Chapter 14
Two months later, I’m eavesdropping on a quiet conversation three of the militiamen are having at a small table in my section.
I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the past weeks. I always heard things in passing, and now I just pay attention when I do.
They’ve got a new shipment coming. A big one.
I can’t figure out where it’s coming from, so I linger as long as I can, wiping a table near theirs in the hopes of hearing more details.
When none are forthcoming, I give up. I’m not going to risk them getting suspicious. I cheerfully greet a couple of newcomers and chat for a few minutes as I take their orders.
Cade is in the corner at his normal table, watching me as he always does. But I can sense invisible disapproving vibes from his direction.
He knows I’m eavesdropping and doesn’t like it.
He always gets grumpy when he thinks I’m taking a risk.
I don’t let it bother me. I’m going to take advantage of my position here as long as I can do it safely. I care about what happens to Cade, his parents, and his other people. And I believe in striking back against the militia in any way possible.
Why shouldn’t I do something useful instead of simply serving food and drink and fucking paying customers?
Cade’s covert bristling isn’t going to stop me.
As I wait for Pete to pour out the orders, I ask, “How are you feeling today?”
“I’m just fine.” He doesn’t stop working as he slants me a quick smile. “Almost my old self.”
I hope this is true, but he still looks a little paler than he should be. His gunshot wound got infected, and he had a fever for a few days. We were really worried about him, but he managed to shake the fever and get better. This week, he’s been back at work, and he’s acting like his old self.
I sure hope he feels that way too.
“I don’t need fussing over,” he adds, sliding the beers across the bar to me.
“I’m not fussing. I promise. But you got shot saving my life, so forgive me if I have a personal stake in your recovery.”
He chuckles at that and shakes his head. “Is your man over there unhappy about something?”
“He’s unhappy with me, I think. But he can just get over it.”
“Good.” Pete is staring at an empty glass as he says, “I used to tell my daughters not to go against their instincts for a man. Any man. Even me. I’d tell you the same thing, but I think you already know that.”
“I do.”
At two minutes after closing time, Cade has hold of my hand as he walks up the stairs in front of me. His grip is firm, and he feels urgent, but he’s not actually dragging me behind him, so I don’t try to pull away.
“I wasn’t doing anything wrong,” I say as he closes my bedroom door, trying to offset his reproach before he gets it said.
“You were blatantly eavesdropping. Someone coulda noticed!”
“It was only blatant to you. No one else had the slightest clue I was trying to listen. You can’t assume everyone else in the world watches every tiny twitch I make the way you do.”
“You never know what someone might notice. I’m not gonna let you put yourself at risk for me!”
“I get to choose what I put myself at risk for, and it’s not only for you. I care about everyone else too, you know.”
Either my words or my soft, earnest voice breaks into his indignation. He gives a twitch. Then his face softens. “I know you do.”
“So you can’t stop me from doing reasonable things to help.”
“I might not be able to stop you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Sometimes I’m tempted to lock you away in a tower so no one can ever hurt you again.”
I let out an amused exhalation. “That would be the way to lose me for good.”
“I know that,” he grumbles, looking downward but angling his silver-green eyes up at my face. “So I’m not gonna do it. I’ll just suffer endlessly and forever as I worry about you.”
“You’re not the only one.” I push him backward against the door and start unbuttoning his flannel shirt.
He smooths my loose hairs back toward my braid. “Who do you have to worry about?”
“You know perfectly well who I worry about, Captain.” My gaze is darting from his face to my fingers pulling his shirt open. Then I frown. “Why are you wearing another shirt under this one?”
“It’s cold and wet out there.” He’s smiling for real now.
“I don’t care. It’s making more clothes for me to take off you. You should be considerate of the time I spend trying to get you naked.”
He chuckles, reaching around to unzip my dress. “I’ll keep that in mind tomorrow.”
With my dress unzipped, I let it slide smoothly down and off my arms to fall to the floor. “Look how easy I make it for you.”
“I’m sorry, angel. But I’m not wearing a little red dress and boots like you.”
I really try, but I can’t hold back the giggle as I drag his undershirt off over his head, ruffling his hair and beard in the process. “Take your pants off too. Hurry up. I’ve been waiting all week for you.”
“I’ve been waiting too.” He’s shucking his jeans and underwear as he talks. “I thought I was too old to have to jerk off every night, but nope. Definitely not too old for that yet.”
Laughter spills out of me as I reach for his half-erect cock, massaging it until it hardens in my hand. “How embarrassing for you.”
“You don’t gotta tell me that. But I can’t stop thinking about you, and then my dick decides to get in on the act—” He gasps and pushes back against the door. “Fuck, angel. You’re killing me with those hands.”
I’m really getting into the hand job, but it’s evidently too much for Cade. With a rough grunt, he moves my hands away and turns us around so I’m against the door instead of him. He tilts his head down, staring at me hotly, and then suddenly his lips are descending to meet mine.
I whimper into the kiss—in surprise and pleasure both. He’s never kissed me before, although I’ve been wanting it for a while. I wrap my arms around his neck and stretch up to work my mouth against his, so eager I suck hard to get his tongue into my mouth.
He kisses me with a fierce urgency, gathering me up as he does until I wrap my legs around his middle to bring our mouths to the same height.
This is even better. My pussy can rub against his firm abdomen. I grind shamelessly to get more friction as he kisses me until my body pulses and my mind blurs over.
Before I know what’s happening, he’s readjusting our bodies so he can slide his cock into my pussy. He fucks me like that against the door, kissing me the whole time, and I pant and moan into his mouth until I fall into an orgasm.
He’s been grunting with a primal roughness, his tongue and his cock thrusting in tempo. As I come down, I suddenly remember something. “The condom?” I gasp, pulling away from his mouth.
He freezes, pressing me against the door. “Fuck.”
“It’s fine,” I say after I manage to make my mind work. “Just pull out before you come.”
He groans and starts pumping again, bumping me against the wall. “Jesus Christ, nothing has ever felt better than your hot little pussy. I could have a heart attack right this minute and die a happy man.”
“Maybe.” I’ve got my elbows hooked behind his shoulders and my hands up clutching his hair. “But I wouldn’t be happy, so try not to do that.”
He huffs and shakes and then makes that stretched sound that proves he’s close to losing it. He makes a few last jerky thrusts and then yanks his cock out so he can come all over my belly and breasts.
He hugs me to him when he’s worked through the last spurt of his release.
I hug him back.
Then, very gently, he carries me over to the bed, laying me down and then dampening a hand towel so he can wipe his semen off my skin.
“Messy, messy,” I say, teasing.
“Sorry. Don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. Never shoulda forgot the condom.”
“It’s okay. With you, it’s okay.”
Our gazes meet for a moment, and I get that shiver of excitement I experience every time it feels like he’s going to say something new. Something I really, really, really want to hear.
But he doesn’t.
He leans down to give me a soft kiss instead. “Why haven’t I been kissing you all this time?”
“Because we were trying to be good and keep things professional. You don’t kiss your paid fuck.”
He frowns as he settles himself at my side, propping his head on his hand. “Don’t call yourself that.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant we started as a… a transaction. You get a fuck, the house gets paid, and I get a tip. I know it’s not like that now, but the transition is kind of… fuzzy.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” He sighs deeply, leaning down to press another kiss on my mouth. “Honestly, I don’t know how it happened. I started coming to the Pub to try to hear what the militia were talking about.”
“I know that. And I thought you sat in my section all the time because you liked me.”
“I did like you. Prettiest thing I ever seen in my life. I was supposed to be working, but instead, I kept staring at you like a horny teenager.”
That makes me smile. I play with his beard and stroke his jaw. “You weren’t ever going to fuck me, were you?”
“No. I was worried… I wasn’t sure how I could tell if you really wanted it or not, so I told myself you were completely off-limits. But then you… you asked… so I thought…”
“You thought you might as well have a good time while you were spying on the militia.”
“Something like that. But then it got more and more complicated until I was completely underwater, crazy about you but scared to ever tell you the truth about who I am. I still sometimes wonder if I should have. It felt like you were safer when you didn’t know.”
“I wasn’t born to be safe, Cade.” I hold his head still so he’ll meet my eyes. “I was born to live the best life I can in the world I live in. And my best life isn’t you keeping secrets from me.”
“I know. I know that. I just… I just wish the world was different. If I’d met you before everything went to shit, we could’ve…”
“We could have what?”
“We could’ve had a real good life together with nothing getting in the way.”
It’s a tempting thought. Like a scene from a dreamworld. But it’s not this life, and it never will be. So I sweep the thought away to the dark where it belongs. “What we have now is pretty good. Isn’t it?”
“Damn right, it is.”
“And maybe things will… will change eventually. And this can get even better.”
“Maybe.” His one-word answer is edged with something that makes me think he doesn’t believe it.
I can envision a number of options that could move us forward in our relationship, even in the shitty world we’ve got, but he evidently doesn’t want that.
That means it’s time to change the subject. Any more of this and I’ll for sure get depressed. So I push him over onto his back. Kiss his mouth and then his beard and then his neck.
“Whatcha doing, girl?”
“I’m kissing you.” I’m down to his chest now. I grin up at him with my lips poised over one of his nipples.
“This feels like more than kissing. We’re almost outta time, aren’t w—?” He breaks off with a little yelp when I tuck my head to nip at his side.
Pleased with his reaction, I keep kissing my way down until I’ve reached his cock, which is already hardening again.
I suck him off until he’s moaning and muttering about how good I’m taking him down, and I let him come into my mouth, applying suction until his penis and the rest of his body is utterly soft.
He’s so worn out afterward that his eyelids are half closed. I snuggle at his side and wrap his arm around me.
Surely we can take a few minutes like this before Nell comes pounding on the door.
The next thing I’m aware of is waking up with my cheek smushed against Cade’s chest.
I have no idea what time it is, but it’s got to be late. Much, much later than it should be.
Cade should have left hours ago.
He’s sound asleep beside me, so I sit up and shake his shoulder. “Cade. Cade, wake up. We fell asleep.”
“What’s that, angel?” His eyes haven’t opened, and his voice is groggy and slurred.
“We fell asleep! You need to get out of here. Nell’s going to be pissed.”
“What? Oh. Shit.” He makes a harrumphing sound as he sits up. “Fuck, what the hell?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. But you better go.”
He’s already moving, dropping his legs over the side of the bed and reaching for his boxers and jeans. “I fell asleep too. It’s my fault.”
“If I’d stayed awake, I would have been able to wake you up after a few minutes. But it doesn’t matter. We both fell asleep.”
He’s throwing his clothes on and stuffing his feet into his shoes as I talk. He grabs his pack and then turns back toward the bed, leaning down to kiss me.
He has a very particular smile on his face as he pulls away.
“What are you laughing at?” I demand. “Is my hair a mess?”
“Well, it’s been neater. And you have the imprint of my chest hair on your cheek.”
I gasp and raise a hand to cover my hot cheek. Then I can’t help but laugh when Cade does too.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, as long as Nell doesn’t want to punish me for breaking the rules.”
“She could’ve come in. She’s done that before. So maybe she’ll let us have this one slipup.”
“Let’s hope. Goodbye, angel.”
I just woke up from a sound sleep. And I’m currently overwhelmed with warm, sappy feelings for this man.
That’s the only explanation.
Without thinking, I say as he opens the door, “Goodbye, Captain Cade. Be safe. Love you.”
The door is closing on those last two words, so my only hope for not dissolving into a pool of hot mortification is that maybe he didn’t hear them.
The sky is clear tonight, but I don’t go out onto the roof at all.