Dio
My legs trembled as I finished my last lap. My body was cold, my bones ached, and my clothes were heavy with lake water; these niggas had us jump in. The lake they swore represented purification. The Dead Zone, the place where the idea was created.
Why don’t we take shortcuts? What year was Chi Kappa Chi founded? Who were the founders? Principles, and why were we making excuses? Run the routine again! Again! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
I was losing my mind with each second that went by.
I was ready to quit. They hadn’t taken their foot off our necks since watching me and punk-ass Percy fight.
Every time I couldn’t fix my mouth to call Thick Neck “Dean Big Brother God’s Gift, we did push-ups.
I was starting to feel like I was a target.
When I finally reached everyone else, I placed my hands on top of my head, trying to catch my breath. I tried to suck in as much as I could before they sent us back into the lake.
“Chain Two!” one of the Big Brothers called out.
We locked arms with our mouths curled up.
Our heads faced east because that was the rule.
I swear, with each punishment they placed upon us, I was breaking.
Was this real brotherhood? For every moment I suffered, I wondered if this was just a different form of how the Zoo felt when I was going through my motions?
Thick Neck paced back and forth. “In a few weeks, we’re hosting a party at the Chi house. We’re expecting a lot of people, and I expect a lot of food and drinks. 7:39 PM. No fucking excuses,” Big Brother Stay Fly said.
Thick Neck walked up and down the line. “Y’all need to do your homework!
When we ask questions, your answers should be correct.
We’re over a week in, and you niggas still fumbling the bag.
If you ask me, you Slimes need to drop the muhfuckin line because y’all don’t have it in you.
” He paused. “Ain’t that right, Number Seven? ”
Spitta stepped up. “I’m not cutting any of you niggas slack. Everyone suffers if any one of you fucks up!” he shouted while looking at Percy.
I watched as Thick Neck grimaced. He was mad those niggas were stepping on his toes. I could tell off rip that nigga was soft as fuck. He tapped Spitta’s shoulder and they stepped away from the line. I watched as they went back and forth a little before they returned in front of us.
“Get y’all shit together or this little shit y’all did will become much worse. Do y’all understand?” Thick Neck said as he now stood on the side of me.
I was cold, exhausted, and ready to go. Although I didn’t want to, I let the hot air blow from my nose as I let the words roll from my tongue. “Yes! Dean Big Brother God’s Gift!”
He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Good boy.”
The way my hand burned to hit his ass should have been studied.
If I questioned it before, it was official.
This nigga Thick Neck was dead. There was no question about it.
He didn’t believe in the mission nor the principles he so-called stood behind.
Those letters meant nothing to him. This frat was a joke.
He simply believed in power and using it on the wrong nigga.
He thought he had one up on me, but Dean Big Brother Fuck Boy was a dead nigga.
Everyone slowly left the Dead Zone but me. I stood near my car, trying to decide whether it was worth it to stay or to walk away. The only person I felt like could guide me in this moment was my big brother.
I hopped in my ride and called him up. When he answered, it felt like a weight lifted from me. “Zeus!” I called out.
I hadn’t talked to my brother since being back, and with everything going on, I needed to hear his voice. I needed him to tell me that this college shit was worth it because he had gone through the same thing, minus the fraternity. Who better to talk to?
“Sup, man? You good?” he asked.
“Zeus, I need you to tell me everything is going to be alright. I need you to get me out of my head because the way I’m feeling, I’m about to lose my mind.”
I could sense immediate worry as he started to speak. “Do I need to come there? Dionysus, if you’re feeling—”
I shook my head as if he could see me. “It’s not that. I promise. I’m just trying to figure out why I’m here. Am I here for you or for myself? I-I’m being challenged in a way I thought I could handle at first. Now, I’m feeling defeated.”
Zeus let out a sigh of relief. “First, nigga, don’t do shit for me.
If college is not for you, then it’s not, and at least you tried.
But I know my brother, and he isn’t a quitter, no matter what the fuck it is.
You challenge back, whatever it is. You give that shit all you got because you’re a fucking god! ”
A small smirk eased on my face. “You’re right. Aye, thanks.” I paused. “Pops. I love you.”
Although Zeus was my big brother, since the day our father passed, he had stepped up and shown that he was more than just my brother and more like my father.
Zeus and I ended our call, leaving me feeling a little better.
Now, I needed one more thing that would really push a nigga to the end of this journey. I started my car and took off.
PRESS PLAY
I parked at the far end of the lot, got out, and jogged to the door.
I glanced over my shoulders on both sides to ensure I wasn’t being watched.
Then, I inserted my key and turned it until the locks clicked.
The air was filled with the scent of orange and mint.
The flickering glow of candles lit the living room, casting enough light to form my shadow on the wall.
I removed my shoes as I tiptoed down the hall toward the bathroom.
With a quick shower, I rinsed off all of tonight’s bullshit.
Once I finished, I continued down the hall to the bedroom.
The faint light seeped from the crack in the door.
I gently pushed it open to find Samara sleeping.
I missed the shit out of her. I missed her so much.
I found my way home, although I knew if the big brothers found out, they would probably put me through the worst time of my life, but in my mind, she was worth it.
I removed the towel from my waist, and I walked closer to the bed. Easing the covers back, I gently climbed in and spooned with her.
“Dio?” she whispered.
I kissed the back of her head. “Yeah, baby. It’s me. I missed you so fucking much,” I mumbled.
She leaned back into me, settling herself comfortably in my arms. It felt like heaven. I knew I needed to tell her why I had been gone. It only made sense, right?
“I got an intern position in the dean’s office.”
“Oh yeah? Damn, Mars! Look at you. I’m proud of you.”
“Are you coming home?” she asked, her voice soft and comforting.
The shit broke my heart. “No, not yet,” I muttered.
She pulled away from me and turned toward me. “There is no ‘not yet’, Dio. What the fuck is your problem?” She started to get loud.
“Mars, please just hold on a little longer.”
She shot up from the bed. “Why is everybody’s answer about every-fucking-thing that it’s a fucking secret?
!” she shouted. “Like I’m some baby or I’m someone who wouldn’t understand anything.
First, it was Zaria hiding the fact that something happened to you back in New York, and Chevy and the whole Zoo shit like I’m a child.
And you and this stupid-ass Orange Light Special, and why you fucking left and won’t come back.
You know what, Dionysus? Get out! Maybe it was a mistake, all of it. ”
I hopped up out of the bed butt-ass naked, trying to calm her down. “Yo, you need to chill. You’re overacting.”
She scoffed. “Of course you would say that, but in the same breath run out here like a maniac as soon as the mail guy says hello!” She shook her head, then pointed to me.
“Oh, so you thought you were going to be gone, then come back so we can fuck and leave again, but I’m overacting?
Dio, if you knew better, you would walk out that fucking door now! ”
Honestly, I didn’t want to fuck. I wanted to do exactly what I did.
A nigga was tired, mentally exhausted, and I missed my bed and my girl.
Samara was at a point where there was no talking to her, and before I blew up my spot, I walked out of the room.
I snatched up some basketball shorts and a shirt and dipped.
I didn’t know what this meant for her and me, but it didn’t change the fact that Mars was the love of my life.
.