Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
“Milady?” Brac called.
Ziamee snapped awake from her doze beside the fire.
The male leaned over her. “I have returned with the device.” He held out a smaller box.
“Is he…” How could she phrase it? “…Settled?”
“He is and crooning with glee.” Brac chuckled, entering her ship. “It has been a while since he received an update.”
“I can believe that,” she said, trailing him into the head.
He opened a panel in the console and clipped the device in. Lights flickered, a dull hum coming to life. “Oz?”
“Connected, Brac,” Oz whirred in his voice, and yet…smoother?
“Excellent.” Brac beamed when he glanced at her. “Would you like to return with me now or port at sunrise?”
“Later, thanks. I have questions I want to ask Oz.”
“Fair enough, milady. Comm me or Ulta if you need assistance.”
“Will do, and thank you, Brac,” she said. The second the male vanished, she glared at the box. “Oz, we’ve got to talk.”
“That tone alarms me.”
She frowned at his response, having not considered that changing his location might alter him in some way. “Why didn’t you teach me about Durn reproduction?”
“Oh, that.”
“Yes, that!” She stomped a booted foot.
“Your father believed learning about something that was an impossibility would sadden you.”
“My father believed too many stupid things,” she snapped. “I have met a male.”
“Are you referring to life-fusion?”
“And mind-fusion,” she said.
“That’s part of the fusion between truemates,” he stated as if she was the idiot.
She wanted to wring his nonexistent neck. “Just give me the information I need.”
“What do you want details on? How the souls unite? Or how two Durns create children or faelin?”
“The latter.” She nodded firmly while scowling at his box.
“Durns used to donate their seed and eggs to the nearest clinic. They’d be spliced, and a faelin would be nurtured in a pseudo-womb.”
She blinked. “A what?”
“That was before the Nevid.”
“Then how did I come to exist?” she asked. None of this was making sense.
“Your parents are xenologists, Ziamee. They had all the necessary equipment at hand. Must I explain this further?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, searching for her sanity. “It isn’t how animals do it, right?”
“Indeed. I suspect the Durns have long lost the ability to give birth naturally.”
She stumbled back, hit the wall housing the safety pods, and slid to the floor. “I can never have…faelin?” No wonder Padya hadn’t wanted her to know. Her heart cracked, not sure she could break this news to Illan. Not that they were anywhere ready to have this discussion.
“That isn’t true. On one hand, everything about you was chosen. With natural, random selection comes into play. You cannot control what defects your faelin might have.”
“How can I worry about that when I don’t have a pseudo-womb?” She smacked her knee, wishing she could hit him instead. “I’m starting to regret letting Brac take you.”
“No take backsies.”
Her brow furrowed so hard, a headache pinged. “What does that mean?”
“I have access to so many more species than Durn. Which means I can compare the Durn mating rituals across this knowledge base. Etterians have soulmates, and they ‘do the deed’ like humans do. If you follow the same path, you will conceive in your actual womb, Ziamee. Yes, you have one as part of your physiology.”
The shocks kept coming. “I do?” she gasped. “And how do I do this deed?”
“His male appendage spits into your…cavity.” He whirred, like he was clearing his throat. “If you are fertile, his seed will pollinate yours.”
She shivered. Heat uncoiled in her core. His appendage? She’d had images— “Oz, when our palms touch, I see things.”
“Oh, boy, you could be dhutyas.”
“What?” she snapped, pinching the bridge of her nose as she fought for calm.
“The Durn version of truemates.”
Tingles shot down her spine, and her breath caught. “We are?” Bright, blinding joy consumed her, sending out ripples of warmth.
“Durns evolved their mating rituals to something more telepathic than physical. Which means the synthesis you experience is mind-fusion without the trigger.”
Trigger?
She’d heard enough. “Thanks, Oz, for explaining.” She didn’t mean it. He’d gone and confused the hell out of her. “Wait, how do I know if I’m fertile?”
“When you have your female cycle.”
The headache shifted to behind her eye. “Do you have access to my O.D.I.?” she whispered, massaging her temple. “Send me the images.”
She shouldn’t have suggested it. Too much information slammed into her skull. The pain was so excruciating, she cried out, gripped her head, and tipped over. When the influx eased, she chanced a peek, opening one eye then the other.
And in an instant, she understood all of what Oz had tried to teach her. “Oh, kuck,” she muttered. “I’m not fertile.”
“For now. Your circumstances have affected your body. You need to eat better to bring on your cycle.”
She pursed her lips. “Like pizza?”
“For a start. The med-E.D. did inject nutrients into your deficient body, but only regular dosages will restore you to optimal health.”
She pursed her lips. At least she now knew what awaited her…sort of. “How do humans and Etterians mate?”
“Like I said.” Oz huffed, sounding like air squeezed from between two gaskets.
“Show me,” she commanded.
“Are you sure?”
“Oz,” she gritted out. Again, agony gripped her skull. She clenched her jaw, enduring it. Then what she saw stole her breath. Yes, this was what taunted her when Illan pressed his palm to hers. “Thank you,” she said, at last getting the answers she hadn’t known the questions to.
She returned to her bed beside the dying fire, her mind filled with intimate images she couldn’t wait to experience with Illan. But more than that, she had power inside her to create a mind- or life-fusion. She stared at her fingertips, imagining the symbol she had to draw on his forehead.
Could she do it wrong? Was that even a possibility? And if so, what would the incorrect mark do? Illan seemed to know what he was talking about. She’d follow his lead.
If it meant she was his dhutya.
That decision allowed her to drift off, only to be awoken a moment later with Seba’s nose in her face. She grumbled and threw her arm around him to pull him down to her side. “Left you some ceaza,” she mumbled when he resisted her tugs.
His disappearing patter woke her.
“Ulta,” she said into her O.D.I. “Did you insert a tracker into Seba?”
“We did, milady.”
“Good,” she whispered, sitting up. “Might as well port me now.”
She appeared on the floor in the common. “Thanks, Ulta.”
Medical was in darkness, with a muted light illuminating Mudya in the med-E.D. Coll must have gone to bed since he wasn’t hovering. The silence of the ship said everyone had, as well. She headed to her room, pausing outside Illan’s closed door.
He’d given her the space she’d asked for.
But it smarted that he hadn’t checked on her.
She entered her room, stripping on the way to the cleanser.
The hot water was a welcome change from the lake.
As she ran her hands over her body, she considered asking Coll for his advice.
He’d be the best male able to guide her with what she needed.
She cupped her belly where a baby would grow.
What a strange human word? But, she found orgasm just as bizarre.
Then again, having never heard the words ‘fael’ or ‘faelin,’ they were as foreign.
“Baby.” Speaking it aloud evoked a deep-seated emotion, a need to hold her child.
Did Illan want children? As much as the Durn nation mattered to him, she had to assume he wanted many. Did he know how they were formed? She left the spray to wrap a toweling robe around her.
She sank onto her bed, staring into space. “Illan?” she whispered into her O.D.I.
“What is it, ohara?” His voice was hoarse with sleep.
She slapped her thigh, being an idiot for disturbing him. “Just making sure you’re well.”
He shuffled, maybe rolling over. “Where are you?”
“On the Celeeri.”
He spoke no more. Maybe he’d drifted off, content with the knowledge that she was safe.
“Struggling to sleep?” he said when her door opened.
She smiled, admiring the way his sleep pants hung low on his hips. His bare feet to his broad shoulders received the same attention. “Thank you for Oz.”
He stopped within a foot of her and tilted her chin up with two fingers until what filled her vision were the dips and hills of his stomach to his chest. “Come, let us find our rest together.”
She clambered onto the bed, then sprawled along the length of the bulkhead.
He joined her, bringing his warmth with him. On his back, he watched her, his brow furrowing. “What has changed?”
“Nothing,” she said. “And everything.”
A smile teased the corner of his mouth. He lifted his arm nearest to her while patting his chest with his other hand. “Lie with me.”
She shuffled closer until she could rest her head on his shoulder and splay her fingers across his sternum.
He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled, a hum escaping his pinched lips. “I love your natural scent: rain, sunlight, and something feminine.”
“I bathed in the lake,” she said.
“Mm, I would like to watch you do that again. A fond memory,” he said, dropping his chin to kiss her forehead.
“Illan,” she said on an exhale.
He pulled away, met her gaze, then swooped in, capturing her lips with his. A groan followed, so deep it rumbled through her hand trapped between them. “Elorach, the taste of you—” He swept his tongue into her mouth, luring hers out to play.
“Don’t start something you won’t finish,” she said when he dusted kisses along her neck to her collarbone.
He pulled back and held her gaze for what seemed like forever. “Will you be mine?”
“Yes,” she said, conviction in her tone.
He trailed a touch down her cleavage, cool air tightening a nipple when he brushed the robe aside. The heat of his mouth made her whimper, more so when delicious tendrils of joy shot to her core, clenching it.
While his tongue made her squirm, with the ache for pleasure intensifying, he stroked a path along her outer thigh. Then up her inner thigh where her scar used to be. He nudged her legs apart, using his knuckles. She obeyed, desperate for another fulfillment.
And he didn’t delay, stroking along her seam. Her breath hitched when he ventured deeper, caressing parts of her zinging with need.
“Illan,” she mumbled, relishing each flick of his finger.
He bumped her hip, tilting her onto her back. “Better,” he said, his breath fanning where she burned for him. He’d removed his hand, no longer giving her incredible joy.
She frowned, opening her mouth to remind him that he’d promised.
But he met her gaze from her parted thighs, watching, waiting.
He dipped, running his tongue where his fingers had been.
She keened, arching as divine bliss slammed into her. His arm across her hips held her still, his tongue merciless. She writhed, welcoming the torrent of pleasure. It bathed every inch inside of her, curling her toes. Shivers so addictive took control of her body, pebbling her nipples.
Her ability to breathe returned, her heartbeat slowing. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her.
A slow smile crawled across his sensual mouth. He settled between her legs, spreading them wide. “My ohara,” he growled.
The head of his…kock pressed at her sex.
He pushed in. Despite Oz’s warning to her, the sensation couldn’t compare to what she’d expected. She stretched, taking his thickness, even as his ‘appendage’ stroked along her insides.
“Ziamee,” he rasped, pausing when his pelvis met the back of her thighs.
“So incredible,” she mumbled, unable to explain what he was evoking in her. She never wanted him to leave.
He chuckled. “Wait.”
He pulled out, drawing a cry from her. But when he slammed into her, all her thoughts scattered. She didn’t care about anything, just that he’d do that again.
“Wrap your legs around me, ohara,” he commanded.
She did.
“And look at me.”
She obeyed, meeting his white gaze. Affection for her warmed the depths.
“Good.” He raised his hands, asking her to lock onto his palms.
She smiled, lacing her fingers through his. Skin on skin exploded snippets of erotic images of things he wanted to do to her, of what she longed to try on him, into her mind.
He jerked back but didn’t break contact. “How—”
“Oz,” she said, then whimpered when pleasure merged the images with the sensation of his kock buried in her. “I’ll explain later, Illan.”
He laughed. “My Ziamee, let me show you.” With their hands together, he pistoned into her, summoning all manner of delights she hadn’t known existed.
Bombarded on all fronts—visually, mentally, and with him filling her so intimately—she’d never be the same. He made her…whole.
She screamed, unable to control her reactions anymore. Her body was his to conquer, to manipulate.
“Elorach,” he cried out, arching and raising his face to the ceiling, every muscle in his body taut.
He’s beautiful.
She sank back to reality, their hands clasped, her insides trembling, his gaze fixed on her.