Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Seba knew his kind, with evidence that he visited various packs often. As wonderful as that news was, Ziamee blinked, struggling for normalcy when she was in a state of stunned joy.
I love you, had tumbled from Illan’s lips.
And yet, he acted as if he hadn’t said a word.
Maybe she’d imagined the confession. After all, he’d been in the throes of pleasure.
He might have been as overwhelmed as she’d been.
Maybe those words didn’t matter when in the moment?
She couldn’t say, not knowing much about such things.
And she sure as hell wasn’t going to ask Oz about it.
Still, her heart pounded with unbridled happiness at the possibility that Illan had revealed how he felt about her.
She splayed her fingers across her chest, fighting for calm. Oh, yes, she wanted his love and needed her future to include him. The mere thought of bidding him farewell made her spirit flail in panic.
No more mating.
No more partner to argue or do things with.
Could she ask him to stay? Would he? Could she return to a life with her Seba, on her own, hunting for ceaza?
A deep part of her knew that the old Ziamee was long gone.
She’d have to forge a new home for herself.
Everything had changed from the second he’d strolled onto Vora.
She replayed him stepping from his shuttle just before it sank into the sand. His skin had glowed in the sunlight. His hair had flowed around him, whiter than hers—cleaner, no doubt. And his armor had accentuated every muscled inch of him. Yes, she was no longer the same Ziamee.
He’d changed her without her permission, molding her around him, his technology, knowledge, loyalty, integrity, sensual kisses… She should be furious with him, but she’d learned at a young age that to survive, she had to adapt.
Staying with Seba and without Padya would never have been forever. At some point, as shown by Brac’s diagram of Seba’s meanderings, her dear friend would’ve left her, too.
She wasn’t alone anymore, and if she embraced that and all the miracles it brought her, she’d be happier. Especially if Illan truly did love her.
“We can drone, as well, perhaps discover whether there is a female Seba prefers,” Illan offered.
Her head snapped up. “Yes.” Her eyes widened, then she dipped her chin as sadness slipped to the fore. “As much as I can’t bring myself to abandon him, maybe moving him and kidnapping a female aren’t the brightest ideas.”
“Etteria’s finest lima kuu are building a suitable habitat for him, but whether he chooses to live there… That is his decision.”
She flicked aside a tear and offered Illan a watery smile, fighting to keep her love for him hidden. “I like that, but what if he doesn’t want to leave with us? Then your males would’ve lost all their time and resources—”
“It is never a waste,” Brac said, his tone kind. “They will journey on to Vora to learn more about this world.”
“I am hoping Seba is as adventurous and brave as he has shown us. Macy would love to meet him…and you,” Illan said, bringing Ziamee into the warmth of his body. “If that means she has to travel here, then so be it.”
That he wanted her to meet the people in his life had to mean he saw this…
their relationship…as something more than fleeting.
What she ached to demand was whether he’d meant what he’d said, but every time she opened her mouth to do so, the words lodged in her throat.
This was nonsense, this back and forth. Never had she been this timid…
scared, but she sensed that if he rejected her, it would break a part of her deep within her soul.
“We’re heading to this comm station; what are you expecting to discover?” she asked, desperate for a distraction.
“Answers,” Brac said, flicking to a holographic model of a sphere.
He spun it, showing no obvious access points, and yet, it was almost invisible, shimmering as if it tried to reflect the space around it but failed.
“It is an intelligent design, one we tried to replicate. Ours is more of a capsule to allow for a greater living space for our warriors.” He split the model from top to bottom, revealing a section of it.
“This is one circular room for living and monitoring. No privacy should there be more than one male on duty. It is also smaller, more compact, with no docked kuta for evacuation.”
“Escape pods?” she asked, remembering the Haile’s crash landing.
“None,” Brac said.
Illan grimaced. “What must a male have done to deserve such a life?”
“Some love the isolation, which is why King Xeus ensures they are comfortable and have all they require.” Brac summoned an image of a capsule, three times larger than the sphere. “Those on duty also travel between other stations, for a change of scenery.”
He cut this one in half, too, and the space available was better, varied.
Before she could study the rooms and figure out their purpose, he switched to the Maloidian’s sphere.
“It appears to be inert. We are a distance away and cannot, yet, detect a power source—a white dot on our scans. This is an oddity, but it would explain why it is ignoring our attempts to communicate.”
“That aligns with the data the base provided,” Oz intoned. “As soon as we dock, I would like permission to interrogate its operating system and data mine it with the hopes of assuaging your curiosity, Data Officer Brac.”
“Granted, Oz. I will need your threat assessment before we dock, as well.” Brac dismissed the image and deactivated the hologram. “We must prepare for zero life support and gravity, nonetheless.”
“Agreed,” Illan said.
Ziamee pulled away, heading to the rehydrator.
Their meal had been a Durn staple—orrach.
One bite of the strip of dense bread had swept her back in time, and as delicious as it was, melting in her mouth, she could only eat one.
Ending this eventful day with a tisane seemed appropriate.
She took her steaming mug and sat at the table.
The aroma made her smile as she blew on the hot beverage to cool it.
Illan didn’t join her, his baritone rumbling when he spoke. Not that she caught a word.
Coll slid onto the bench opposite her. “Are you well, Ziamee?” he asked, his brow furrowed, his gaze on her while he sliced into his steak.
“Just trying to sort through the recent events.”
He offered her a kind smile. “So much has changed for you, and I hope for the better.”
She frowned. “Let’s summarize. You saved my father, healed me, and found my mother alive.
We stumbled on the cause of my homeworld’s destruction, and hopefully, will soon discover the motives behind it.
And now, having to decide if Seba stays behind?
No, Coll, I’m not all right.” She sipped her tea, peering at him over the rim, curious as to what he’d say.
“Indeed, but if he knows his kind, that is good, is it not?”
She slumped, not surprised that Coll cut to the cause of her heartache. “Yeah, I’m happy for him and sad for me.”
“It is to be expected. Like a mother letting her damu learn to navigate the world without helping.” Coll dragged a chunk of meat through the sauce. “And Illan, are you not pleased to have mated? Such a gift is rare.”
She blushed, her tongue tangling. No way was she going to discuss something so intimate even though Coll was her healer. “I… We…” She swallowed hard.
“I have not known Illan for long, but in the time I spent with him, he has carried himself with dignity. You soften his worldview, and your very presence gives his life purpose.”
She stilled, understanding dawning. “You think I’m his dhutya…” She racked her brain, trying to remember what Illan had taught her about the Etterian soulmates. “His Eth?”
Coll grinned. “The male is an Eth, the female his Dar Eth, and yes, I hope you two will find an eternity of love and acceptance.”
Tears pressed the backs of her eyes, so she blinked them away and hurried to say, “Thanks, Coll, but I…don’t know—”
“There you are,” Illan called, striding toward her. “I would like to introduce you to my brother and his human dhutya, Cyndi.”
“Oh,” she gasped, leaping to her feet. Her cheeks burned as if she’d been caught doing something naughty. “Aren’t they on the way? Wouldn’t it be better to meet in person?” She squeezed Coll’s shoulder in passing, thanking him for his counsel.
“It has been a while since we have met a Durn female, so of course, he is curious.” Illan blessed her with a charming grin. “After this, we must suit up for the station’s exploration.” He paused. “Unless you do not wish to go with me?”
Stay behind for some quiet? She was tempted, but then, she wouldn’t truly be alone. Ulta would be on board. “I’d like to join you.”
“Good.” His expression softened, reminding her of Coll’s observation.
She angled her head, studying the male beside her. How had meeting her changed him?
“Though, only if Oz says it is safe.” He cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her chin. “I do not want you in danger,” he rasped, gazing into her eyes. His breathing shuddered out of him, drawing her deeper into his embrace.
They halted in the comm room; the display vid lit up with another Durn’s face familiar to Illan’s, stating their relationship as filial. Beside him stood a strange creature with pale hair and skin. She gazed at Iddan with such devotion, snagging Ziamee’s full attention.
Love.
She glanced at Illan, wondering if she revealed her heart every time she looked at him.
“My apologies for insisting, Asal Ziamee.”
Iddan’s voice and formal address snapped her focus to him.
Asal? She hadn’t heard that respectful address for a while.
Padya would tease Mudya… Asal Faerar, where would you be without me?
Asal Faerar, how lucky you are to have met me.
Mudya would quip something back, laugh it off, or hit him with her tablet.