Chapter Apple
APPLE
I watched as the yard was filled with Black greatness.
I almost cried at how beautiful everything turned out.
Part of why I was feeling emotional was because I missed the chance to make such a wonderful day even better, but I'm glad Alyse and the Gray and Gold truly stepped up.
It was almost bittersweet to be leaving the campus that had shaped and shifted me.
Even though we were giving out mini bags of groceries to the students, I had slid in a pamphlet on awareness of safe sex. The thought of the close call continued to play in my head over and over. The idea of me leaving silently wasn’t an option, so the pamphlets were my voice.
When Ms. August took to the mic, I directed my attention toward the stage.
“This is so amazing. Thank you to the Gray and Gold and your Queen of the Chi, Alyse Maverick, for stepping in to make today possible,” she said, turning toward our booth.
She gave a proud smile and continued. “Apple Timothy, a young Black, beautiful, intelligent woman. She is the reason I am standing up here today. She is one of the highlights of this campus, but I see a lot of myself in her. Whether good or bad, but the fight she has in her is what counts. To all the students of TSU, today isn’t just about enjoying the good food or the band.
It's about each student who had the courage to show up and display what they feel could be useful to those who are scared to step forward. Each of you has a choice. A choice that can determine where your future is headed. Don’t wait until it's too late to change. Don’t wait until your back is against the wall, and don’t let your past hinder the greater you.
Now I know some of you will listen while others will walk away from this opportunity as if it’s just another day.
However, I want you all to know that being excellent isn’t about showing off or saying you are summa cum laude.
It is the struggle to strive for greatness.
You all have a story waiting to be told, and through that story, people will see what makes you great.
You are the excellence, you’re just doing it while being Black.
Although I am no longer the dean, I want you to know I will always be here if you—” she said, then looked at me.
“—Need an open ear. Here is to all of you beautiful Black students that deserves everything!”
The students cheered, then screamed in unison. “If you ain’t know this is a TSU show!”
“Yee-ee-oop!” I shouted.
The Gray and Gold came up behind me and followed. Reagan was the only one who hadn’t said much. She looked lost. My first thought was not to care, because it was clear she hated me in some way, but I knew what it felt like to be lost in your feelings with no one to talk to.
I made my way over toward her. Before I could say anything, she turned to me, “Can I talk to you over there?” She pointed to the outside of the booth.
I gave her a nod and followed behind her. As soon as we were away from everyone, she looked up at me with sadness in her eyes. “Did you know?” she asked.
Confused, I replied. “Know what?”
“About Jesaiah?”
“About him dying?”
Her face had gone from sad to angry. She handed me one of the pamphlets that I placed in each student’s bag about safe sex. “That he had HIV!?” she nearly shouted.
I peeked over my shoulder to see if anyone was close. “Yes, but I didn’t find out until a few weeks ago when I was in the hospital. I got tested. I’m negative.”
Tears began to pour out of her. She looked at me again, and that’s when I knew she, too, had slept with Jesaiah.
Now, I was curious how much the shit had traveled through TSU.
Jesaiah had been a serpent on campus during the spring semester, and now I wondered what the aftermath of it all would look like in the fall.
Here I was, the only one who seemed to have a voice. Could I be the advocate for the girls on campus? I started to question whether leaving with Harlem was truly a good idea. I felt like this was a sign that I should stay.
Moments later, Harlem came over, wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, and kissed me.
I smiled while Reagan’s curious eyes held so many questions.
The old me would have tried to explain, but the new Apple didn’t give a shit.
Harlem made me feel comfortable, and I refused to let anyone destroy it.
However, I needed to decide whether to choose him or return in the fall.