Chapter APPLE
APPLE
I was finally being released from the hospital, and I couldn’t have been more excited.
I still had a neck brace and a small head patch on my forehead, but I was feeling good.
Even though I tried remembering what happened, it still hadn’t come to me, and I figured maybe it was for a reason.
The semester was coming to an end, and I needed to get back to class to finish up what I could.
While I waited for Harlem to get here, I decided to at least do my makeup and hair. There was a tap on the door, and to avoid turning my head, I just told whoever was there to come in. When I saw Ms. Cecily appear, I smiled. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
She smiled. “I’m sure. When I heard what happened to the president of the Gray and Gold, I had to come and see you. I know you're probably ready to jump right in and get back to that old Apple, I know, but I want you to take some time to get better mentally.”
I glanced in the hand mirror as I did my brows. “I’m fine.”
She placed her hand on my leg. “I said mentally. Apple, for most of the semester, I’ve watched you struggle.
The pressure of being a standout at TSU is a lot, and for two years, you’ve done it gracefully, but this year is the year you were supposed to find yourself, and because you’re not mentally ready, you’re struggling.
I care for all my students on the open campus, but certain ones I take a liking to, and you're one of them. Jesaiah destroyed you, and I’m so sorry for that, but you need to figure things out and find yourself.
I will no longer be on campus, but I will be around if you need me. ”
I panicked because she was supposed to be the dean, not Clark.
She was an example of what some of us girls on campus needed.
Despite her nephew being fucked up, Cecily August cared; she showed that her dedication to the Black experience was genuine.
TSU was hood as hell with a lot of drama on and off campus, but the little moments of encouragement, opportunities, and guidance she provided were everything.
“I’m going to miss you,” I told her.
She winked. “We’re part of a legacy that has gone on for generations.
We are family. Proud sister of the Gray and Gold, I will always be around.
Since learning about your incident, I have assigned the hosting of Black Excellence Day to Alyse Maverick.
If I had to guess, she’s interested in the sisterhood,” she finished as she walked out of the room.
Honestly, I wasn’t upset. Alyse had it in her.
The way she handled herself during the pageant, carried herself around campus, and worked the field with Blue Reign, I could see her being a sister of mine.
I finally got out of bed to change clothes when I felt air come through my gown from the back.
I quickly lifted to close it when I saw Jesaiah enter my room.
“Get out!” I shouted.
He held his hands up. “I just came to talk. I see my auntie was in here. What did she say about me?”
I sucked my teeth. “It’s just like you to think you are the center of everyone’s conversation.”
Jesaiah seemed different. This wasn’t like his usual cocky attitude, but more like an I-don’t-care attitude. His brows raised. “I guess. Look, they say you don’t remember what happened, but I need you to. You were sneaking through my house. Why?” he asked.
“What are you talking about?”
Jesaiah came closer. “Apple, I caught you in my fucking closet. Why were you there?”
I stumbled back, trying to remember. “I-I don’t know.”
He nodded slowly as he handed me something. “You took these out of my drawer.”
I took what he gave me and looked at it. When I read the name, a flash came to mind. “Where is my phone?” I blurted out.
“You don’t need it. I have HIV,” he blurted out.
I felt sick, and my head started to spin. That was when I remembered what I saw on my phone that night. My eyes widened. “I-I had sex with you. I—”
He went to reach for me, and I hit him. “Don’t touch me.”
“Apple, we used condoms every time. I’m fucked up, but I wouldn’t do that to you.
This shit wasn’t thought out. It wasn’t on purpose,” he paused as he sadly sat on the bed.
He dropped his head in shame. “I’ve done some crazy shit, but this I never expected.
” He scoffed. “But I should have known. Each moment I was lured by lust, I told myself the next time I’m going to be safe.
The next time I won’t slip up. Then slowly things started to happen, and I knew something wasn’t right.
When you found those pills, I hadn’t been taking them long.
I wanted to tell you when I found out, but a nigga was ashamed, scared, disappointed, and in denial.
Apple, I’m.” He choked up and caught a falling tear. “I’m sorry.”
“Get out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
When I saw Harlem standing there, I felt sick again. “Nigga, you got what!?”
Harlem charged at Jesaiah while I cried.
It took several nurses and security to break them up.
When they were taken out of the room and the nurse came in to check on me, I told her I needed to be tested.
Now, I didn’t want to leave the hospital until I knew my results.
Even though we used protection, the fear of being infected scared me.
It was a reminder that every time Jesaiah treated me the way he did, it was God’s way of trying to pull me away from him.
However, I kept coming back. It made me feel so low, stupid, and regretful.
This was an eye-opener for me, and I knew I couldn’t cry over spilled milk, yet wipe it up and pivot.
I just prayed that God would help me out one last time. This couldn’t be my future.