Chapter 20
Channing
“Hello?” Her voice echoes through the line. Timid. Sad.
When she came up to me at the holiday party, I was too distracted by her beauty to see the growing bump. I had to grit my teeth the moment I realized she was pregnant as the thought of her having a baby with someone else pissed me off. But the moment she told me the baby was mine, I froze. It was as if everything that had happened over the past four months was about to happen all over again. She wanted me to say something, and I just stood there like a dumbass.
“Cassidy, I—” I start to say, pausing because I know I fucked up. I was angry, confused, upset with myself. Yet I know I shouldn’t have walked away. “I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have assumed things and reacted the way I did. I was just—I was taken by surprise.”
“Imagine how surprised I was when I found out,” she says, sarcastically.
I can only imagine how she felt the moment she realized she was pregnant. Alone. Afraid. No, that’s not Cassidy. She’s strong willed and can take anything head on, but I know she must have been reeling, knowing she was pregnant. Especially when she pushed me away. It was my own fault, but I was the reason she did. And now, she’s been doing all this on her own.
Yeah, I’m a hundred percent an asshole.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, knowing it’s not the real question I want to ask, but it’s a start.
She releases a sigh, and I hear the sheets move in the background, knowing she’s probably in bed, and I may have woken her. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No. It’s okay,” she says, on a sniffle. “I could be better.” She pauses for a moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
How long has she had to do this alone? Why didn’t she feel she could tell me? God, Natasha really fucked things up for me and just when I felt like I could fix this shit, I blow it up even more. I look at her apartment and wonder if she’d let me in if she knew I was outside. On instinct, my feet move to the front of her building, my finger pressing the buzzer before I say anything else.
“Can you hold on a second? Someone’s at my door.”
“It’s me,” I say, before she presses the intercom. “Please talk to me, Cass.”
The line on the phone goes dead and before I know it, I’m being buzzed into the building. I take the stairs two at a time until I reach the third floor. Her door opens, and she leans against the doorjamb as if she’s been waiting for me.
“Hey,” I say, feeling awkward but breathless at how gorgeous she looks.
“Hey,” she says, slightly blushing. She moves into her apartment, and I follow her in, shutting the door behind me. “You can have a seat in the living room. I’ll be back with some drinks.”
I watch her leave the room, my eyes roaming her body. The navy sleep shorts and button-up top showcase her growing bump. God, I missed her so much. What would my kid think when they find out their dad wasn’t around in the beginning? She walks back in carrying two mugs. One with a tea bag, and the other smells of coffee. She places the mug in front of me before taking a seat next to me on her white couch.
She tucks her legs underneath her before bringing the cup of hot liquid to her lips, blowing it to cool off before taking a sip. “So, I guess you wanna talk about all of this,” she says, moving her hand in a circle above her bump.
I take a sip of coffee before placing it down on the dark oak coffee table. My body is positioned to face her as she sips her tea. “How many weeks are you?” I say, curiously.
“Twenty. Halfway there and before you get angry about not being there for it, I’m going to tell you it’s okay. You had a lot going on, and I didn’t want to add any more stress onto you or add even more rumors to the rumor mill because of it,” she says, looking down, slowly caressing her belly. “I was going to tell you the moment I found out about Natasha, but every time I picked up the phone to call you, I chickened out. I didn’t want you to think I was using you the way Natasha was. But I guess I kinda made you think that anyway.” She looks up to me, her gaze connecting with mine as unshed tears fill her eyes. “I’m so stupid. I should have told you the moment I found out regardless, instead of thinking I could manage it all on my own.”
Without thinking, I reach out to her, pulling her into my chest. Her body instantly relaxes in my hold. How could she ever think I wouldn’t be there to help her through this? That I wouldn’t want her. My hands rub her back gently as warm tears soak into my shirt.
“It’s okay,” I whisper into her ear. “I’m here now, and I’m never going to leave you both ever again.”
The moment she pulls back to look into my eyes, my mouth finds her. Her head tilts to the side as she kisses me back. The kiss deepens as my hand finds the back of her head.
“Channing,” she moans as she lets go of my lips. I trail kisses to her jaw and neck, biting, sucking, and licking. Her hands move to the front of my dress pants, fumbling with the belt buckle. My focus moves to her nipple as my tongue licks and nips the pink bud into an erect peak, when I feel her hand grip and tighten around my cock, eliciting a moan from both of us.
“Cassidy,” I hiss out as her hand moves up and down, jerking my cock.
“Channing.” She moves her hands to my chest, pushing aggressively so my back is flush against the couch as she straddles me. Her hands brush my hair from my face before she crushes her mouth to mine again, grinding her pussy on my cock.
“Fuck,” I mumble under my breath as I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes to rein in some control. “Cassie—” I say, gripping her chin to look at me. “I didn’t come here for that. I came to apologize.”
“So, you don’t want me. Us,” she says quickly, moving back to her spot.
Shit. The look of terror on her face has me pulling her back to me before she tries to push me away. Again. “No—I mean yes, I want you both. I just think we should go slow. Take a few days to get back to us. Plus, I don’t want to hurt the baby.”
“People have sex all the time while pregnant, Channing. You’re not going to hurt the baby.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather take my chances,” I say, smiling at her. “I want this, Cass. I want all of it with you. I just don’t want you to think that this—” I say, gesturing to my boner that has yet to go down. “Is all I want from you.”
“So, slow as in date each other and not just the sex portion.”
“Yes.”
She presses her lips into a line, nodding slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I repeat with a smile tugging at the ends of my mouth. “So, what do you say we go out on Friday? We get in Thursday night late from Toronto, so I have off the next day.”
“Or—” she says, lifting my arm and placing it around her shoulder, allowing her to snuggle into my side. “You could come with me to my OB appointment and ultrasound. I’m supposed to find out the gender of the baby on Friday. Then we could go furniture shopping. I should start getting the nursery together.”
A sense of excitement and nervousness recoils through me. Now, I can’t wait for Friday.
“Are you sure you want to know the gender? I mean, I’m okay with waiting,” she says to me as we walk toward the clinic for her ultrasound.
This past week’s road trip has gone quick yet long. Winning two out of three games, I can’t wait to get home the moment the plane lands back in Seattle. The anticipation of seeing Cassidy again has distracted me all week. Well, that and the fact she has been sending me videos of her belly as our baby has been kicking and moving all over the place.
Our baby.
My baby.
I can’t believe I actually get to say it this time and it be real. With Cassidy nonetheless. I can’t believe she thought I wouldn’t want her or the baby after she told me. I’ve wanted her for so long; even when I told her I couldn’t be with her after our first hookup, I still wanted her.
“Yes,” I say, as we reach the door to the clinic. “And you’re not going to convince me otherwise.”
I place a gentle kiss to her forehead before opening the door for her. We check in at the front desk, where the registrar couldn’t stop staring at me. We take our seat in the waiting room. My knee bobs up and down the entire time as our appointment time gets closer.
“Reynolds,” the medical assistant calls out to us before instructing us to follow her down the hall.
She has Cassidy stand on the scale, taking her weight before having her enter the exam room. She takes a seat on the exam table while the medical assistant hooks her up to a blood pressure cuff, while she asks questions that I guess are standard when it comes to this type of thing.
A short while later, there’s a knock at the door. A male doctor looking like Mark Sloan from Grey’s Anatomy pops his head in, and I’m immediately on guard. “Cassidy, so good to see you today. Who do you have with you today?”
“Dr. Brown, this is Channing Halloway. You may know him from the Skipjacks.”
“Ah yes,” he says, extending his hand toward me. “Mark Brown, nice to meet you. Heard all about your team, however, can’t say I’ve watched them much.”
I narrow my eyes at him as I reach out and shake his hand. He flashes a cocky smirk my way before turning his attention back to Cassidy, and I can’t help the tensing of my jaw.
“So, we get to find out the gender today. Are you ready for that?” he says, placing his hand on Cassidy’s knee.
I’m two seconds away from snapping and knocking the guy’s lights out when Cassidy shifts, causing him to pull his hands away. “Yes. We both are super excited to find out if we’re having a little figure skater or peewee hockey player.”
“Right,” he says, moving through his exam; the flirtatious smile he had been flashing her way is completely gone. “Well, everything from your blood pressure to your weight is right on target. Let me just step out and grab the ultrasound tech so we can get your anatomy scan completed.”
I watch as he exits the room, leaving Cassidy and me alone momentarily. However, my growing irritation with what just happened continues as my knee bounces up and down.
“Are you okay?” she asks as I clench my jaw.
“Yup,” I mutter under my breath just as Doctor McDouche walks back into the room.
He instructs Cassidy to lift her shirt to expose her belly before squirting a clear blue-tinged gel. Using the probe to smear the gel around, we focus on the screen as the baby comes into view. I listen to the doctor identify each body part, as the tech takes measurements to make sure all is okay. The probe moves to magnify between the legs, and that’s when they stop looking to Cassidy before proceeding.
“You ready to find out what you’re having?” he questions her again, smiling at her and completely ignoring the fact I’m here, and she’s holding my hand.
Prick.
“Yes. We’re ready.”
The tech moves the probe around, pressing some buttons to zoom in on the area. I gently squeeze her hand, bringing it to my lips and placing gentle kisses along her knuckles as I wait for the result.
“Looks like we’re having…” he says, before looking at her with a slight smirk. “A girl.”
“You’re sure?” she asks, looking at me to gauge my reaction.
“As sure as I’ll ever be. Congratulations,” he says, pressing the button to print a few photos before turning back to her. “Here are some photos for you. As I said before, everything looks great with this little girl. I’ll see you again in three weeks for a follow-up prenatal, but in the meantime if you need anything… and I mean anything at all… don’t hesitate to call me. You have my cell.”
Cassidy squeezes my hand, while the other balls into a tight fist. Like hell she’ll be calling him with any issues. And if I have it my way, she won’t be seeing him as her OB again.
She wipes the gel from her belly and pulls her shirt back into place while scooting to the end of the bed. I reach out a hand and help her off before we head toward the exit.
“I have to stop to make my follow-up appointment,” she says, as we make it to the front of the clinic. Studying my profile while we wait for the receptionist to get off the phone, she asks me again, “Are you okay?”
Gritting my teeth, I say, “I’m fine.” My gaze refuses to meet hers but is fully trained on the offender of my bad mood. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
I walk out of the clinic door but hang near the entrance as I watch the asshole approach her. He places his hand on her lower back as he talks to her about God knows what. I’ll certainly give him something else to talk about.
Cassidy moves out of his touch as she turns her attention back to the receptionist. Once done, she turns back to Dr. Prick, saying a few more words before making her way toward me. I turn my back to the door and pretend to be fascinated by something on my phone.
As we walk toward my car, Cassidy hangs back a little behind me. I pull the passenger side door open for her, waiting for her to climb in when she stops and looks at me. And I mean really looks at me. Her lips purse as she contemplates her next move.
“Enough of this. What the fuck is going on with you?” she says, with her arms resting against the open door.
“Nothing.” It’s a one-word response I know woman hate, but it’s all I’m willing to give right now to control my temper.
“Sure as hell doesn’t feel like nothing,” she says, placing her hands on her hips. “You either start talking now, or I start walking home. Or better yet, I’ll just go back inside and ask Dr. Brown to give me a ride home.”
“The fuck you will,” I say, clenching my jaw tight and from the smirk on Cassidy’s face, I’ve just shown my ace.
“So, it is about him,” she says, dropping her hand and stepping closer to me. I avert my gaze from her as she wraps her hands around my waist, pulling me as close to her as she can get with her bump between us. “You’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
She looks up at me, gripping my chin so my eyes meet hers. “Are too. I saw the way you gritted your teeth when he touched me.”
“He’s your doctor; he should be professional, not thinking about how he wants to fuck you,” I say, my irritation building again.
“He doesn’t want to fuck me.”
I let out a huff of disbelief. “Yeah, and I’m the queen of England. Of course he wants to fuck you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, so if my doctor caressed my leg or put her hands on my hips in an intimate way, that’s completely okay?”
She looks pissed before turning to get in the passenger seat and slamming the door shut. I’m about to round the front of the car to get in on the driver side when she gets out to look at me again. “First, your doctor is Hayley and if she’s touching you in that way, I think we have bigger problems afoot. Second, he’s been there for me most of this pregnancy, something I can’t say for others involved.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? It’s kinda hard to be there for someone when they didn’t even know about the pregnancy to begin with,” I say, pulling the driver side door open and getting in the car.
She plops down in the passenger seat, turning herself to face the window. I pull up to the curb of her apartment building, completely ignoring the fact we had plans to go shopping today. She climbs out of the car to look back at me as I don’t move from my seat.
“Aren’t you coming up?” she asks, pressing her lips into a firm line.
I should go with her. Apologize for that ridiculous display of jealousy, but I can’t. I’m too fired up. Instead of caving, I don’t look at her and say, “I forgot I have something to do.” She slams the door to my SUV.
I don’t wait for her to reach her door, I put my car into drive and pull away from the curb and head to the nearest bar. I find a parking space and walk in, taking a seat toward the back so no one will recognize me. I order a beer and take a swig as soon as it’s set in front of me.
How could she think that anything that so-called doctor is doing is professional? The moment he walked into the room, he was practically eye fucking her. It didn’t help that she didn’t even tell him I was the father of her child. She just introduced me as Channing Halloway from the Skipjacks. Come on. How is he supposed to know you’re taken when you don’t even say I’m your baby daddy?
Okay, that doesn’t sound good either. But she could have at least said something so the prick could keep his hands, eyes and dick away from her. Yup, that’s going to be a thing I fix as soon as I get my shit together.
I finish my beer before placing a twenty on the bar. Walking back to my car I contemplate whether I should just go back to my place for the night or go to Cassidy. Before I even make up my mind, my car is parked in front of her apartment building. I walk toward the door just as another resident is leaving the building. I catch the door before it closes and press the elevator button.
I step in and stand to the side as it takes me to her floor. Stepping out, I stop right in front of her door and raise my hand to knock, but it flings open before I get a chance. Cassidy is standing in front of me, wearing a pair of gray sweats with her hair in a messy bun. Her eyes are rimmed red as she stares at me.
“I hate you, you know that,” she says, as she wipes her nose with that back of her hand. “But I love you too much to hate you.”
I step toward her, pulling her to me, her warm tears soaking my chest. Backing her into her apartment, I use my foot to kick her door shut. Looking up at me, she moves halfway to me as my mouth meets hers. We move our heads to the side to deepen the kiss.
It’s right here, right now that I know I’ll never let her go.