Chapter 34
— Scout —
After the late night and stress of yesterday, exhaustion had me sleeping until late morning. We had the day off in Minneapolis before the next series started tomorrow.
Reaching for my phone and squinting at the bright screen, my resting pulse skipped a beat to see I had a message from Remmy—received over an hour ago. I didn’t click on it right away in favor of a text above it from an unknown number.
Unable to ignore the kick of worry, I tapped on that message first. My lips thinned, then pressed into a hard line as I read.
Unknown: Hey, it’s Bass—Remmy’s brother. She’s not going to tell you this, but she got a bunch of death threats overnight so I’m keeping her at my place for the foreseeable future.
“The fuck?” I breathed out, now sitting up in bed, wide awake. My thumb worked with urgency they had no business having so soon after waking.
Me: Are you fucking serious?
Bastian’s reply was almost instant.
Bass: Yeah man. Makes me want to hunt everyone down and watch the world burn.
I pursed my lips harder, making my teeth dig into them.
Me: Get in line. And shut down her socials immediately.
Bass: She’s just done that. But it won’t do anything to stop the media getting a grip on it.
Groaning, I scrubbed a hand roughly over my face. What a clusterfuck. And I couldn’t wait another minute to call her.
I drummed my fingers on my bent knee while waiting for Remmy to answer my video call. When her exhausted face appeared on screen, it added fuel to my vibrating anger.
“Hey—”
“When were you going to tell me about the death threats?”
Immediately ready to brawl, her chin tucked back, and her expression darkened. “Fucking Bass!”
“Leave him out of this,” I snapped, frustration bubbling and boiling so violently I could barely contain it.
Remmy rolled her eyes. “I didn’t want you to worry. Besides, it’s no big deal.”
I ground my teeth so hard my jaw ached, and the sharp breath expelled through my nose made my nostrils flare. Lord give me strength.
“That’s beside the point. It’s the same situation as finding out about your FootFet stuff. If I hadn’t stumbled upon that, who knows when you were going to fill me in.”
“Fill you in?” Her voice pitched, complementing the waves of fuck you radiating in my direction.
I steeled myself for the brunt of the storm.
“Okay,” she spat. “Since we’re playing this game: When the fuck were you going to tell me about your bulimia?”
I swore my heart stopped dead in my chest. Stunned with my jaw hanging slack, I fought to breathe, let alone reply.
Remmy’s humorless snort came through my phone. “Let me guess, never?”
“How did—?” I croaked.
Another scoff came, and she rolled her eyes again. “Oh please. I might be self-absorbed ninety percent of the time, but I notice things. More than you realize.”
“I’m not bulimic,” I exclaimed, voice pitching with offense. “It’s just before games.”
That excuse sounded fucking pathetic even to my own ears.
“Bullshit,” she snapped, calling me out. “Don’t lie to me, Scout. You can at least do me that honor. And we both know it’s not just before games.”
A bitter growl wove its way up my throat. “Like you haven’t lied to me?”
“I’ve never lied. I’ve been open with what you’ve wanted to know.”
“Open!” I threw up an arm and flipped back the sheet. Pacing the length of my hotel room, I shoved a hand through my hair. “You wouldn’t have told me shit if it hadn’t blown up in your face each time. What the fuck else are you hiding? Because fuck, Remmy…” I released a bitter laugh. “…you’re not exactly the path of least resistance.”
An ugly pause came. One where her eyes flashing made the knot in my chest pull tighter.
“Fuck you. I’m worth every bit of turbulence. If you can’t handle me, I suggest you man up and dump my ass so I can find someone who can.”
“ Don’t push me, woman.”
“Or what?”
My jaw ticked. She had me in checkmate. I wouldn’t say she could fuck off and go to hell. She would. She’d literally disappear without another trace just like the other two times. I wasn’t fool enough to test fate a third time, no matter how ballsy I was.
“Or what ?” Remmy reiterated through clenched teeth.
Her green eyes burned bright with an unstoppable spirit that would rather see the world burn than back down.
“You’re not going to bait me into saying something I’ll regret,” I drawled arrogantly. “If I was home, I’d spank some goddamn sense into you, right before I fucked it into you for good measure.”
“You chauvinistic pig ,” she spat.
A gritty chuckle rumbled in my chest. “That, I’m most certainly not. Even ask my momma—she raised me right.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
“Great,” she countered defiantly.
Pinching the bridge of my nose failed to bring calm. “Look, can we actually have a decent conversation about the death threats?”
Remmy scoffed. “Yeah, we can if you quit swinging your dick around and stop trying to call the shots.”
“Swinging my di—” I pressed my thumb and forefinger into my eye sockets. Christ, fuck me to tears. “You know what? I’m not even going to get into that with you again.” I huffed out a breath. “I’ll listen.”
“Good,” she quipped. “Now, if you hadn’t come out all guns blazing and dick swinging…”
I barely suppressed a growl. She knew exactly what buttons to press, and it took all my composure to not fall into her little canary trap.
“...I would have told you that I don’t give a fuck about the threats. They’re exactly that. Threats . Slung by keyboard warriors who don’t have anything better to do with their lives than care about mine. It’s pathetic, and I won’t let it get to me.”
“Whether you let it or not, Remmy, it will affect you in some way, shape, or form.”
Hell, I spoke from experience. I wasn’t behind the wheel during the accident all those years ago, but I carried the guilt as if I was. What I couldn’t handle after it happened were the looks laced with judgement. The hissed, angry words from people who thought they knew me. Who believed that I should shoulder more of the blame since I was the kid born into Gatlin Falls’ founding family.
The threats to watch my back eventually stopped, but the underlying insecurity they created proved hard to forget.
A shiver snaked down my spine thanks to those bitter memories.
“I won’t let it,” Remmy bit back.
“You don’t get a choice in that matter, honey. There’s literally no controlling it. No matter what you say or think or do, this type of shit messes with your head. You need to let people in and accept our help.”
A little piece of hell glaciated as her eyes narrowed. “That’s all very self-righteous of you. When are you going to take your own advice?”
That had me biting down. Hard. Working my teeth back and forth while I held her fierce stare. My head wasn’t so far up my ass that I didn’t feel the stinging truth in her words. I’d been to a couple of shrinks over the years. Repented any chance I got for the accident. But the subtle lift of Remmy’s chin had my stomach clenching.
This wasn’t about my teenage indiscretions.
This was about my inability to accept the fact that I choose denial over facing my demons.
I swallowed against the familiar roll in my stomach.
“Don’t do it,” Remmy murmured, like she could read inside my head.
My nostrils flared as I hauled in an inhale. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
Her expression softened slightly. “You do,” Remmy replied gently. “You’ve got the same look on your face when you talk about the crash. And before I left the hotel room yesterday morning. I know, Scout. Don’t lie to me like you lie to yourself.”
“I legit feel sick before every game. Being sick settles those pregame nerves.”
“And all the other times?” she challenged, her tone regathering strength.
I sniffed hard, flaring my nostrils again. “Inconsequential.”
The squaring of her shoulders was nothing but dismissive. “Right. We’re still in the denial phase.” A terse pause hung for two breaths before she finger-combed her long hair. “I’d rather talk about this in person when you get back to Portland. Among other things.”
A humorless smirk quirked one side of my mouth. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”
She tousled her hair again. “Well, we’ve decided that we’re all in, right?”
“You’re mine, Remmy. I’m all fucking in.”
Approval flickered through her expression. “At least we’re on the same page with that.”
Sitting my ass on the bed, I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Thank Christ.”
Remmy scoffed, though otherwise ignored my muttering. “There is something else.”
My lungs contracted and I braced for impact. “Fuck, what is it?”
“I’ve had a FootFet client make a proposal…”
I straightened and gave her my full attention. “What type of proposal?” It was a fine line between sounding interested and adding the right amount of disdain.
“One that would make him an exclusive client.”
I sat forward and lifted my brows. “No others?”
Her gnawing on her lower lip had me fighting to stop from pushing too hard.
“No. Just him,” Remmy replied.
“Is he an existing client?”
“No.”
I pressed my lips together. “There would need to be an ironclad NDA and legal contract. How much are we talking?”
Remmy’s statue relaxed a little. “Twenty thousand a month.”
I balked, playing my part. “Twenty!”
“Yeah. I’d be stupid to turn it down.”
“So, do it.” I shrugged. “And if I’m fucking honest, I’d rather that one client had sole rights to your content than multiple. Especially now with everything going on with us.”
She nodded, deep in thought before snapping out of the daydream. “I’ve already decided to accept his offer, but I wanted to let you know.”
I smothered a snicker with my hand. Of course she’d already decided. Informing me was merely a formality—one that I appreciated.
“My brother Leif is a lawyer. I’ll ask him to get the contract and NDA sorted.” I trusted Leif with my life, and he was the only one I trusted to make those documents as ironclad as humanly possible. For Remmy’s sake, not mine.
Her eyes flickered with irritation again, but at least she took a goddamn second to check her thoughts. A beat later, she nodded. “Put us in contact.”
With a nod, I silently vowed to protect her. Fight for her. Lift her up when she was down and carry her even when she refused assistance.
While staring directly into her green eyes through my phone screen, realization hit, and hit hard: I’d fallen a little more and a little harder, and this was my way of upholding my internal promises to her.