Chapter 49
— Scout —
A month later, we sat in the same positions on the couch, sharing another tube of Pringles.
Since the day we shared that first tube four weeks ago, we’d fallen into this unspoken routine of debriefing from our therapy sessions over snacks.
And just like every other time so far, I narrowed my gaze on Remmy as she dug in the tube, completely aware of, yet completely ignoring, the weight of my glare as she popped a fresh chip into her mouth with a flourish.
She pinched her fingers in the air and hummed in food ecstasy, making me smile and shake my head for the untold time. And just like every other time to date, my heart skipped a little. I’d feed her the last crumb I owned just to see that bliss on her beautiful face.
“And,” she added after filling me in on her latest therapy session, turning her green eyes on me. They narrowed quickly when she realized I was watching her with a lopsided smirk. “Why you looking at me like that?”
I snickered. “Like what?”
“Like I’m an entire freak carnival.”
“You’re pretty.” I cleared my throat, feeling an overwhelming wash of affection for her.
The sensation wasn’t completely new but still felt foreign. It would hit me during the most menial of times. The times where we were simply quiet in each other’s company, or when we were fooling around and laughing. No matter the situation, it always took me off guard in a way that stole the air from my lungs.
Remmy scoffed. “You’ve got heart eyes again.”
Wordlessly, I reached for her. “That’s because I love you.”
“I love you too, Pringle breath.”
“Hypocrite,” I drawled, then kissed her.
Today, I’d had a great session with Toni, and ever since I’d opened up to Remmy about my triggers, a huge-ass weight had lifted from my shoulders. That first day, Remmy sat and listened but never questioned or judged. And every therapy day since, she did the same, just as I did for her.
“What were you going to say before?” I asked.
“Oh.” She kissed me back quickly before we resettled into the couch cushions. “I’m reducing to monthly sessions with Benita as of next week. I feel like I’m well and truly back on track and in control of my addiction again, and she agrees.”
“That’s fucking awesome, honey! Are our session days still going to line up?”
Our “defuck” days, we affectionately called them.
“Yup, they will, so stock up on these,” she laughed, squeezing her hand into the Pringle tube again.
Oh to be able to do that. My big-ass mitts couldn’t reach anything more than a finger’s length down, and that was with crushing the fuck out of the chips.
“You think I haven’t stocked up already?” I laughed. “Cillian is going to have a fit when he discovers how many we’ve got stashed.”
Remmy snickered while chewing. “Just tell him they’re mine, he won’t stay mad at me.”
I snorted. “That’s because you sweet-talk him and bat your oversized eyelashes at him.”
Her mouth fell open, and she pressed a hand to her chest. “I’m offended on behalf of my eyelash extensions!”
I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head again. In all honesty, it wouldn’t surprise me if she had some superstitious saying about her eyelashes too—she had one for her damn fingernails so surely there were more.
“I’ve seen them catch in the wind,” I teased, mimicking my fingers flailing like her lashes on a breezy day. It looked damned uncomfortable.
She scoffed. “And I’ve caught you checking yourself out in the car window reflection, so we’re even.”
“You’re comparing pickles with Kevlar, honey. One is strong and impressive; the other is oddly enjoyable even on its own.”
“Am I the fucking pickles ?” she exclaimed, outrage pitching her voice. But I saw the little tug on her mouth where amusement threatened.
I pointed to myself. “I mean… I ain’t the pickles, babe.”
“Ass!” she yelled, throwing a decorative couch pillow at my head, which I easily fended away with my left hand.
Despite not having to wear an elbow brace each day, I still favored my right arm, avoiding sudden movements and unnecessary strain on the healing tendon.
It was early days, but Linney had pressed her lips together this morning when examining my range of movement. I’d seen that expression many times before, and it normally came before she delivered bad news.
The “I expected the range of motion to be a little better by now, but it’s still early days” statement that she delivered with a slight frown had shaken me. I’d been keeping up with the light workout program she’d implemented, so, yeah, I couldn’t stop the prickle of worry from worming its way into my confidence.
“Hey, you started it, so don’t sit there glaring at me,” Remmy sassed, eyebrows arched high.
I startled from my thoughts. “Sorry, I was in a daydream… Come home with me,” I blurted, even surprising myself.
Remmy’s chin tucked back. “Like, back to your condo?”
Heat crept up my neck. I rubbed the back of it as if I’d be able to rub away the embarrassment from my seemingly random outburst.
“Uh, no. I meant, come back to Gatlin Falls with me.”
I couldn’t explain the overwhelming urge to introduce her in person to my parents and brothers. With an uncertain path ahead of me, maybe the fresh air of the Falls would help. I guessed Linney’s comments had gotten to me more than I thought.
I breathed through the tug in my belly, closing my eyes as I re-centered myself, just as Toni had taught me. Breath work worked. Who knew?
Remmy’s hand clasped mine, and I smiled gratefully while keeping my eyes shut. The rhythmic swipe of her thumb across the top of my hand tethered my racing thoughts. Her silent presence helped settle the uncomfortable roll in my stomach. As mild as it was and even with Remmy anchoring me, it still took effort to restrain.
I released a final, long exhale through my nose and opened my eyes. Remmy immediately smiled. Goddamn that smile—it centered me right back on the Earth where I needed to be.
“Visit Gatlin Falls with me,” I asked this time. “I’d like Mom and Dad to officially meet you.”
Understanding bloomed in her eyes, along with what I hoped wasn’t fear. “Are you sure? That’s kind of a big deal…”
A wash of doubt and insecurity had my movements faltering. Just for a fleeting moment, but disjointed nonetheless.
“Yeah. I mean, it doesn’t have to be right away, but I thought it would be cool…”
Remmy splayed a hand across the valley of her cleavage I loved smothering myself within. “I’d love to go back to Gatlin Falls with you—I used to love it there. But I’m asking to make sure you’re actually ready to take me there. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m an acquired taste. Sometimes I don’t fit in like I’m expected to.”
I shook my head. “No expectations. My parents already love talking to you over video call. You know you’re welcome there anytime.”
The cute-as-fuck little pucker reappeared between her brows. “I thought she was just saying that.”
I scoffed and kicked back, setting one ankle on the opposite knee. “Mom’s a nurse. Trust me when I say she doesn’t say shit she don’t mean. I think you’re both going to get along just fine.”
Remmy smirked. “She keeps your dad in line, doesn’t she?”
“Dad wouldn’t admit it, but yes.”
She laughed. “I like her even more now. Okay, you can take me to Gatlin Falls. Not now, but soon. Just give me some notice so I can send my client enough content to keep him happy for a few days.”
I lowered my chin and grinned devilishly, referring to myself in third person. “You definitely shouldn’t keep your client waiting. I’ve heard he’s developed an insatiable appetite for your content.”
A smile tugged at her schooled expression, and she flicked her hair dramatically. “He’s needy as fuck. I’m beginning to get concerned about his compulsive behavior. Especially when he’s entering my workspace trying to get behind the scenes previews.”
“They’re his favorite,” I murmured, voice low and gritty.
Remmy grinned. “And watching you get driven wild is mine.”
I hummed and reached for her. “You tease me.”
“That’s because I know you like it, and how much it turns you on,” she purred against my mouth before sealing her lips over mine.
One seductive swipe of her tongue and I was a goner. My right arm moved tentatively while the left bore no restraint. I tangled my fingers through her hair, tugging enough to make her groan, then pulled her away to issue one command.
“On your knees, honey. Now .”