Chapter 23 #2
Used to be, seeing her like that would have turned me on.
But that was in the past. Now I couldn’t help but notice she didn’t have the figure to pull off a skirt like that.
There was no flare in her hips, no dip at the waist. It made the ten pounds she’d lost that her body couldn’t afford to do without that much more obvious.
Now that I’d had Nona, I knew there was no going back. She was perfect, built like a woman, all curves and valleys, a waist and hips made for a man to grab and hold onto forever.
“Emma, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.” That was the last thing I was in the mood for. I opened my mouth to tell her I was busy when she quickly added, “It’s about Hannah.” I paused as she looked at me with beseeching eyes. “Please. Just a few minutes.”
I lifted my chin to Hayes, silently communicating to him to give me a bit, then stood from my chair and led Emma to the conference room that looked out on the bullpen and other offices.
I stayed close to the door once it closed behind us, leaning back against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest as my gut tightened with worry. “What’s goin’ on with Banana?”
Moving to the table, she turned and braced her hands on the top, using the leverage to hoist herself up.
She crossed her legs and began swinging them back and forth in a way I could only assume was meant to look tantalizing.
“Banana,” she said with a wistful smile.
“I always loved it when you called her that.”
“Emma,” I said in a frustrated growl.
“Right, sorry. Just….” She waved a hand in front of her. “Old memories.”
Hell no, I wasn’t doing this. Not now, not ever. “You needed to talk to me about Hannah?”
“Um….” She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them as she tangled her fingers together. “It’s about her boyfriend.”
“Heath?” I asked, my chin pulling back into my neck. “What about him?”
“She just told me this morning that you’re allowing her to date. I thought… well, I thought we had an agreement about her dating. She’s not allowed until she turns sixteen.”
My shoulders grew stiff with agitation. “Well, I wouldn’t consider what they’re doing to be dating.
He’s not allowed to pick her up and take her anywhere, but she and I had a talk, and we reached a compromise.
She’s proven herself to be responsible and trustworthy, so the deal now is that she can see Heath just as long as it’s at the house where I can supervise. ”
Her eyes went wide. “Don’t you think that’s something we should’ve discussed?”
“Not particularly,” I answered in a flat, emotionless voice. “That’s part of being divorced. You get to enforce your rules at your place, and I’ll enforce my rules at mine.”
“But we’re supposed to be in this together,” she declared, her voice rising higher. “We’re a team in this, Patrick. We have to be on the same page.”
“We most certainly are not in this together,” I corrected. “We stopped being a team the moment those papers were signed, Emma, and there’s no need for us to be on the same page anymore. Like I said, I have my own rules in my house. No offense, but it’s not really my problem if you don’t like them.”
Emma’s lower lids brimmed with tears. A look of shock crossed over her face as she whispered, “How can you say that?”
Reaching up to scrub at my face, I let out an exasperated “Jesus Christ.”
“I hate this,” she said in a tearful whisper.
Fucking shit. “Can we not do this, Emma?”
She hopped off the table and moved to me faster than I expected. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered, reaching up to cup my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Patrick.”
I wrapped my fingers around her wrists and yanked her hands away from me, sidestepping her and moving several feet away. “Christ, Emma. Don’t do this.”
“I miss my family,” she said softly, a tear breaking loose and slipping down her cheek.
“I miss you. I feel like I’m drowning. Shawn barely looks at me, and Hannah…
she didn’t even confide in me about this boyfriend.
” She let out a caustic laugh. “I found out by going through her phone. And when I asked her about it, she acted like it was nothing.”
“Then that’s somethin’ you have to fix on your own.”
“Patrick, please,” she cried, reaching out for me again.
I lifted my hand to ward her off. “I’m not doing this, Emma. I’m sorry if you came here hoping to rekindle what we used to have, but that’s gone now.”
She pulled in a stuttered breath. “Please don’t say that.”
A dull throb started at the base of my skull and radiated up until it centered behind my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her demeanor suddenly changed, and the sadness on her face mixed with anger. “It’s because of her, isn’t it?”
“Don’t go there,” I warned.
“I don’t like her spending so much time around the kids.”
“And I don’t give a shit. You’re lying in a bed you made yourself, Emma. If it’s not comfortable, that’s on you, but I’m not gonna stand here and let you put your shit on Nona when it has nothing to do with her.”
“It has everything to do with her!” she snapped. “She’s the reason you’re being so cold! She’s the reason my daughter’s keeping secrets from me!”
“Be very careful right now,” I said on a low, menacing growl. “Hannah’s keeping secrets ’cause you spent too much goddamn time makin’ her feel like she wasn’t good enough.”
“I never—”
“Every time you wrapped that measuring tape around her,” I gritted out. “Every time you made some snide, bullshit comment about her needing to lose a couple pounds or dress different or pick other, more popular friends, you were telling our girl she wasn’t good enough.”
“Th-that’s not what I meant.”
“But that’s how she took it. She’s fifteen fuckin’ years old, Emma.
She’s still a child. How’d you think she was gonna handle you putting your own insecurities on her?
Nona knows all about Heath. Hell, she’s known since the fuckin’ beginning!
And she knows because all she’s ever done is make my girl feel like she’s the most special, most beautiful girl on the planet. ”
“She’s not her mother! I am!”
“Then I suggest you stop wasting so much goddamn time trying to jerk me around and spend more of it fixing your relationship with your daughter. But you will keep Nona out of it.”
Realizing her current game wasn’t getting her what she wanted, she quickly changed tactics. “Patrick, I’m sorry. Maybe if we could just meet up for dinner or something—”
“Not gonna happen. I told you already that we’re done, and I meant it. We’d still be done even if I wasn’t with Nona. But I am, and that’s not gonna change.”
This time, when the tears fell from her eyes, I knew they weren’t for show. They were very real. “I… I don’t… I never should’ve let you go. I made a mistake.”
I got no pleasure from watching Emma suffer.
I didn’t want to hurt her, but there was no going back.
What we had was a memory. I was in love with Nona.
She had the best of me. The pieces I thought would never heal, she’d put back together.
Aside from my kids, every laugh and smile she granted me was the most precious gift I’d ever received, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it.
“Yeah, you did. But it’s done. Learn from this, and when you find another man, don’t make the same mistakes.”
She dropped her head in defeat. “There’s no one else for me but you.”
Fuck, but I needed this to be done. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Emma. Truly I am. I want you to be happy. But there’s no other woman for me but Nona.”
“Y-you used to feel that way about me.”
“Emma,” I said softly so she’d meet my gaze. “There’s no sense in looking backward. The past is over and done with. Look ahead. Move forward.”
She didn’t say another word as she grabbed her purse from the table and scurried past me, yanking the door open and rushing through it.
I gave myself a moment to shake off the tension that conversation had settled on my shoulders, then left the conference room and went on with my day.