Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Choyce Mancinelli
The next morning, I woke up with a splitting headache and to the smell of something greasy and cheesy being cooked.
Sliding out of bed, I turned my nose up.
The food didn't smell bad, but it wasn't helping the nausea I felt either.
After grabbing my robe, I headed into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and use the bathroom.
I took my time going through my routine, hoping the headache would dull, then finally made it into the kitchen.
"Good morning." Chosyn smiled like we were best friends when the two of us were barely sisters.
"Morning," I grumbled, sliding onto a stool at the island.
"Someone doesn't sound their best," she joked, sliding a burger oozing with cheese onto a toasted bun.
"Why are you cooking burgers this early?"
She set the plate in front of me, then looked at me like I was dumb.
"You were drinking last night," she answered. "Greasy foods will soak up all that alcohol—"
"I wasn't drinking," I cut in, pushing the plate away. The burger looked good as hell, but I couldn't stomach the smell long enough to eat it.
"Then what happened?"
Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked to the fridge. I grabbed one of Cherish's juice pouches and one of her cracker-and-cheese packs, set both on the counter, then popped them open and sat down.
"You need real food," Chosyn said as I stacked cheese onto a cracker.
"Then make me some real food because this burger isn't it. It smells funky as hell."
Chosyn pulled the plate toward her and inhaled.
"It smells good to me." She took a bite, eyes fluttering shut like she'd tasted heaven.
My stomach growled.
"It tastes even better. Here, try." She held it out, and I pinched my nose before taking a bite.
"Mhm," I hummed despite the smell.
"Exactly." She giggled. "I don't know what you… Oh my god, are you preg—"
"Hell no!" I snapped between chews. "Cherish is the only child I'm bringing into this world. I can't risk having another good-for-nothing nigga as a baby daddy."
"If you were pregnant, Honor would be the father unless you've been sleeping with that handsome bodyguard who follows you around."
"Kage is my friend, my best friend. We would never cross that line."
"Interesting." She turned back to the stove. "Then that makes Honor the father, and as messed up as that situation would be, I'm sure he'd be there for you."
"You really think so?" I laughed, reaching for the rest of the burger.
"I do. Honor does a lot of… dark things, but I can't see him turning his back on his child."
"What if Navy asked him to?" I asked.
"She wouldn't," Chosyn replied without turning around.
"But what if—"
"She wouldn't," she repeated firmer this time. "You're not pregnant anyway, so it honestly doesn't matter."
"Right."
I shrugged and kept eating. Having a baby with Honor would tie me to that man for life, and that was the last thing I wanted. The further away I was from Honor and Navy, the better.
"For someone who couldn't stomach the smell, you fucked that burger up." Chosyn laughed.
"I said it smelled funky. I never said it didn't look good. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
An awkward silence settled between us. Nothing about the way we handled each other called for softness, but this moment had the potential to change that if I allowed myself to be vulnerable and Chosyn actually listened instead of judging.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened last night? You walked into Honey's apartment emotional and apologizing," Chosyn asked.
"Lucian called a meeting in Brooklyn. I thought I was finally going to be announced as his successor, but he gave it to Honor. If I hadn't been worried about getting under Navy's skin at Talon's funeral, I might've noticed what was happening in the moment instead of after."
"That's the thing with Lucian," she said. "He dangles distractions in front of you, so you miss what he's really doing."
"How do you know?"
"King was my distraction. I never stopped thinking about what happened to you, but King was a good distraction."
"Chance put King on to you."
"Maybe, but the order came from Lucian."
I shook my head. "Well, he distracted me yesterday with the way he fawned over you, then told me to go sit down."
Her brows lifted. "Did you really think you were going to run the Mancinelli Mafia?"
"Yes," I kept my voice steady, "I proved myself. Chance kept making empty promises, but I made things happen. Honor is as close to Lucian as he's ever been because of me."
"So close that he took what you wanted without you knowing."
"Exactly." I let out a humorless laugh. "Now I'm his number two, and you wanna know what else?"
"What?"
"Some nigga at the meeting told me I'll always be an option and never the one chosen. I was pissed when he said it, but when I really think about it… I've always been a number-two-ass- bitch."
"No, you're not."
"I am." My voice cracked. "I was born second. Lucian wanted you but got me… second choice. Honor loves Navy but fucked me. Then stood in front of everyone at his brother's engagement party and sang to her," I scoffed. The truth tasted bitter.
"I thought I could play Lucian's game and win," I admitted. "But I haven't won shit yet and probably never will."
"Oh, Choyce." Chosyn rounded the island and pulled me into her arms. "You haven't won because that game isn't meant for you. I was supposed to be the one playing, not you. Living with Lucian hardened you, but your heart is too pure for that life."
"Maybe." I sighed. "I wanted this for all the wrong reasons.
I thought if I played the game well enough, everyone who saw me as weak would finally see my value.
I thought if I could make Honor realize he wasn't broken, he'd love me enough to want to fix me the way Navy fixes him.
" My throat tightened. "I wanted him to protect me, Chosyn.
Not one man in my life has ever given a fuck about me.
I was Chance's backup plan, Talon's punishment, and Lucian's womb to birth him a grandson, and I couldn't even do that right.
Every man used me, but not Honor. At least not until last night. "
"You didn't feel used when y'all had sex? I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just asking."
"I didn't." I shook my head. "I know you think it was a fluke, but we had a connection. We both gave each other what we needed. He made me feel protected and worth something. I made him feel less broken and seen. It wasn't love, but it was something."
"I get that," she hummed.
"Do you?"
"I do because at the end of the day, all we want is to be chosen by a man who sees himself in us. A man who recognizes our flaws but doesn't let them define us. You want to be loved."
"I do," I whispered.
"It'll happen, and when it does, it won't feel like whatever you felt for Honor.
You won't have to wonder if he wants to fix you.
He'll already love you in ways that make you better without you noticing.
The man meant for you won't play about you from day one.
In subtle ways, he'll show you, you're worth protecting. "
"Was that Wolfe with you?"
She smiled softly. "Pretty much. Wolfe was on my body from the day we met.
Abrasive as hell, but only because I was trying my hardest to get him away from me.
I didn't think love was worth having because all I knew was conditional love, and I didn't have it in me to deal with that anymore.
Wolfe taught me I didn't have to. He loved me where I was, without throwing my shortcomings in my face.
And when I was finally ready to love him back, his love for me amplified in ways that only make sense to us. "
"That's beautiful."
"It is." She smiled as if she could feel him. "You're gonna find your love, but first you have to love yourself."
"I'm so sorry, Chosyn," I cried.
"I know, and I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
"For not being a better sister, and I'm sorry for blaming you like Honor wasn't a part of that decision."
"It's okay. I shouldn't have done it. That's the only reason I let Navy slapping me slide. I was wrong," I sniffled. "But tell her that's the last time I'ma let her put her hands on me."
"Bet." Chosyn laughed, hugging me tighter.
"Can I have another one of your funky burgers?"
"I swear I don't smell what you smell," she said, moving back to the stove. "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"
"I'm not."
"Mhm."
I rolled my eyes. While she cooked, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my notifications. Emersyn texted a few times, and so did Kage. Then I saw one from Lucian.
Lucian
Dinner Sunday, my house 6 pm. Don't bring Cherish.
"What's wrong?" Chosyn asked, sliding my plate over to me.
"Lucian wants me to do dinner at his house on Sunday."
"And you're nervous?"
"A little. We were just together last night. If he had something to say, he could've said it then."
"Is that normally how Lucian operates?"
I shook my head. "I'll have Kage go with me."
"I can go."
"No, Chosyn, you don't have to. Wolfe already hates me. I don't want him hating me anymore."
"Wolfe doesn't hate you, and I'm going. You can drop me off afterward and officially meet Nix as Auntie Choyce."
"I—"
"I'm going," she repeated, walking toward the hallway, "so eat."
"Yes, sister," I shot sarcastically.
I laughed, but my stomach knotted. I had a day to shake this queasiness before finding out what Lucian wanted.