SEVEN
M EGAN PACED ON CHASITY’S deck, finding herself chewing on her nails before pulling them out of her mouth again.
“Dinner’s in the oven,” Chasity said as she came onto the back deck with her. “You going to tell me what has you so riled up? I haven’t seen you like this since college when you found out Kile Strong was in your psych class.” Chasity eased herself in the porch swing, resting a hand on her very large baby bump.
“We got a dog,” Megan blurted out.
“Oh, that’s right. How’d it go? Wait…I hadn’t thought about it before. You hate dogs.”
“It’s, uh, more like a fear-thing,” Megan said, stopping herself as she almost put her finger in her mouth again.
“Miss Psychiatrist has a fear-thing?” Chasity let out a short laugh. “So, tell me all about yesterday.”
Megan relayed the story to her, watching her sit more forward with every juicy tidbit.
“And that’s it? You guys got the dog, and he took you back?”
“Well, kind of. We went out to lunch, got sandwiches, and took them to the lake so Grace could stay with us.” Megan met her eyes. “She really is a sweet thing.”
“Uh-huh.” Chasity sat back in the swing, absentmindedly rubbing her belly. “I’m not sure it was the dog you fell in love with.”
“No one said anything about love,” Megan said as Derrick came out of the slider.
“What is this I hear about love?” Derrick said, his eyes glinting, glancing from Megan to his wife and back. Thankfully, a vehicle coming up the drive pulled him back inside. “Guess I have to wait on the gossip.”
Megan rolled her eyes, then glared at Chasity. “Don’t be cute tonight.”
“Cute? But I thought you said I was a cute pregnant lady.” Chasity smiled innocently.
“You know what I mean. It’s awkward enough without having you…put us on the spot.”
“I would never!” Chasity scooted to the edge of the seat, and Megan held out a hand to help her up.
“Should you really be on your feet this much?”
“Doctor said the more I walk, the faster he’ll come, and this bun is done.” The timer chimed from the kitchen, making Chasity laugh. “Well, I didn’t mean right this minute.”
Megan followed her inside, trying to keep her eyes off the front window where Derrick greeted someone. Her heart sped up. “I don’t even know how to act.”
Chasity glanced back at her. “What does that mean? You shouldn’t ever act, just be yourself.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” she muttered as she followed Chasity in and helped her set the table.
Megan lost herself in helping Chasity until she heard the click of claws on the tile and a soft, wet nose nudge her hand. She sucked back the scream that wanted to escape and instead turned and looked down at the furry creature wagging her tail.
“Well, hello, Grace.” She squatted to give the dog some attention.
“I’m impressed,” Chasity teased before she glanced up the moment that Megan felt the presence she had been both fearing and desiring. “You’re quite the guy to help Megan with her fear of dogs.”
“That wasn’t me,” Tyler said, his voice closing in as he squatted next to Megan. “Hello.”
“Hi,” she said, feeling the heat fill her cheeks. She gave Grace one more pet and stood. “Besides, I’m not sure I trust all dogs.” She met Tyler’s eyes briefly. “Just this one.”
“We all have to start somewhere,” Tyler said, and she could feel his gaze on her before he turned toward Chasity. “I hope you don’t mind I brought Grace? I didn’t know whether I should leave her alone at home yet.”
“She’s fine,” Chasity said. “I’m glad you came.”
“Well, Derrick said I needed more social time, and it beats the bar,” Tyler said with a chuckle, but Megan heard the tone of his voice harden a little.
“Definitely beats the bar. I’ve seen the regulars in there…and the tourists are even worse, though in a completely different way.” Chasity wrinkled her nose.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Jordan’s voice boomed as he entered the room, handing Chasity a bottle of apple cider. “They have their perks.” He turned to Tyler. “What’s up, Ty? Glad you made it.” Then he settled on Megan. “Megan,” he whistled, “beautiful as always.”
Megan felt Tyler tense beside him as she narrowed her eyes. “Save it for your tourists, Jordan.”
Jordan threw out a laugh that filled the kitchen, slapping Tyler on the back, which only seemed to make him harden all the more. “She’s a fiery one.”
Jordan left the room to greet Shane as he entered, seemingly unaware at the wake he had left behind. Tyler eyed her as if wondering if he should address the hanging tension or not.
“Just ignore him, Meg. You know as well as I do he’s just burned that you didn’t fall head over heels for him.” Chasity laughed, but it was forced and awkward.
Tyler kept watching Megan until she met his eyes. “He’s fooling himself then because he’s still pining for his lost love. Besides,” she eased a smile to her lips, “he’s not my type.”
“What is your type?” Derrick asked as he came into the kitchen, but he looked from Megan to Tyler and then to his wife. “Oh.” He shifted his weight before sliding past Tyler toward his wife. “Love, do you need help with anything else?”
“This is the last piece,” she said, handing him a tray of sliced bread. “Oh, Tyler, would you grab that bottle Jordan brought in? I set it on the counter by the fridge, and Megan, you know where the bottle opener is.” Chasity handed out directions as she took her husband’s arm and led them out of the kitchen.
“You okay?” Tyler asked.
“Yeah, fine,” Megan said, digging through the drawer for the opener.
“If he bothers you…”
Megan let out a small laugh as she found the opener and shut the drawer. “What did Frank say about the rottweiler? He’s all bark and no bite.” She looked up to meet Tyler’s eyes. “I know I have nothing to worry about with him…and neither do you.” She bit her lip as she turned toward the door. “Ready?”
His steps followed hers and as they stepped toward the doorway, the warmth of his hand rested briefly on the small of her back as they passed through. The little electric shocks lingered there all throughout dinner and into the night.
The guys started a dart game on the back deck while Megan helped Chasity clean up. Megan sent her friend to put her feet up as she finished washing the dishes. Then she slipped out onto the front deck to enjoy the twinkling stars reflecting on the lake below. Sighing, she sank into the front porch swing, remembering the story that Chasity had told her about it.
The screen door squeaked open, and she glanced up, expecting to see Chasity, but Tyler’s presence filled the porch before she even saw his outline.
“Hey, mind some company?” Tyler asked as he came out.
“Not in the slightest.” She scooted over and patted the swing next to her. “It’s quite the view.”
“Yeah, it is,” Tyler said, but his eyes had never left hers. “I was hoping to get the chance to talk to you…alone.”
“Oh?” Megan’s heart raced as her stomach felt airy, like a thousand butterflies had just taken flight.
“About Krista,” he said, almost as an apology, sitting beside her.
“I see,” she said, her voice pitching a little too high in an effort to keep the disappointment from it. “How can I help?”
“What you said yesterday, about…about her getting attached?”
“Yes,” Megan said. The butterflies had dispersed, but her heart still hammered.
“I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t.”
“I’m worried…that…I’m worried that I’ll not be what she needs.”
Empathy flooded Megan, and her own woes flew out with the butterflies. “No one is perfect, Tyler. We all come with issues and baggage. What makes the difference is the commitment to work through them—together.”
Tyler turned in his seat, reading her eyes. “You really believe that.”
“I do.” And she did. She had seen her parents go through tough times. She had seen her mother’s fears and her father’s inability to let go, but she had also watched them through the hardship when her mother fell ill with cancer and eventually passed. Her dad had been her mother’s rock, and her own.
“What if…if the issues are too great to work through?” Tyler dropped his gaze to his interlaced fingers resting in his lap.
“I don’t believe any issue is too great.” She instinctively rested her hand on his, doing her best to ignore the sparks. “You’ve been through a lot, not just here with losing your parents, your sister, but..what you soldiers go through out…there…” She shook her head. “It’s a lot, but it doesn’t mean you’re broken. Just like your leg, the rest of you will heal with time.”
Tyler swallowed audibly, then squeezed her hand, letting his thumb caress her skin like he had at the shelter. “Is this Dr. Eldridge talking or Megan?”
“It’s me,” Megan said, blinking rapidly while trying to process the intention behind his words.
He nodded, looking out across the forest to the lake beyond. “It really is a great view.”
“Yes, it is,” she said, never taking her eyes off him. She drew in a deep breath, bit her lip, and let the words spill out. “As for Krista, I think the best thing to do is be honest with her.”
The thumb circling stopped, but he didn’t pull away. “You saying I haven’t been?”
“No, not at all.” She licked her lips. “I’m saying, if your intentions are to take custody of her, tell her that so she isn’t second guessing herself all the time.”
He drew his hands away and looked at her. “And if I’m still not sure that would be in her best interest?”
“Tell her that. Tell her it’s what you want, but that you need to make sure it’s what’s best for her.”
Tyler searched her eyes, his green eyes reflecting the string of lights hung around the porch. “You think it’s best to give her the hope…even if it’s false?”
“I think it’s best to be honest with her. That way, if it doesn’t..” she cleared her throat, “if it doesn’t work out, she’ll know it’s not because she lacks anything.”
“So, it will be my lack that makes it not work.” Tyler stood.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Megan blew out a breath, chastising herself for ruining the beautiful moment full of possibilities. “I mean, if you really feel that your issues are too great…maybe you should talk through them, get the help you need, so that they won’t stop you from being everything that Krista needs.”
Tyler spun toward her, his eyes narrowed as he searched hers. “Thanks for the advice, doc.”
Megan’s heart fell and tears burned her eyes as he walked down the steps toward his truck. He spun in his tracks, and she launched into a stand, when a scream erupted from the house.
Tyler was by her side before she had unfrozen. He pushed her against the house, eyes darting every which way as he covered her body with his.
“Stay back,” he said as he inched his way to the door.
“Tyler,” she whispered once she found her voice, but he didn’t hear her.
His hand rested on a bulge under his arm, and a dawning hit her. It had been something she had noticed and yet disregarded every time she had seen him, but now she knew.
She reached for him as he slipped in the doors, his head twisting one way then the other as if looking for the unseen danger. Of course, she could be wrong, but she didn’t feel the scream was one of danger, but one of pain…which could mean…Chasity might be in labor.
She rushed to the door, but as Tyler’s narrowed eyes met hers, she froze. Yet, it hadn’t been too long since Chasity had been attacked, nearly killed, and then stalked for a year. Could he have escaped from prison?
Or…and Megan’s blood ran cold thinking of the letters hidden in her desk.
“Chill out, Ty.” Jordan’s voice boomed. “You’re in Hope Lake. No bad dudes here, just a woman in labor.”
Tyler’s body relaxed and his hand fell, but his eyes still held that darkness. He blinked, almost as if he found himself somewhere he didn’t expect.
Chasity let out another moan of pain, and Megan rushed past Tyler to be by her side.
“Did your timer ding?” Megan asked, drawing from her reserves to find humor.
Chasity let out a small chuckle. “I think it just might have.”
Derrick ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. “I’ve got the go-bag, the diaper bag, and your purse. Shoot! I never got the car seat in your car!”
“You’ll have time, man,” Shane said.
“This is why I never wanted kids. It makes the easiest going guy go nuts.” Jordan shook his head. “See you on the other side, brother. Hope you’re still sane when I do.”
Megan felt Tyler’s silent presence watching, but she focused on Chasity, getting her into the car and then following them to the hospital. She would have time later to process what went wrong when talking with Tyler and his reaction to Chasity’s scream of pain. Right now, she was glad to have the distraction of her friend.
Tyler paced the hallway in his shambled house as he listened to Derrick on the other end of the phone. “So, it was just a false alarm. The doctors say it was probably just gas. The baby’s heartbeat is still strong and Chasity has another couple of weeks until her due date. But man, the stress, I thought that was it. I’ll be better prepared next time.”
“Of course you will,” Tyler said, stopping to swipe a hand across his lengthening hair. “You’ll do great, man.”
“Thanks, and thanks for being there. It was nice to have the backup, you know, in case it had been something…dangerous.”
“Yeah,” Tyler said, clearing his throat. “Sorry, some things just don’t…”
“Hey, I meant it. You don’t know what Chasity and I went through when she came back. I almost lost her…again. It took me months not to come racing in, gun drawn, every time she saw a spider.” Derrick laughed.
Tyler’s lips twitched, the constriction in his chest lightening. “Glad I’m not the only one.”
“Far from it, brother. You know, if you’ve ever considered going into law enforcement…I could use a guy like you.”
Tyler shook his head, then realized Derrick couldn’t see it. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve had enough of that life.”
“Well, if you ever change your mind, just holler. Oh…that’s Chasity, I’ve got to go. We’ll see you soon.”
Tyler ended the call and flipped the phone in his hand, the repetitive motion calming his mind, keeping the shrieks of memory at bay…just.
He had too much to think about in his present life to get sucked into the past…especially that past, a situation he could never fix.
His stomach clenched as he thought about Megan giving him the shrink-talk like he was a patient. Going through all the shrinks and psychoanalysis after the event left him with a foul taste for anyone trying to get into his head and get him to open up about his feelings.
His feelings betrayed him.
The phone dug into his palm until he realized he was crushing the device so much the protective case bent. He dropped the phone onto the couch and shook out his hands, taking in deep breaths. Learning to breathe was the one thing he didn’t regret about all those shrink visits.
He dragged his fingers through his hair, trying to focus, but a constant thwack-thwack kept pulling him out of his thoughts. Searching for the noise, he found Grace on her bed looking at him with doleful eyes, and the thwacking increased its beat.
“Come here, girl.” He bent down, greeting the dog with pets. “What are we going to do, girl?”
She nosed his cheek, keeping her tongue in, then rubbed under his chin, knocking him off balance. He let out a little chuckle as he settled himself on the floor against the wall, straightening out his bum leg. It was healing, though painstakingly slow.
Grace looked at the door and whined, then rubbed against him.
“Oh, I see. You wait until I get settled and then tell me you have to go outside.” He groaned as he picked himself back up. “Well, come on then.”
Grace raced to the door and back to him, then to the door again, repeating the dance until he opened it, but she didn’t run to the area she usually used. Instead, she ran to the truck, bouncing and even letting out an excited yip.
“You want to go somewhere?” He walked up to the excited dog and ruffled her fur.
The house loomed behind him, a series of unfinished projects goading him. He had the siding off and Jordan had his electrician coming tomorrow. The kitchen wall was still in shambles, but again, he needed the electrician to take out the wiring before he could go further.
“Why not?” he said to Grace, giving her one pet before turning back toward the house. “You’ve got to wait while I put some things together.”
Grace whined as he walked back inside, but he was back out and letting her hop into the truck in a matter of minutes. She dashed around the seats, sniffing and whining. Then she found something in the back seat and rubbed her face against it, then her body, until she snuggled up with the piece of clothing.
Tyler reached back to see what had the dog reacting so strangely. Holding up the black material, he realized it was Krista’s overshirt she had in her hands when he picked her up on Friday. He watched the dog, who laid her head on the seat, her eyes imploring him.
“You miss Krista?” he asked, realizing he did, too. “Krista?” he said again, and she lifted her head, panting. “Okay. Okay. We’ll go see Krista.”
Grace let out a little woof before settling herself again.
What was he going to do with these girls: Grace, Krista…and Megan?
His stomach clenched again. He had let himself get too close, become too accustomed to having Megan near, to feeling her skin against his. How should he negotiate the interlaced relationships he had somehow woven into his life upon returning to Hope Lake?
Frank’s words of advice echoed in his head as he pulled out onto the highway. Maybe the old man had something going…maybe the best course of action was truth, like Megan said, but also no action at all. Like Frank said, let them make the moves.
He growled, the rumbling in his chest making Grace stir in the back of the truck. She jumped over the seat to sit next to him, giving him a whine before she rested her head on his lap. Her presence eased the anxiety coursing through him as he let his hand absentmindedly pet his new companion.
He had let his mind go, thinking about nothing at all, until he pulled into the camp. He didn’t know what to expect. It was the first time he arrived without scheduling it first. The day had only begun, and as he opened the truck door, he could smell the sweet scent of pancakes wafting from the meeting house along with a cacophony of kid conversations. He hesitated as he clipped the leash on Grace’s collar. Maybe he shouldn’t have just shown up.
His eyes scanned the area, landing on Megan’s car parked near her office. He shifted his weight and turned back to his truck, having second thoughts about dropping in unexpectedly. Grace balked when he called her to hop back into the truck, giving a little woof and tugging on the leash.
“Gracey!” Krista’s voice had him freezing before drawing in a breath and turning toward the girl who ran over to him. “Hey, girl. You’re looking good. Look how shiny your coat is. Uncle Tyler taking good care of you?” She glanced up at him. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”
“Grace missed you.” He leaned against his truck seat in the open door.
“Oh, Grace did, huh? Did she tell you that?”
“Actually, in her way, yes, she did,” he said.
Krista cocked her head before giving the dog a few more pets and standing up to look Tyler straight in the face. “So…”
“So…” Tyler smiled.
“What ya doing here?” She glanced at Megan’s office then back at him. “Here to see Megan?” She waggled her brows.
Heat crept up his neck as he shook his head. “No, I told you. Grace missed you.”
She raised her brows further.
“Okay, I missed you, too, but,” he sighed and pushed off the seat, “I’ve got to tell you something.”
“Okay,” she said warily, clasping her hands tightly.
“Look. I’ve had it rough. You’ve had it rough, too, I know, but I…I had to do things that, well, that just don’t sit well…”
“You mean in the service?” Krista asked, leaning against the door, relaxing a little.
“Yeah, in the service.” He swiped a hand down his face. “It’s…sometimes those memories come back at me…at the wrong times and I…” He stepped away from the open door to pace. “I worry I may not be good for you…not on a full-time basis.”
Krista tensed, and she dropped her gaze. “I understand.”
“Hey.” He closed the distance between them and grabbed her arm gently. “That doesn’t change the fact that I love you, that I’d do anything for you, or that I want to be a part of your life.”
“Okay,” she said, but she didn’t lift her gaze.
Using his other hand, he lifted her chin until she met his eyes. “And I’m not saying never…I’m just saying it’s gonna take time…time for me to make sure it’s what’s best for you.”
She searched his eyes, blinking rapidly and gave him a nod. “So, you’re still giving me hope.”
He cupped her cheek, seeing the sweet four-year-old he remembered so well. “Yes, darling, I’m giving us both hope.” He let go of her and stepped back. “And a promise that whatever happens, I will always be in your life, one way or the other.”
“I’ll take it,” she said, her lips twitching into a semi-smile. She bent down and gave Grace a few more pets as the noise of the kids grew louder. “I wish I could stay, but I have a trail ride to get ready for. I’m riding Storm today. I think he’s ready.”
“Be safe, Krista.” He drew her into a brief hug.
“Of course.” She gave him a little punch. “Now go see Megan.”
He glanced at the office with a horrified expression.
“You’re here. You might as well say hi. Besides, you need to tell her what you told me.”
“Why?” he croaked as he shifted his weight.
“If you don’t know, well, I’m not gonna tell you.” She shrugged before turning with a wave to walk toward the barn.
Her courage in the way she handled their talk made him groan with the knowing he had to be just as courageous. He closed the truck door and gripped Grace’s leash while looking toward Megan’s office. Should he apologize for last night? Confront her about shrink-talking to him? Ignore it altogether?
His footsteps felt jolting as he made his way to the office, doing his best to peer in the windows to see if she was there. Maybe he’d get lucky and she’d be somewhere else, or with a kid.
As he approached the office, the glare on the window diminished, and he saw her at her desk. Yet the closer he came, the more his heart sped up, along with his steps. She had her head in her hands, and as he opened the door, he heard her sniff.
She jolted at the sound of the door, wiping her eyes and opening her mouth, but when she saw him, the tears came anew. Grace whined, pulling on the leash to get to her, and Tyler relaxed his grip, letting the dog go comfort her as he shut the door behind him.
When he made it to Megan’s side, she had dried her face with a tissue and was covering something on her desk. “Are you okay?” He reached for her, hesitated, and finally dropped his hand.
“Everything’s fine,” she said, though her tone was high and constricted.
“And I’m your fairy godmother,” he muttered. He glanced down at the paper she had tried to cover, and the hairs shot up on the back of his neck. His hand reached for it without thinking. “What is this?”
“Confidential…” she said as she made a grab for it, but she didn’t succeed and dropped her head in defeat.
“What is this?” he asked again, fear lacing his words as he reread the scratched lettering on the paper. “Megan…” He gripped her shoulder with his other hand. “Is this the only one?”
She sucked in a breath, wiping her eyes as she shook her head. A moment later, she pulled out a drawer, pushing aside a stack of files to show several more letters.
Tyler reached in and took them all, taking them over to the couch and laying them out one by one. Six letters. Each postmarked one week apart, all of them Sacramento stamped…all of them except the last one.
He looked up at Megan, who had busied herself in petting Grace, her chest still softly heaving as if she silently cried. “Megan,” he waited for her to look at him, “have you shown these to anyone?”
She shook her head.
“Seriously? Your best friend’s husband is the sheriff, and you have said nothing about this?”
“They’ve been through so much, I didn’t want to bring up the horrible memories for them.” She bit her lip, then met his eyes. “I thought it was just some infatuated patient that would eventually let it go, but then…today…that letter…”
“Is postmarked from Hope Lake County.”
She nodded, fresh tears streaming down her face.
He glanced through the letters, reading them in order, each letter’s demands more emphatic and detailed than the last. Tyler hadn’t felt this level of anger since…since that nightmare in Syria. Rage built within him, and he wished the man who had the audacity to threaten his…Megan, was standing in front of him so he could rip his throat out.
He gathered up the letters. “I’m taking these to Derrick right now.”
Megan stood up in a rush that scared Grace back to him. “No. They don’t need this, not when Chasity is on bed rest and the baby could come at any moment.”
“Oh,” Tyler didn’t even try to hide the sarcasm in his voice. “Would you rather me wait until after this stalker threatens you face-to-face?”
“You don’t think..surely he wouldn’t…” Megan’s eyes grew wider and wider.
“He’s already here in the county, Megan.” He gripped the envelopes in his hand and stepped toward her. “I’m telling Josie on my way out, too. You guys need to keep an eye out for strange cars.”
“But…” Megan let her unspoken words fade off as she sank into the couch he had vacated.
“Geez, Megan! I know you’re independent, but this goes too far!” He stomped toward the door. “Come on, Grace.”
Grace nosed Megan’s knee and whined, but eventually followed his order.
At the door he paused. “Just…keep your eyes open, doc. I’ll be in contact after I talk with Derrick.” He shook his head and stormed out of the office in search of Josie. Fury built inside of him at the thought of a crazy guy threatening Megan and at her for not saying anything until it was almost too late. And it was too late…too late for his heart. He couldn’t walk away, not knowing that she was in danger.