Chapter 18 – Wrizzle
Chapter
Eighteen
WRIZZLE
Ilistened in on Lil Rude’s conversation with my sis Hood Brat, and from the tone of her voice, barking over the phone, I knew that she was pissed at what had gone down between Gutta Barbie and me.
“That nigga fucked her face up, Rude! Where is he at!” Hood Brat yelled.
I knew that she had every reason to want to fuck me up.
I was fucked up myself over what happened; it shouldn’t have gotten that far.
I was in my feelings knowing that Gutta Barbie was out with another nigga.
I felt like she was playing in my face, and as bad as I wanted to let the shit slide because of the dirt that I was doing behind her back, I just couldn't let the shit go. I had my reasons for the situation with Tiffany and me; my girl had caught a body on the strength of me, and it had cost me everything, including having to pay Tiffany to fight that case. The fact that the case was against a police officer made the lawyer and court fees quadruple. I needed my girl out from behind those walls. I couldn't eat, sleep, think straight, or function properly while she was there. It felt like I had been robbed of everything. Dirty D’s was doing phenomenally, but it still wasn’t enough to cover all the bills that we had on top of the lawyer fees and keeping Barbie's books straight.
There were still no excuses for going behind her back and fucking our lawyer, but a nigga could only do so much.
“Nigga what happened?” Lil Rude asked.
Even my homies didn’t know about my fling with Tiffany.
Besides the nigga whom I had just killed.
The only people who knew were my Father, Benji, and my Uncle Dark.
I kept that shit lowkey up until now. Her saying that she was pregnant with my child was really fucking me up; shit had gotten out of my control, and I wasn’t sure how to fix the situation.
It was stressing me out thinking about how it was going to hurt Gutta Barbie when everything was brought to light.
I knew that eventually she was going to find out, even if it wasn’t from me.
There was no hiding a baby, and I was no fuck nigga, so I knew there was no way around it unless I was willing to disown my child.
I looked at my homie and knew that I couldn’t tell him what happened without him running and telling Hood Brat, who was his girl, and gossiping, which was addictive.
There was no way that he was going to keep my secret between him and me, even if given his word, I still had a feeling it would get back to Hood Brat.
“I fucked up, bro,” I admitted.
“Nigga did you! That shit is an understatement.” Lil Rude commented.
“Nah, I dead-ass fucked up in ways that are going to forever change things between Gutta and me. Shit between us will never be the same after that nigga, and I am sure of that. There was no taking back what I did, and there ain’t no excuses for it either.
I crossed the only person that I could truly trust with my life, bro; that’s my forever person, and she left me!
I’m fucked up!” I was stressed out of my mind just thinking about the shit.
“What were you thinking?” he asked as we drove around with no destination.
“I wasn’t really thinking. I was being selfish, thinking about her being out with that nigga she's been chilling with. It seems like she was with him more than she was with me. She is barely ever at Dirty D’s anymore; it seems like I brought that shit for her homegirl instead of her because Holly is the one running the shit.
Every time I turn around, she’s avoiding me, and it’s been that way since my Cousin passed away. ” I shared.
“I mean, you did snap out and put your hands on Holly, and you know how these girls are with each other,” he said, and I nodded my head, agreeing with him.
“On top of that, you fought Hitman, beat the shit out of that nigga, and I heard you were flirting with every bitch in the club that night. All of that is enough to make any woman stand on business behind their respect, trust me, I know.”
“I was drunk and fucked up about my Cousin. If it wasn’t for me needing him out here, then none of that shit would’ve gone down, and he would probably still be here, but as I said, there is no excuse for my actions that night, especially towards Gutta Barbie.
We have been through so much and always managed to keep shit solid between us, now she went from not wanting to speak to me to not wanting anything to do with me.
That shit with Latoya forever changed my life, and things between us really took a turn for the worse.
I don’t know what to do, bro; a nigga is fucked up behind this shit on God. ” I expressed.
“I don’t even know what to say, my guy, besides do whatever you need to make shit right between y'all. If it’s really worth it to you, then you need to fight for her no matter what.”
“Bro, this shit gets deeper,” I admitted.
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Trust me, you don’t even want to know. If Gutta Barbie knew everything, she'd kill me.” I shared.
“Damn, what the fuck did you do nigga!”
I couldn’t give him the answers to the questions he had.
All I could do was drop my head in shame.
I was going to try my hardest to take this shit to my grave for as long as I could until I found a way to tell Gutta Barbie, and I was scared shitless of doing that.
I knew I should’ve ended things between Tiffany and me a long time ago, but my girl was locked up and facing life in prison.
Even if I had told her the day she was released from jail and told me she had to fuck the judge, maybe she would’ve taken it better that day, but there was no telling, and it was a chance that I wasn’t willing to risk.
Even though that situation had changed things between us, I was thankful for my girl's honesty, but I knew that deep down her actions were hurting her. When she did finally find out the truth, all I could do was hope that it could at least help her release any shame and guilt that she was feeling about herself. I was still mad at Tiffany that she made me fuck her just to turn around and make Gutta Barbie fuck a judge. She was talking as if, with fucking me, there was still no way of getting Gutta Barbie off for the murder of an officer; it was a gamble that we were taking. But Gutta Barbie fucking the judge solidified her freedom, and that’s the part that I wish I could take back the most.
I ended up ducking off and hiding out at my Uncle Dark's second spot. Gutta Barbie’s friends, and Tiffany had been blowing me up nonstop, and to be honest, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to any of those bitches besides my girl Gutta Barbie.
The one person I wanted to call refused to call me and had even gone as far as to block me on everything: her phone, social media, and her email, which I felt was petty as fuck.
She didn’t want anything to do with me and was going out of her way to show me that.
I was worried about her. I had bugged out, putting my hands on her, and was hearing that her face was messed up.
I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking, and couldn’t even bring myself to tell my Father and Uncle about that part, because I was sure they would take turns fucking me up.
It wasn’t the way that I was raised. I was allowing this situation with Tiffany and the loss of my Cousin to make me crash out.
My phone rang, and I looked at the screen, seeing it was my Father calling.
“Hey, Pops,” I answered the phone.
“I need you to get to the spot ASAP. I just got the call that they found your Cousin Lil Insane's body floating in the Cooper River. Get here now!” he said, ending the call.
This shit was getting worse and worse for me.
I knew that Lil Insane and I weren’t on the best of terms; shit, Gutta Barbie had stopped me from killing that nigga myself, but he was still my blood.
I knew that if anything, despite my not fucking with him like that, I needed to be there for my family, especially my Uncle Dark, because that was his son.
Thinking about the news that I had just gotten had me think about the last encounter we had and the reason we fell out, which made me look like a hypocrite.
The same thing that I was fighting that nigga for, I turned around and did something just as fucked up.
He was the reason his girl lost their unborn child, and I had put my hands on my girl.
It was starting to be clear how much alike Lil Insane and I were; we were both fuck niggas.