Chapter 49
PAUL
It was the final week before Christmas, and the last week I’d be manning the café van at Willow’s winter wonderland.
I saw Holly every day greeting visitors and fixing things in Mistletoe Lane and overnight, she stayed with me at my apartment.
I was getting way too used to kissing her before I drifted off to sleep then scooping her into my arms for a morning snuggle.
Christmas Eve was approaching too fast for my liking.
We hadn’t discussed what would happen when Christmas was over.
I was desperate to know what she was thinking but I wanted her to bring it up.
I had told her we’d take things one day at a time, and that was working too well for me to risk it.
Two days before Christmas Eve, I made us both dinner in the flat.
Holly put on a jazz vinyl and lit the fire while I cooked pasta carbonara.
I carried over two bowls and a glass of wine for us and joined her at the table.
She wore a Christmas jumper with her jeans today – a cute pink one with a Christmas tree and bows on.
‘You look like a Christmas elf,’ I said as we tucked in.
‘Willow’s request for the last week of Mistletoe Lane – festive clothes for us all. But you forgot, I see,’ she teased.
‘I may have given up my Grinch ways but that’s a step too far,’ I replied with a shudder at the thought of wearing a novelty jumper.
‘So, what was going on earlier?’ I asked, hoping I sounded casual but I’d walked in on her and Willow talking, and their conversation had abruptly ceased when they saw me. It had made me nervous all day.
Holly glanced at me then back down at her plate. ‘She was just saying she couldn’t imagine me not working on the farm. In fact, she likes it so much, she’s suggested I might want to keep on working for her,’ she said slowly, not meeting my eyes.
Hope soared in my chest but I knew I needed to tread carefully. ‘Oh yeah? How would that work?’
Holly explained Willow wanted her to run events at the farm so she could manage the farm itself and look after the baby when it came. Then she added that Taylor had suggested she could also run events for the whole town too.
‘That’s a real testament to how well Mistletoe Lane has worked,’ I said, trying not to shout, Please stay forever at the woman I had fallen so hard for. I reached out and squeezed her hand. That made her look up at me. ‘What did you tell them, Hols?’
‘That I would make a decision on Christmas Eve when we close the winter wonderland for Christmas,’ she replied softly. ‘Paul, I…’
‘It’s okay,’ I said. ‘You’ll know what you want to do tomorrow. Just follow your heart.’ I really hoped that heart would be mine but I wasn’t sure. We’d had such a great week together and we felt so close but she lived in the city. Would she give that up for Birchbrook? For me?
Holly nodded. ‘I hope so.’ Her phone buzzed then with a message and she smiled. ‘Georgia and Lucas have arrived.’
Her best friend and her husband had come to stay for Christmas and I was excited to meet them. I was desperate to make a good impression. I was probably the furthest thing you could get from a people pleaser but I knew how close Holly and Georgia were, and I wanted her to like me.
‘Let’s finish dinner then go and meet them for a drink in the pub.’ They were staying at Birchwood Arms as the farm was full to the brim.
‘Good idea.’
Holly messaged Georgia back and I tried to carry on eating but my appetite had faded. Holly had a great offer that would mean she could move back permanently to Birchbrook and I wondered if I should have asked her to stay. Begged her even. Because it was what I wanted more than anything.
But I didn’t want to pressure her. Then I thought about how much I’d regretted not saying anything when she left ten years ago.
Yes, she was right – we had needed that time to grow into the people we wanted to be but this time, I had everything I wanted.
I couldn’t let that go without trying to keep it.
Could I?
* * *
Birchbrook Arms was packed with people getting merry before Christmas began properly. I recognised everyone in the warm and lively pub. The beams had been draped in fairy lights and there was a Christmas tree in the corner. The log fire was roaring and glasses were clinking.
Holly squealed and rushed over to where a couple sat in the corner, hugging both the man and woman.
Georgia looked like she could be Holly’s sister and Lucas was a tall, dark-haired man who seemed just as happy to see Holly as his wife was.
I was glad she had them in the city. She had clearly made great friends.
I shook their hands and got a round in. Georgia asked for a Coke as she was tired from driving and I could see Holly was confused by her choice.
‘You know everyone,’ Georgia observed when I finally sat back down, having seen multiple people stop to chat to me.
‘The curse of living here all my life, I’m afraid,’ I said, smiling. I took a sip of my beer and gave Holly’s thigh a stroke under the table.
‘The town is just how you described it,’ Georgia told Holly. I wondered what she’d said about it. I knew Holly had left with bad feelings towards Birchbrook but I hoped those feelings were different now. ‘Like something out of a romcom movie.’
‘Does that make me a romcom hero?’ I joked. ‘I shaved my beard and everything.’
Holly laughed. ‘Georgia said we are living the friends-to-lovers trope,’ she said, reaching down to place her hand over mine. I always felt better when we were touching. It seemed like she did too.
‘Works for me,’ I replied.
The evening went well, I thought. Georgia was fun and Lucas was clearly besotted with his wife and they told funny stories from nights out with Holly. When she went to the loo, and Lucas went to the bar, Georgia leaned in to talk to me alone.
‘I won’t say I’ll kill you if you hurt her but Holly means the world to me and I want her to be happy.’
‘That’s what I want too,’ I replied. ‘She means more to me than you’ll ever know.’
‘I can see that,’ she replied with a smile. ‘Her seeing her dad was hard but she’s wanted to do it for years. I’m glad you inspired her to go there.’
‘Did I?’ That made me smile.
Lucas came back then so Georgia didn’t say anything more but I felt like I’d passed the test. When Holly returned, I put my arm around her and looked around the pub I’d drunk in since I was eighteen, when Holly left, and how it felt like it wouldn’t feel the same without her being here too now.
I told myself to tell her that but the evening passed and we went back to my apartment and fell straight asleep in each other’s arms. Time felt like it was slipping away and I wanted it to stay still for a moment. But we woke up on Christmas Eve, the deadline of her decision.
I leaned in to kiss her and the kiss turned hungry and soon we were naked and making love, neither of us saying anything but holding each other like we couldn’t imagine letting go.
Then we had to get ready for a brunch at Birch Tree Farm to mark the last day of it being open before Christmas.
‘Why don’t you join me?’ I said as I grabbed two towels from my cupboard.
‘Shower together?’
‘Mmm,’ I said, wanting more time naked with her.
Her eyes twinkled. ‘Sounds good.’
She skipped into my bathroom, making me chuckle. We climbed into the shower together, the water running over our bodies, and I pulled her close and kissed her, hoping she knew how much she meant to me.