Chapter 18 #2
I nodded and crossed the room, moving on autopilot. Hips steady, posture perfect, letting each step linger a few seconds longer than the last because this is what I'm good at. Looking untouchable even when I've already been touched.
As I walked, I felt a pair of eyes on me.
I fought the urge to look back and meet the owner's gaze.
I found the bathroom minutes later and locked myself inside.
My lashes were still intact. Lip gloss untouched, but my eyes seemed so hollow.
I dabbed under them, careful not to mess up my soft glam, took a few deep breaths, and was ready to go.
I unlocked the door, swung it open, then stopped short.
Honor stood there, filling the doorway with his broad shoulders and a too familiar presence.
"Shouldn't you be out there with your bitch?" I asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my tone.
His nostrils flared before he steadied his breathing. "I wanted to make sure you were good."
A humorless laugh slipped out, brittle and unbelieving. "Why?"
"Does it matter?" he muttered.
"Yes! You're here at your brother's engagement party with your long-term girlfriend, but you're checking to see if I'm okay," I scoffed in disbelief. "Why not check on me while we were all in the ballroom?"
Honor went still, eyes flickering with heat. "That's what you on?"
"I should be asking you that. Why act like you care if it's only done in private?"
"Nah, don't play that shit with me, Choyce. You knew what it was."
"Exactly!" I snapped. "I knew what gliding my wet pussy all over your dick meant, and I was cool with that.
I promise you I was so fucking cool on it, but now you're in my face, checking on me like it meant something else.
So tell me what it is because you seem pressed over a bitch you swear you'll never love. "
My chest rose and fell too fast, nostrils flaring, lips trembling with the urge to kiss and cuss him out.
"Choyce—"
"Don't," I warned, stepping past him. "Don't say my name anymore. Don't fucking worry about me, okay. I fucked you because I wanted to feel genuine love from someone, I felt protected with. You gave me that. But Honor, I'ma big girl. I can handle myself in public and in private."
His hand lifted as if he were about to touch me, then it stopped and dropped back to his side.
The hesitation hurt more than his actual touch would've because it wasn't rejection.
It was him choosing not to, even though he wanted it.
In that split second, I saw how possible we could've been, if only Honor would make space in his heart for anyone other than Navy.
"I'm sorry," he quietly apologized. His hand lifted this time, going all the way, fingers breezing across the scar Navy left behind. "I'm sorry 'bout that."
"You didn't do that," I mumbled, slightly numb from the way his touch set my skin on fire.
"I caused it."
His fingers dipped toward my shoulder. He moved the collar of my blazer aside, exposing the faint mark he'd left behind still blooming against my skin.
"I'm sorry 'bout this, too."
"Don't be," I answered steadier than I felt. "I was yours for a moment. When it fades, so will the moment we shared."
I blinked hard, fighting the burn gathering behind my eyes. I turned away, needing to be anywhere but face-to-face with the almost of us.
"Choyce," he called after me, fingers circling my wrist.
"Honor, please," I sniffled, seconds away from letting everything spill over.
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
I turned back, bringing my eyes to his like we were sharing one last moment.
"That's the problem," I whispered. "You didn't have to mean it. You just had to choose her."
"It's not that—"
"It is," I softly cut in. "It's always going to be that."
My hand eased from his grip, even though every part of me wanted to lean into it.
"Lucian wants me to make sure you kill Talon tonight. If you care about me even a little, you'll hurry it up so I can get the fuck outta here."
I walked away from Honor feeling like I was abandoning the ghost of what might've been just to face the reality of what was.
By the time I stepped back into the ballroom, my expression was fixed, polished, and unbothered.
I grabbed a champagne flute off a passing tray and found Emersyn tucked in a corner, watching the room like it was her own personal buffet.
"What are you doing over here?" I asked.
"Scouting." She giggled. "Trying to see which one of these gentlemen will be lucky enough to say they got to bed Emersyn Teixeira herself."
"Do you even want love?" I asked.
"Love is overreacted," she dryly answered. "Look how it got you."
My brows pinched.
"I saw Honor walk outta here exactly five minutes after you did, and I'm not the only one who noticed."
She tilted her chin subtly toward Navy, who was already watching me with disdain and the calm confidence of a woman who knew her position was permanent.
"I don't care about her," I lied, grabbing my phone from my clutch.
Me
Meet me at Grove Towers. I'm in the ballroom. I have information about who's trying to kill you.
"Could've fooled me," Emersyn snickered. "Did you have to text Talon?"
I shrugged, sliding my phone back into my clutch. "I'm taking your advice and becoming the bad bitch I was meant to be."
"I'll toast to that." She smirked.
We clinked glasses, and as I sipped, my gaze drifted back to Navy. She stood across the room, surrounded by Chosyn, River, that Honey bitch, and the twins. Laughter wrapped around her as if she belonged at the center of it.
Navy didn't just have the man I wanted. She had the sister I wanted, too.
With Navy, Chosyn was soft, loyal, and protective in ways she hadn't been with me in years. I shook my head and looked away before anyone could spot the jealousy on my face. Realizing Navy was living the life I wanted hurt in ways I didn't even have language for.