Chapter 11 #2
“Oh.” I push myself higher so I can see better. When they both smile at me, obviously recognizing they’re being talked about it, I smile back and then wave at them stupidly.
“You can meet them later. Right now you need to rest.”
“Maybe I don’t want to rest.”
“Tough.”
“Kind of bossy out here in the hills, aren’t you?”
“Definitely. They call me the Captain, you know.”
“They do?”
“Yep.”
I giggle. “Captain Silver Wolf Cade.”
“Now you sound delirious.” His tone is warm and fond.
“I’m not. I’m just… It’s been a really long day.”
“I know it has. So rest. Tomorrow you’ll be able to think better and you can decide how you really feel about all of this.”
“Okay. That sounds like a plan. Can I get some more of that water please?”
I drink water and eat some bread toasted over a fire, and then I doze off again. I’m warm and mostly comfortable now, so my sleep is more peaceful than it was earlier.
At one point, I half wake up—it doesn’t feel like too much time has passed—and I hear an unfamiliar voice laughing.
Then another guy hushes him. “Shut the fuck up,” that second voice hisses. “You’ll wake up the Captain’s girl.”
I have a private giggle before I drift off to sleep again.
The next morning, I wake up fuzzy and confused. My head is hurting, and my stomach is churning even before I sit up.
I lie very still for a few minutes, gradually opening my eyes. The sounds around me clue me into the fact that I’m still in the cave, and eventually the previous evening comes back to me.
Only then do I sit up slowly, blinking at all the activity happening around me.
There’s no way to tell what time in the morning it is since I can’t see the sky, but Cade said they had some sort of strike planned today. My guess is it’s still very early.
I feel like I woke at dawn with the world’s worst hangover.
Ironic, since I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since I finished my last bottle of wine before Impact.
I’m not in a fit state to stand up yet, so I sit silently, trying and failing to recognize any of the faces around me.
When a woman passes by, clutching a pile of clothes in both hands, I perk up.
That’s Cade’s mother.
My first instinct is a friendly greeting, as if I ran into a friend, but that’s ridiculous. My attachment is to Cade. My only interaction with his mother is the wave we shared last night.
She might not like me.
She might hate the idea of her son being with me.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she says with a smile when her gaze lands on me. “How are you feeling? I hope all the bustle didn’t bother you.”
“I think I would have woken up anyway.” I smile back, relieved she’s so warm and approachable. “I’m doing okay.”
“You’re lookin’ kinda pale.” She drops the heap of clothes on the floor—they must already be dirty so it doesn’t matter—and sits on the couch beside me, reaching to touch my forehead.
A concussion isn’t likely to give me a fever, but it’s a kind, maternal gesture, and I don’t mind.
“I still have a headache, and my stomach isn’t all that great. But overall I think I’m okay.” I smack my dry lips. “I might be a little dehydrated. Is there more water I could drink.”
“Of course.” She hurries away and returns in only a minute with a big, plastic cup filled with water.
I drink it gratefully, emptying half of it before I take a breath.
She sits beside me again. “I’m Mary. Cade’s mom.”
“I’m Jill.”
“I know who you are, hon. I’m sure glad to finally meet you.”
I stare down at the water in my cup, flushing in pleasure. “I didn’t realize he would have said anything about me.”
“Well, he’s not a talker. I bet you already know that.
He won’t say much until he feels safe. Then sometimes it’s hard to shut him up.
But no one feels safe anymore, so he’s clammed up completely these past couple years.
He hasn’t talked a lot about you, but we put the full story together from the changes we’ve seen in him and a few stray comments.
And, of course, his feelings were obvious to everyone when he went into full-blown panic mode when you were in danger yesterday. ”
“Oh. I see.”
The idea of Cade going into a panic shouldn’t give me a thrill, but it does.
Because he went into that panic over me.
After a few more sips of water, I say, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy for… I mean, do you know that I… I work at the Pub.”
“What you do to stay alive don’t matter to us at all.
We’ve been so glad Cade finally…” She shakes her head, staring at an empty spot in the air.
“Ever since Impact, it’s like we lost part of him.
The Silver Wolf swallowed up the sweet, shy man he always was.
But lately, since you, we’ve been getting a little of the old Cade back. ”
I gulp. This is a lot. More than I could have expected. My heart hammers, and I swallow more water down my dry mouth and throat.
“I’m sorry, hon. I shouldn’t’ve said anythin’.” She has the same drawl in her speech that her son does. “You might be scared, finding out who he is. A lot of folks wouldn’t want to risk any connection to him or to us.”
“No. It’s not that. I’m not scared. It’s more like I’m disoriented. Trying to wrap my mind around who he really is.”
Mary reaches over to put a light hand on my knee. “If it helps, the man you’ve known is the real one. The deepest one. That man is real. The Wolf is the mask.
I nod. I can’t come up with any sort of response, but I can feel the truth of what she’s saying in my chest.
That’s why I’m not scared, even knowing who Cade is and what he’s done.
That’s why I feel closer to him right now than I did yesterday.
He comes into sight just then, walking in from outside with his father beside him. He’s in the middle of an intense conversation and isn’t aware of me yet.
It’s funny.
I’ve only ever known Cade in the Pub, so I never thought much about his larger life.
But he’s with his dad right now, and his mom is sitting beside me.
He was a much-loved little boy. He was a husband for a few years.
He took over his father’s hardware store.
He and his people came to this region because they were desperate, because their home was flooded out.
He’s been doing what he needs to survive.
Just like me.
“You feel the same.” Mary says the words so softly they’re almost a whisper.
I jerk.
“The same as him,” she adds by way of explanation.
I sip the water to give myself a few seconds to form an answer, but yet again I come up with nothing. “I… I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry. This is a completely inappropriate conversation when I’ve known you less than a day.
Cade would never forgive me if he knew. But we worry.
His dad and I. He’s been trying so hard for so long to keep everyone safe.
To take care of us. It’s all he does. It’s all he thinks about.
At least, until he met you. I kept saying he needed to tell you the truth, but he refused because he was so scared it would put you in danger.
And even now that you know, he might still… ”
“He might what?”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got enough to deal with.” She pats my knee again and stands up. “He might call himself a wolf, but he’s as stubborn as a mule and as bristly as a porcupine and as territorial as a hippopotamus. But if you can get past all that, you won’t find a better man.”
I believe her.