Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
GYPSY
The next two weeks had been some of the worst weeks I’d ever lived through. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Marco walking away from me and my heart broke all over again.
I had no one but myself to blame for the misery I was suffering with. It was an endless cycle I couldn’t pull myself out of no matter how hard I tried.
So I stopped trying. I couldn’t make the pain go away, but at least I could pretend I wasn’t slowly dying inside.
Or at least that was what I told myself. But every night I worked at Pink Palace, I’d step out into the parking lot after my shift to find Marco leaning against his Cherokee, and I’d lose it all over again.
He never said a word, never even moved. But I knew he was there to make sure I was safe. And that killed me a little more inside every night.
Part of me wanted to ask him to stop, to tell him I didn’t need him looking after me with Xander there, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
There was a bigger, stronger part that craved those moments.
They were my lifeline. My heart would give a little jump every time our eyes locked, and that was the only time I knew the organ in my chest was still working.
Marco’s absence wasn’t felt by just me, either.
Since I forced him out of our lives, Rhodes had become surly and short-tempered, snapping at all of us without provocation.
Sunny and Ray were both being quiet, casting me unhappy looks and giving one-word answers to all of my questions.
Raleigh had taken to throwing tantrums at night when I tried to rock him to sleep, and my normally bright and bubbly Holly was moping around like someone kicked her puppy.
It was all my fault, and I knew I needed to fix it, if not for me, then for them. But fear kept me from acting.
My friends were all being extremely careful with me.
Not used to witnessing me in such a state, they weren’t sure how to react, so they’d taken to treating me like I was made of glass or constantly hovering to make sure I was all right.
But not Odette. She knew better. She knew I wouldn’t break any more than I already had, so she didn’t hesitate to come over every night and tell me what a huge mistake I was making by pushing Marco away.
Like I didn’t already know that.
The loss of Marco had seeped into every aspect of my life.
My performances at Pink Palace had gone downhill, and my tips were shit in response.
Hell, I was so clearly depressed that McKenna had taken to watching me with a constant look of worry on her face.
Even Xander would give me pitying looks every time we glanced at each other. So I eventually stopped looking.
“How are you tonight?” McKenna asked once I finished my last performance of the night and headed back to the dressing room.
I shot her a scathing look as I used a cleansing wipe to scrub the makeup from my face. “I just danced to a Poison track. How do you think I’m doing?”
She winced in response.
Since the memories were so damn painful, I’d cut all Civil Corruption songs from my sets and had to scramble to replace them. Tips were bad enough as it was, if I broke down into a sobbing mess in the middle of working the pole I’d be screwed.
“You know,” she started tentatively, “if you ever need to talk, I’m here. You’ve always been so kind to me. And… well, I don’t have a lot of friends here, but I’ve always thought of you as one. So I just want you to know… I’m here.”
My nose stung and my eyes began to water as I leaned over and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you, Mac,” I whispered into her hair. “I consider you a friend too.”
I pulled back to give her a shaky smile, but froze when I saw the faint bruising along her left cheekbone, hidden beneath a mound of concealer. “Oh my god,” I hissed. “What happened to your face?”
Her eyes widened in fright as she quickly pulled back and lifted her hand to cover her cheek. “I-It’s nothing,” she stuttered, averting her gaze. “I slipped in my kitchen and hit my cheek on the counter.” At the disbelief on my face, she continued. “Seriously, Gypsy. I’m totally fine.”
Warning signals were going off left and right.
I knew in my gut she was lying. I’d used that exact same lie about falling whenever my father smacked me around.
I wanted to push her, but I could see her shutting down already, and I knew I wouldn’t get the truth out of her with force.
I’d have to go gentle. “You know, that offer you just made me goes both ways, hon. I’m here for you too. ”
“Thank you,” she whispered, lowering her head in embarrassment.
God, I was such a shitty friend. I’d been so consumed with my own misery that I didn’t even notice someone I cared about had been walking around with a goddamn bruise on her face.
I vowed to myself right then that I’d do better.
For McKenna. For Eden and Nona and Tempie and Rory. For Odette.
“You have my number, Mac. If you ever need me for anything, or even if you just want to talk, you call me. Day or night. Got it?”
She finally lifted her head and gave me a small smile. “Got it, Gypsy.”
“I’m serious,” I stressed. “You need me, I’m here.”
“I know, sweetie.” Her smile wobbled, her eyes watered, and I knew I needed to be done with this conversation, for McKenna’s sake.
“All right, babe. I’m done for the night. See you later?”
“Yeah.”
Having changed into my sweats, I was on my way out the door a few minutes later when a thought made me pause.
I’d noticed for a while now the way Bruce looked at McKenna.
And I could have sworn that a few of the times I saw them talking to each other, there had been a mutual affection there.
She obviously wasn’t going to tell me what had happened to her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do everything in my power to protect her as best as I could.
Changing course, I went in search of Bruce, finding him lingering just backstage. “Hey, you have a minute?”
“Sure,” he replied, his face a blank mask.
“Have you spoken to Mac lately?”
For the first time since I’d known him, I witnessed something other than boredom flicker across his expression. His jaw ticked and his eyes grew dark as he ground out his reply. “Not recently.”
“So you haven’t noticed the bruise on her face?”
A wave of pure, unadulterated fury rolled off him and crashed right into me so hard I almost staggered back. “Goddamn it,” he growled.
“Is she dating someone?”
“Black,” he clipped, that one word coming out as sharp as a razor blade.
I sucked in a gasp so fast it made my lungs burn. “Malachi Black?”
He nodded in confirmation. “Damn fool woman got herself mixed up with that asshole shortly after he took over.” Oh god, no. “Something about that prick’s just off. He caught us talkin’ a while back and lost his shit. She hasn’t looked at me since.”
“So you think—” Bile began crawling up my throat, threatening to choke me. “You think he hit her?”
“Wouldn’t fuckin’ surprise me.” He looked away, visibly trying to calm his rage. “Swear to Christ, he did, I’m gonna rip that motherfucker’s throat out .”
“Don’t.” Reaching up, I grabbed his arm.
“Don’t do anything that could get you fired, okay?
If he’s really hurting her, we need to be able to help, and you can’t do that if you can’t get near her.
” That seemed to calm him enough that I was no longer afraid he’d storm into the back office and rip Black’s spine out through his mouth, but he still looked murderous.
“I told her I was here if she ever needed me. If you get the chance, you do the same. But for now, I’m afraid she won’t let us do anything more than that. ”
He paused for a bit, looking to the side as his throat bobbed on a thick swallow. “All right, Gypsy,” he finally said, nodding in agreement. “I’ll keep a lock on it. And I’ll let her know.”
I gave his thick forearm a squeeze, letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Bruce.”
“Yeah,” he said with a grunt. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
I opened the back door and stepped out, my eyes landing on Marco a second later. My heart lurched and throbbed at the sight of him standing there, my ever-present sentry.
Talk to him, my heart screamed.
Don’t. This is for the best, my brain countered.
Neither voice won. As usual, my cowardice did. Marco watched as I stood there, struggling with indecision, and as if sensing the battle raging inside me, he tipped his chin and spoke for the first time in two weeks. “Get in your car, girasol. Get home safe.”
He made the decision for me, and like the wimp I was, I let him.
I was teetering precariously on my last nerve the next day as I wrestled with the grocery bags in my arms.
That morning had been a complete and total disaster. Rhodes and Sunny had gotten into another fight over who would get to shower first. Even after both of them were done and dressed, he wouldn’t let it go, and it exploded into my brother losing his cool to the point that he made Sunny cry.
When I snapped at him for being a jerk, he’d stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Afterward, Sunny hit me with a moody silent treatment, full of hostility and teenage angst. Holly had been overly whiny, Ray overly grouchy, and Raleigh was just a terror.
By the time I got the rest of the kids off to school and Raleigh to Odette’s so I could run errands, my patience was shot.
So when the handle of one of my grocery bags snapped before I even got the front door open, sending my carton of eggs crashing onto the porch, it had been the straw that broke that poor abused camel’s back.
“Goddamn it!” I railed at the heavens. “Can I get a break? Just one fucking break? Is that too much to ask?”
When I got no answer, I heaved out a sigh and unlocked the door, dropping all the other bags on the floor right inside.
“Problem?”