Chapter 67 Daniel
Chapter 67
Daniel
Daniel hadn’t quite realised how encompassing his state of denial had been. That trick his mind was so good at, compartmentalising, had buried the fact of Ore’s departure so successfully that it hadn’t been until that morning that he’d actually come to believe it would happen.
How was he supposed to be with her for another night, now that the ache of loss had already started darkening his heart?
In the wheelhouse, he managed to distract himself for most of the day, plotting their way into the harbour, calling all the relevant officials to double and triple-check that their docking spot was reserved and ready. In the midst of his work, he revelled in the sense of order, the predictability of it all. He was in control, for what felt like the first time in days. When he was with Ore, sometimes the feelings were overwhelming, like he had lost mastery over his own mind.
He was deep in concentration when the radio cracked to life. ‘Captain Wilsons, do you copy?’ It was Vicky.
‘Hello, Vicky, yes, in the wheelhouse, copy.’
‘Roger that, on my way.’
It wasn’t a promising sign. Daniel wondered what crisis he might have to avert, what last-minute outlandish request Chuck had made now. They were so close to the end of the trip, Daniel found himself preparing his repudiations before Vicky had even walked through the door.
‘We’re on course, and I’m afraid there’s absolutely no changing it now,’ he said when she entered the room, not bothering to turn around.
‘What are you …?’ But she was only confused for a second. ‘I’m not here to relay some absurd message from Chuck. Don’t worry, Daniel.’ The tone of Vicky’s voice made Daniel turn around. It was strangely warm. That and the use of his first name made him sure this was not about to be the conversation he’d imagined.
‘Can I sit?’ Vicky gestured towards Dudley’s empty chair next to him.
‘Sure.’ Daniel turned so they were facing each other. He couldn’t help but feel like they were slightly too close to each other. ‘What did you want to discuss?’
Vicky took a deep breath. ‘I know that you and Ore are … seeing each other.’
Daniel felt his cheeks flush hot, but was grateful for Vicky’s wording at least. ‘Well … umm …’
‘There’s no point denying it, Daniel. Who do you think is dropping off the food every evening? And let me tell you that the walls are not as soundproof as you assume they are.’ Daniel’s embarrassment grew blistering. Vicky seemed to enjoy that, and she smirked before continuing.
‘And I also know that you and Carlos have been gossiping about the various … arrangements on board.’
Daniel had learnt enough from Ore to remember that he should fake cluelessness. ‘Arrangements?’
Vicky shifted in her seat. ‘I had Dudley come to me last night, in hysterics, asking if I knew about Annie signing an NDA. Information he sourced from you , Captain. I told him that I did, and that I encouraged her too and now he won’t speak to me. Apparently it’s all my fault that Annie got banished from this boat. Honestly, Captain, I preferred it when you knew to stay out of this sort of thing,’ she said evenly.
‘And it wasn’t your fault?’ It came out more accusatory than Daniel had intended.
Vicky scoffed. ‘You think that I did a bad thing to get Annie off this boat, away from a sexual predator with a huge payout?’ She shook her head. ‘Men never get it.’
‘And you also got a payout from Chuck though right? For the information you passed on?’ Daniel probed.
‘So what if I do? With men like Chuck, it pays to be on their good side, and it hurts, like really hurts not to be. Do you know what happened to the last girl Claude touched up? Chuck threatened to fire her, with immediate effect, and blackball her in the industry for making up lies about his “esteemed friend”. She had to beg and plead for her job, even after almost ten years of service and then she had to promise to be his eyes and ears, to get close to her staff and then betray them over and over again …’ Vicky’s voice cracked and she stopped abruptly.
Daniel knew the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he needed to be sure. ‘Who was that girl, Vicky?’
Vicky gave him a look, pleading with him not to make her say it out loud. Then she relented, slumped down in her chair as though the force of the confession had winded her. ‘It was me, Daniel, but I didn’t come here to tell you any of this, well I didn’t think I had; I came to say be careful. I don’t know for sure that you’re doing all this digging around for Ore, but if you are, stop, for your sake and hers.’
She leant forward now, urgently. ‘Chuck is a cruel, dangerous and powerful man, and if you cross him, if she writes something he doesn’t like, she’s finished. He knows everyone, every other powerful man in New York for a start, and if Ore doesn’t want whatever story she’s writing to be the last thing she ever publishes, she needs to stop, leave this boat, forget everything she’s heard and write the puff piece he wants.’ She paused for a moment. ‘And as for you, I’ll just say that Elizabeth Hartford is a close family friend. She and her husband take Chuck’s … character references very seriously.
‘Is this threat coming from you, Vicky … or Chuck?’
‘Does it matter?’ she said, suddenly sounding exhausted. ‘It’s real. That’s all you need to know. Take it from someone who knows – he has no qualms about ruining people’s lives.’
Message delivered, Vicky stood up and headed for the door. Daniel grabbed her hand as she walked past. ‘I’m sorry, Vicky, you should never have been treated like that.’
Vicky snatched her hand back. ‘Just get Ore to drop it,’ she said without turning back.
Vicky’s words swam around Daniel’s head for the rest of the day, whilst he went through the motions of manning the boat. Dudley’s arrival surprised him. He was losing track of time again.
‘OK, Captain?’ Dudley said as he took his seat. ‘You look a little out of it.’
‘I’m fine, thanks, Dudley,’ Daniel replied, though he avoided looking at Dudley in the eye as he walked out. He didn’t have the stomach for another heart-to-heart. That now familiar dread had resurfaced with a vengeance. He needed to see Ore, but he also didn’t want to lose his head again. He knew the conversation he needed to have wasn’t going to go down well. As he opened the door to his room, he half hoped she wasn’t on the inside.
Still, the sight of her was a balm – at least for a moment.
‘Hello, beautiful.’ It was strange how something could become a habit so quickly.
She smiled at him and then kissed him forcefully, but it only made him sadder. Something icy in his veins reached his heart and encased it. Self-preservation , he thought. As if sensing his resistance she took a step back from him, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. He wanted to go to her, unfurl her and kiss away the bewilderment in her eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. He wasn’t sure what she was apologising for. He suspected she wasn’t either.
‘It’s OK.’ He could hear how cold he sounded, how detached. He could see the twinge of hurt in her eyes before she looked down at her feet. If this was how it was going to go, he thought, he might as well get the whole job done. ‘I’ve been thinking about your article, and your request.’ His tone was brusque, businesslike. ‘I’ve given it some serious consideration and …’
She looked up at him then, the liquid of her brown eyes pooling, but her expression defiant. She uncrossed her arms and stood a little straighter. ‘You don’t want to be named. I get it,’ she said coolly, her voice unwavering but he could sense how hard she was trying not to cry.
‘I appreciate that.’ They were standing at an awkward distance. Daniel remembered he was still wearing his captain’s hat. He removed it.
‘I also wanted to say something else.’ He braced himself for impact; she didn’t react. He continued, ‘I don’t think you should try and publish it at all. I think you should take the job, file the original piece and just try and forget about everything else.’ Vicky probably knew Chuck as well as anyone ever could, and he couldn’t bear the idea of Ore putting herself in danger or harpooning her entire career before it had even begun.
Ore’s expression turned from disbelief, to bemusement and finally to rage. As it settled, it lost its heat and morphed instead into something frozen, impenetrable.
Ore brought her arms back across her chest, and shifted her gaze downwards. ‘Well thanks for the advice, Daniel. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me how to do my job. It’s pretty clear to me now where your loyalties lie, and maybe I was just the stupid, naive, inexperienced hack you and Chuck seem to think I am, for falling for all this …’ She gestured at the space between them.
The lump of ice wedged inside Daniel’s chest hardened. She thought he was a spy, a double-crosser, a liar. But he was worse than that; he was a coward. He was scared of Chuck, for himself, but more than that, for her. More than he wanted her to like him, to love him, he wanted her to be safe. He wasn’t as brave as her; he also wasn’t as foolish.
‘Ore, it’s for your own good …’ he started, but she cut him off.
‘You sound like Henry.’ And then with a sneer, she asked, ‘How much did he give you? More than the original $75k? I’d love to know how much your silence is worth.’
Maybe if she thought he was on the payroll, she would start to understand how far-reaching Chuck’s power really was. She’d realise it was a futile battle. So he said nothing, let her believe what she already seemed to believe.
‘Right, well, there’s quite literally nothing else to say, is there, Captain?’ Her raised eyebrow conveyed devastating disdain. He moved to the side to let her pass, and she slammed the door behind her.