Samara Press Play
SAMARA
PRESS PLAY
When I saw Dio come into the room, it gave me butterflies, just like the very first day I met him.
He walked toward me like he was just as nervous as I was.
He and I not communicating or seeing each other these last couple of weeks made this moment feel like we were new to each other.
I wanted to run into his arms, kiss him deeply, and tell him how much I loved him, but the look in his eyes said he wasn’t here for that.
“How have you been, Mars?” he asked.
I rubbed my arms nervously. “How do you think I’ve been?”
He looked at the floor, then at me. “Sit down,” he instructed me.
I slowly backed up and sat on the empty bed while he sat across from me on Street’s bed. Dio ran his hand over his face before he glanced at me with red eyes.
“I thought this shit was going to be easy. You know, coming in here, saying what I had to say, and leaving, but seeing you—” he pointed, “—that pretty-ass face, those lips I’ve kissed so many times, makes this shit hard as fuck.”
My stomach sank because the way he was talking made me feel this was about to be the end, and I began to panic. I got up from the bed.
“Dio, let me—”
He held his hand up. “Let me say what I have to say. You were not wrong for how you felt. I don’t want you to ever think I’m trying to put you in a box and make you feel like you can breathe.
Samara, you can do what you want, however you want.
How I see you is not how you see me, and I had to learn that’s okay.
A nigga wants to apologize for blowing up on you like that.
” He choked up, then pointed to his heart.
“The love I have for you is something you may never understand. That shit burns deep in my blood. It’s rooted in me something crazy, something that controls me to the point it’s sickening. ” Tears welled in his eyes.
I started to speak before he could continue.
“Dio, I love you just as deeply. Why do you think I was out there in those fucking woods looking for you? I may have overreacted, but in that moment, while we were arguing, I felt like I was being controlled. I felt like you wanted me on some sort of leash. It wasn’t about any other guy because I want no one but you. ”
Dio stood from the bed and walked over to me.
He gazed down at me while I looked up at him.
When that tear landed on my cheek, it felt like a goodbye.
It felt like Dio was pulling away from me, and I needed to hold this moment in my heart.
I didn’t think this would ever happen, and now it was.
Silent sobs filled me as he stroked each tear.
“You say that, and I believe you, but today isn’t the day I can walk out of here and say I still have you.
What you saw was a nigga who is bitter, not only because he cannot have the woman who holds my heart, but because he’s less than a man, and this is the only power he has.
I’m going to show him, though, and I need you to stay away.
I’m resilient, I’m educated, and I’m a god.
This is me growing the fuck up. This is Dio doing what he has to do despite fucked up situations like ours.
I’ll make you mine again one day, but Samara, it won’t be today.
I love you, Mars the Star. A nigga really do,” he said before he kissed me and left the room.
As soon as the door closed, I lost my fucking mind.
The silent sobs turned into loud ones because my heart hurt.
I began to tear Xavier’s room apart. Dio walked out on me, and my relationship was over.
I wailed so badly that someone came into the room.
I didn’t care because the person I cared for had truly walked away from me.