knife slipped from my fingers and clattered against the granite.
I staggered back, breath coming in shallow pulls, like my lungs had forgotten how to process air.
I pressed a hand to my chest to try to still my heart, but it kept racing, hammering like it wanted to escape.
Honey didn't move. She stood behind Choyce, fingers still tangled in her hair, eyes locked on me.
There wasn't fear in her eyes. There wasn’t approval either. What lived in her slanted browns was the closest thing to horror, and it wasn't because of what I'd done but more so what I said.
"Navy," Honey whispered. I shook my head.
Choyce sagged forward in the chair, shoulders shaking. Blood traced the thin line going across her neck. She didn't cry or reach to see how deep I cut. She just sat there like she finally understood the cost of wanting a man who ran with demons.
"I didn't know," she whispered.
I laughed once, short and broken.
"Why would you?" I asked hoarsely, dragging a hand down my face. Wetness smeared across my skin before I realized I had blood on my hands.
"I loved him," I said to no one in particular, "enough to abort pieces of myself so he could survive."
The words sounded wrong when spoken out loud.
Choyce rose on unsteady legs. I reached for the knife, unsure of her next move.
"We're done," Honey muttered, already reaching for my hand. I hesitated, then set the knife down and let Honey guide me out of the house.
"Navy."
I turned. Choyce stood at the threshold.
"He doesn't need peace," she softly voiced. "He needs a woman who won't set herself on fire to keep him warm."
"That bitch," Honey mumbled as Choyce closed the door.
I sank into the passenger seat and pulled down the visor. Beneath my eyes, a smeared mix of tears and blood stared back at me. I slammed the visor shut, pissed that I'd lost control.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Honey asked once she climbed in.
"Just take me home," I mumbled.
I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes, silently mourning the children who never got to exist.