Chapter 1
I’m standingin my sister’s old bedroom for the first time since she died.
It’s been an entire year and I haven’t been able to bring myself to go in here since the night of her fatal car accident. It’s clean and perfect, just as she was. I see all her cheerleading medals on the wall and shelves, signifying how talented she was.
Amber wasn’t just the star cheerleader of the Carolina Panthers, she was also the top student all throughout her schooling. She was beautiful, slender, smart and talented. Everything that I’m not.
The women in my family all share the same looks and attributes. Strong, independent, beautiful with ice blond hair and green eyes, slender and smart. Every Adams woman had every single one of those attributes until I was born. I came out short, curvy and with light blue eyes. I never really cared for academics or a tidy room. I’d much rather spend my time dancing to hip-hop songs or coming up with new lyrical choreography. I’ve been the odd ball out since birth.
That doesn’t mean that my family never loved me, they just struggled raising me. It was hard enough on my mom, a single mother who owns her own clothing shop on the beachside boardwalk in South Carolina. She gave birth to my sister and then four years later, had me. As soon as I was born, our father left and never came back. I’ve never met him, and I didn’t need to. Adams women have never needed a man, and our legacy shows that.
I walk to Amber’s dresser and stare at the photo of us that was taken the day of her college graduation. She looks like a model, and we are hugging each other close, big smiles plastered on our faces. She is in a dress and I am in my signature leggings, baggy t-shirt with large hoop earrings and a ballcap. She’s always been the girly girl, I came out like a tomboy, not that I cared. Our differences never altered our relationship. We had a great childhood growing up, until Amber went to college and started dating the star quarterback, Nathan Ross. She was the popular girl then, never visiting home and ignoring us when she did. When they graduated and both joined the Panthers, the distance grew. I’ve been missing her long before she died.
Long before that son of a bitch boyfriend of hers killed her in a car wreck. Nathan has claimed it wasn’t his fault, and we’ve been battling with his rich family every day since the accident. His dad owns the Carolina Panthers and has more money than God. More money than us and more power to silence our hatred for the fact that his son killed my sister. He swerved on the main road and a tractor trailer hit them head on, killing my sister immediately and nearly paralyzing Nathan, not that I care. He can go to hell after what he’s done. I can’t believe I ever had a crush on him. His arrogance and spoiled attitude should’ve been enough to turn me off. Killing my sister definitely did the trick.
I look at the picture next to the one of my sister and I. It is her and Nathan on a hot summer day on the beach. My sister is in a bright blue bikini, her long, toned body tan and wet in the sun. I pinch my pale skin and wonder why I am so different. I”m thick and short, my pale skin hates the sun. Although I am toned from my years of dancing, I am still insecure about my body. Insecure because I don’t look like any of the women in my family, except for the long, ice blond wavy hair. Insecure that I could never pull a guy that looks like Nathan Ross.
He holds her in his arms, his strong, muscular arms that bulge out like they’re trying to escape from his skin. His eyes are the color of a forest after a rainstorm, a dark, rich green. His dirty blond hair is shaved at the sides and messy at the top, matching the chin strap beard that fits his square jaw perfectly. He wears a cocky smirk, the same smirk he’s had all of his spoiled life. Because he was born a star, so he was treated like one.
Before the accident, Nathan Ross was the best rookie quarterback that the Panthers had seen in decades. His scores and records topped the charts, just like my sister’s. Until that night where they lost it all. Until that night when I lost everything because my sister died. When I lost everything because of Nathan Ross.
Mom won’t come up here, she’s busy packing my things to move into my new apartment. I graduated college last week and I spent my last year trying to scout different dance opportunities for my career. Nothing came up and I was starting to lose hope. Until one day, a muscular, beautiful black woman came to watch my last performance and pulled me aside. Her name is Mya Johnson, and she is the captain of the new Carolina Panthers Dance Team, something that they’ve never really had before since their dance team was more like a cheer squad. While the original team still performs, Mya went to the board and proposed a new option, to bring the true style of dance back to South Carolina. With her strong-willed attitude, she got it. She successfully drafted an entire dance team for the new season in three months, and she just needed one more girl. And that’s when she found me.
I wanted to decline her offer. I was still grieving, and I couldn’t imagine dancing on the same grounds that my sister performed on. Walking the same stadium that her killer walked, but after weeks of hopeless leads, I took her offer. It’s not like Nathan would be returning anyways. His injuries and shame should be enough to keep him away for good.
“Alyssa!” My mom calls out from downstairs.
I sigh. I hate that she calls me by my full name. She’s the only one that does. I’ve gone by Lissie my entire life. I snag the photo of my sister and I and shove it in my large hoodie pocket before running downstairs.
It’s time to start my life. It’s time to move on, without my sister, even though I’ll be carrying her with me forever.