Chapter 21 #2
Holding that part of me in check was harder than it had ever been before.
I was hanging by a thread, and with each passing minute, I got closer and closer to losing my grip.
I’d lived through war. I’d seen men die.
I’d taken lives and fought and bled for my country, and even through all of that, I’d only ever felt this out of control once before. And both times, it was because of her.
My family had arrived shortly after Charlotte had been moved to a private room, and I’d hoped that having them there fussing over her would provide a distraction, but the air still hung heavy with tension.
“Are you hungry, dear?” my mom asked, fluffing the pillow behind Charlotte’s head for what had to be the millionth time in the ten minutes they’d been there.
“I don’t know what the food is like in this place, but I can’t imagine it’s very good.
If you want, Walt and I would be happy to run to the diner and grab dinner for everyone. ”
“Sounds good, Mom,” I said at the same time Charlotte said, “Oh no. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
Jolie and my folks grew quiet as Charlotte threw an unhappy glare in my direction.
“Uh . . .” My mother fiddled with her fingers, wringing them in front of her as she tried to lighten the mood that hung dark and thick in the room. “It’s no problem at all, sweetie. We don’t mind. If there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable, you just say the word.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Charlotte give my mom a small grin. “In that case, think maybe you could talk the doctors into letting me go home?”
Everyone else laughed, assuming she was teasing, while my fingers clenched into a hard, white-knuckle grip.
“That’s not gonna happen,” I grated, pulling my attention from the TV I’d been staring at, unseeing, for the past several minutes.
Some dismal reality show with overly-tanned, botoxed-to-hell women had been playing silently in the background.
I didn’t give a shit about the show or anyone on it, but pretending to be engrossed was better than letting the uncomfortable silence swallow us up.
Or at least that’s what I thought. Christ, just looking at her beautiful face, covered in cuts and muddled with bruises, fucking hurt.
“Son,” my father said in warning, but I was too busy staring at my woman to pay him any mind.
The glare she threw me just then was cold enough to freeze water.
“That’s not your call.” That gnawing in my gut increased ten-fold.
It should have been a relief to see that fire of hers was still there, burning bright, but witnessing that wasn’t doing anything to help loosen the tension that had taken over my whole body.
“Yeah, it is,” I corrected. “Became my call when you proved for a second goddamn time that you couldn’t be trusted with your own safety.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew I’d crossed a line the moment the words came out of my mouth, but I was too far gone to stop them.
“Dalt, what the hell? Not cool, bro,” Jolie snapped.
The temperature in the room felt like it suddenly dropped ten degrees, and that big freeze was rolling off the tiny woman curled up in the hospital bed.
“You did not just say that to me,” she exclaimed in a quiet voice.
If I hadn’t been so far gone, I would have read the mood coming off her and shut my mouth, but it was too late.
It felt like a dam had just been breached.
“Been sleeping next to you every night, and this is the first I’m hearing my woman’s been feeling like she’s being watched,” I barked, finally unleashing my anger. “Why the fuck is that, Charlotte?”
She sputtered, her face growing red beneath the bruises. “I-I didn’t think it was a big deal!” she tried to defend. “I thought I was just being paranoid.”
“Dalton, maybe you and I should step outside, take a breath,” my dad tried, but I carried on like he wasn’t even there.
“Or maybe it was just you tryin’ to keep from letting me in.”
“That’s not true!” she cried. “I let you in. You know that!”
“I do?” I asked with an incredulous laugh.
“If I’m in like you say I am, tell me why you can’t sleep through the night.
Tell me why the fuck you ran from me and straight to fucking Cormack, almost getting yourself killed.
Tell me why I catch you starin’ off into space with a sad look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders. ”
Her jaw dropped just for a moment before she clamped it shut.
“That’s what I thought,” I scoffed bitterly. “You say I’m in, but I’m not. Or maybe I’m only in as far as you’ll let anyone, which, with you, means I’ve barely scratched the fuckin’ surface.”
“That’s enough.” My father’s booming voice filled the room, finally breaking through the red fog I’d been trapped in since stepping foot into Charlotte’s apartment earlier.
He moved around the bed, coming to stand in front of me and placing a bracing hand on my shoulder.
“You need to work this anger from under your skin, son. Take some time, go somewhere to cool down. You can come back when you’ve cleared your head. ”
“I’m not—” I started, but he cut me off.
“Go,” he snapped. “Before you say somethin’ you won’t be able to take back. Your mom and I have this. We’ll make sure she’s safe.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to take back everything I’d just let spew forth. I wanted to go back to this morning when I was buried inside my woman, when I felt like we were one, before everything got so fucked up.
But when I looked to the bed and saw Charlotte sitting there, her wide, pain-filled eyes on me as tears spilled down her cheeks, I knew staying wasn’t an option. Not until I’d done as my father said and worked this poison out.
Staying would only make everything worse.