Chapter 5
Cassidy
Iam so fucked.
I knew it the moment he sat next to me on the plane and rubbed those tiny little circles on my bare thighs. I tried to convince myself that this was just a vacation between friends. Yeah, who was I kidding?
I was playing with fire, and the fucked-up part about this… I kind of liked it.
He followed quietly, not making any attempts to catch up. Yet despite the distance, I felt his hot gaze boring into me, my entire body heating from the warmth. I shouldn’t feel this way, I know. I just got out of a relationship, an almost marriage, but I can’t help but want to keep this feeling. Play the game. See how far I can push to get Channing to crack.
He’s been my best friend for years, but I can’t help the deep feeling of want I buried after he called us a mistake. Maybe a vacation fling is what we both need. A week of no-strings-attached boning to get over a heartbreak should do. Right?
“Uh…” Channing says, squeezing the back of his neck. “Did you want to shower first or should I—”
“Yes—” I say, a little too quickly, cutting him off. “You do that. Shower. First, I mean.”
God, could I sound anymore like a blubbering idiot right now. I was so confident in my teasing before, swaying my hips a little too much in my bikini to rile him up. But one mention of a shower, and I lose all common sense. My mind drifted off to the dirtiest depths they could have gone. Envisioning us together in the shower. His rough, calloused hands dragging down my sides, caressing my curves with much considered care and attention. Igniting my already molten-hot core. My body arching into him as he kisses his way between my breasts before biting my pert nipple.
Shit. Stop.
God, I need to get away from him. Take a walk or something to clear the conflicting thoughts I’m having. A smirk forms at the corner of his lips before he turns and walks toward the bathroom. I wait for the door to shut before quickly moving to the front entrance of the villa, making sure I’m a good distance away before pulling my phone out and calling the one person who would always give it to me straight.
“I swear to God, if you’re calling me because Halloway did something stupid already, I’m going to get on the next flight to come kick his ass,” Hayley says in a breath.
I can’t help but smile at her protectiveness. “Call off the hounds, Hayley. Channing has been nothing shy of a gentleman,” I say, back in reassurance.
“Well, that’s good,” she says, slightly easing her defense. “So, why are you calling me then?”
Lie. Lie through your teeth, Cassidy.
“No reason,” I say, my voice particularly high. A tell-tale sign that I’m lying. “I just wanted to talk to my favorite person.”
“Okay, spill,” she says, a slight smirk to her tone. “I know you’re lying, so you might as well just spill the beans already.”
Nothing’s happened, so are there really any beans to spill? Well, maybe. If you consider the idea of Channing handcuffing me to the bed in our villa and having his wicked way with me, then… yeah. I guess I do have a few things to get off my chest.
But a part of me wants to hide from this truth. The guilt that I am lusting after a guy who has made it clear that nothing can ever happen between us, and well, the fact it’s literally only been a week since I had my heart ripped out and trampled on is front and center in the back of my mind. Eating away at me bit by bit the longer I keep it bottled up.
Realizing there’s no way out of it, I release a loud sigh. “I’m pretty sure Channing’s not going to be the problem this weekend.”
The line is quiet for a moment, her silence causing my panic to rise. “I shouldn’t have called you about this. You knew this would be a disaster from the beginning. I should have just stayed home.”
“Hey now, I didn’t say anything. You’re the one who is insinuating things. But I did tell you this could go bad with knowing your feelings for him,” she says, in an I told you so voice.
“I know.” I plop down on a bench lining the path, leading away from the villa. “I don’t know what to do, Hayley. I’m in over my head here. I should be heartbroken and use this time to heal. Yet all I can think about is Channing and having his hands all over me. I’m going insane. I feel guilty for even think things like this.”
“Fuck guilt,” she says, as if she’s angry. “You have no reason to feel guilty. You’re a single woman who is free to do whatever and whomever she wants. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s Vince. Plus, you’ve been in love with Channing forever; maybe this is your chance to see what could be.”
“Hayley, you know that would never happen. He made that very clear.”
“Well then make him see differently. Look, I know what Vince did was horrible, but I know the look of uncertainty you get when you’re contemplating things.” She releases a strangled breath before continuing. “I don’t think you wanted to marry Vince. I think you compromised for the sake of your heart because the person you really wanted is emotionally unavailable for some unknown reason. So, would you please for once in your life, take the jump and make him see that you’re the person for him?”
“I don’t know—” I start to say as I’m cut off by a masculine voice that could only belong to Brooks. I should have known he’s close by and listening. Waiting for me to call saying Channing fucked up.
“Is that Cass?” he questions before snatching the phone from Hayley. I hear her faint protests through the line and can’t help but smile at the two of them and their love. It’s like something you can only dream up in a romance novel. Yet, they have it. And it’s real. “Cassie? Hey, look, I know I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help myself.” I feel my smile growing as I shake my head. “I only lectured Halloway to keep it in his pants because I know him. The first sign that he’s getting too close to any sort of feelings, he bolts and fucks everything up. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. But…”
Brooks pauses for a moment. The silence on the line drives me mad with anticipation. Brooks is like a brother to me and has been a huge support system since everything with Vince.
“But I think Hayley is right.” Wait, did he just say what I think he said? I have to be hallucinating. “You and Halloway are two peas in a pod. You should take this opportunity to see where this could go.”
“But he told me it would never happen. You’re forgetting… that ship has sailed several years ago and though I may still have feelings for him, he’s made it pretty clear that he has none for me.”
“Yeah, I call bullshit on that,” Brooks says through a laugh. “Look, Halloway’s complicated. Always has been, maybe always will be. However, I’ve never known Halloway to get on a flight and go on a vacation when training camp is literally on the horizon. He wants you as much as you want him. You just have to get him to pull his head out of his ass long enough to see it.”
Could Channing really want me? Everything between us has always been so trivial after he called me a mistake, but could he have said that as some kneejerk reaction? Could all the little unimportant moments we’ve spent together really be a front to hide how he truly feels about me?
“But how?” I ask as a million thoughts run through my mind.
“Operation Sex Kitten!” I hear Hayley yell in the background.
“What the hell is Operation Sex Kitten?” Brooks counters.
“It’s what we would have called the operation to get you back if you hadn’t decided to pull your head out of your ass and get me back first.”
“And what the hell is this operation supposed to entail? Kiss another guy in front of me at a bar while you grind up on him? Oh wait, you already did that then,” Brooks counters, and I can’t help but chuckle.
Hayley and Brooks by no means had an easy start to their relationship. He had his head up his ass because of his trust issues, and Hayley hid her son’s true father identity, as well as who she really was. I can count on my fingers the number of times they broke up, but they always managed to come back to one another. No matter how stubborn one another was.
“Okay, you two. I’m going to let you duke this out and get back to my villa,” I say, as they continue their banter, hanging up without either one of them noticing.
I roll my neck to relieve some tension as the cool island breeze fills my lungs. It’s warm but no longer as scorching hot as it once was. With the island sun setting along the horizon, I make my way back to the villa. Pushing open the door ever so slightly, I slip back inside quietly, walking toward the kitchen, opening a bottle of fresh champagne, and pouring a heaping glass.
I put the glass to my lips, taking a sip as a voice sounds from the patio. “There you are,” Channing says, walking through the double French doors dressed in a pair of flat-front khaki shorts and a crisp white tee that does nothing but hug his muscular body in all the right places. “I was beginning to think I needed to call the U.S. Embassy because you’ve been kidnapped.”
I swallow the lump in my throat as the nerves work their way through my system. Yet, my traitorous body heats under his gaze as he studies me. I chug the rest of the contents in my glass before placing it in the sink and turning to face him, my hip leaning against the granite countertop.
God, he’s gorgeous.
Wait, can you say that about a man? Yes. Yes, you can. Especially when it comes to talking about Channing Halloway. The way his tousled sandy-blond hair falls slightly in his face, as he leans with both arms against the granite countertop. His muscular arms flexing under his weight as his blue eyes bore into mine. My mind drifts to the hotel room. The night we spent together so long ago. The things he did to me. The way my body heated and nipples peaked as he nipped, licked, and teased them with tender bites. I tug my bottom lip between my teeth as I feel my arousal building.
Shit.
Snap out of it, Cassidy.
“Uh, I decided to take a walk,” I say, as I try to clear my mind from the past.
He nods before pulling back, rapping his fist on the counter twice. “Everything okay?”
“Yup,” I say, quickly. Almost too quickly. “I’m just going to shower really quick, then we can go eat.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond as I turn on my heels and rush toward the bedroom. Swiftly, I shut the bathroom door and lean against it. My breathing is ragged coming out in short breaths as I try to get my indecent thoughts to go away. But who am I kidding? Channing is every girl’s wet dream and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to stop my attraction to him.
My phone vibrates in my hand with a message as I turn to start the shower.
Hayley: Operation Sex Kitten!! Go get ’em, tiger!
I can’t help but laugh as I strip out of my clothes. Stepping in the hot stream, the water slides down my back, soothing my tense muscles. I lather my hair with shampoo as I think about what Hayley and Brooks said. Have I really been that blind to not see that the reason Channing pushed me away is because he wants me just as badly as I want him?
I mean, I’ve been fantasizing about the guy ever since our night together. I know… it sounds completely wrong of me to be fantasizing about another man when I was getting married to someone else, but how could I not? Channing is HOT, and the chemistry we had was explosive. It’s pretty hard to forget. I would never act on it though… unlike Vince who obviously couldn’t keep it in his pants. But maybe Vince cheating on me was a sign—a sign for me to give into those fantasies. See if what Channing and I had could be more.
That’s it.
I’ve made up my mind. It’s time I go after what I want, and what I want is Channing Halloway. No more hiding my attraction and feelings for him. Brooks and Hayley are right. He wants me as much as I want him, and goddamn it, I’d be a fool to let it slip through my fingers once again.
I finish my shower and retreat to the bedroom. Okay, Operation Sex Kitten. Well, that shouldn’t be a problem considering I never repacked my suitcase with more appropriate outfits. I scrounged through my suitcase, pulling out a long white maxi dress with cutout sides and a back that dips so low, underwear isn’t even an option.
After quickly blowing out my hair and donning some natural makeup, I finally emerge from the bedroom. Channing is on the couch, tapping away on his phone. However, when he senses me, his head lifts ever so slightly. He looks amused, wearing his signature devious smirk, but it vanishes as fast as it appears, leaving behind a scowl. His jaw tightens as his eyes roam the length of my shapely body. So not the reaction I was hoping for.
“Are you ready to go?” I ask as if I couldn’t be bothered by his reaction. With a slight nod, he stands from the couch and opens the front door, holding it for me to pass through.
I walk a few feet ahead of him. A confident smirk on my face. I’ve gotten under his skin. It’s completely obvious. Let’s just hope that Operation Sex Kitten doesn’t blow up in my face by the end of this week.
I’m not sure my heart could withstand another blow.